"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions

[porterwoman]

I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.

I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.

So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

Thoughts? Opinions?

Rebecca, that agnostic porterwoman

[Quailfeather]

I suppose that if a patient asked me, "Are you saved?", I would have to reply with, "No, I'm spent." It would be a truthful answer on most days.

Actually, I do have a button that says, "Unsaved...and loving it!" However, I don't think it would be a good idea to wear it to work, especially working in a Catholic hospital. I already received a brow-beating several years ago for wearing a button that said, "I'm not your type....I have a pulse."

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Don't work around some of our night shift nurses . . . . they will tell you quite a bit about their sex lives. :wink2:

steph

Way easier to put a stop to that, than the "saved" questions, though.

[nurse_1098]

originally posted by cheerfuldoer

I've knowlingly cared for patients who are of various belief systems, and if they ask me to think good thoughts for them, I tell them I sure will. If they ask me to pray for them -- with them -- I will right then and there. It's what the patient wants to feel better, heal better........again...it is NOT about me.......or us as their nurses. :)

If Prayer is something that you do then your approach works well, for those that do not pray there needs to be a way to get around that prayer request tactfully, and that is where the line "I'll keep you in my thoughts" comes in handy. One can not truthfully say they will pray if they do not have prayer as a part of their belief system.

[danu3]

If Prayer is something that you do then your approach works well, for those that do not pray there needs to be a way to get around that prayer request tactfully, and that is where the line "I'll keep you in my thoughts" comes in handy. One can not truthfully say they will pray if they do not have prayer as a part of their belief system.

That is a good point. Not everyone feel comfortable praying for a patient (even Christians). But nurses are to recognize "spiritual distress" at a minimum. If a patient is in some kind of "spiritual distress" and ask for prayer, a reply of keeping you in my thuoghts is not going to help the patient. Having the nurse pray anyway while the nurse is not comfortable with it is not going to help either because the patient can most likely feel it. Also it is not good for the nurse.

This is where working in an environment where you have good team work comes in handy because it would be good if you can get another nurse who is comfortable praying to pray with the patient. Actually it does not have to be a fellow nurse, can be anyone who is caring for the patient from the doctor to a CNA. Ideally, someone from the chaplaincy but in most cases you can't get a chaplain right away as they are running all around the hospital like everyone else.

Actually that might be something interesting to bring up at one's place of work. Can we have sort of designated people who feel comfortable praying with the patient when the patient request it. If the team is diverse enough, maybe you can even designate different types like Jewish, Christian, Muslim, ... etc. Also as mentioned already, not all religion "pray" some prefer "meditation" of some kind instead.

-Dan

[danu3]

I

Actually, I do have a button that says, "Unsaved...and loving it!" However, I don't think it would be a good idea to wear it to work, especially working in a Catholic hospital. I already received a brow-beating several years ago for wearing a button that said, "I'm not your type....I have a pulse."

I think you need to remember most people do not have the warp sense of humor that some nurses have. I truely don't know which of your bottons is worst...

-Dan

[live4today, RN]

If Prayer is something that you do then your approach works well, for those that do not pray there needs to be a way to get around that prayer request tactfully, and that is where the line "I'll keep you in my thoughts" comes in handy. One can not truthfully say they will pray if they do not have prayer as a part of their belief system.

True...for those who do not pray.

I've never come across a situation with a patient's faith or lack of faith that made me uncomfortable, so I wouldn't know how those of you feel who are in a situation where patients expect you to share a faith you may or may not have or feel comfortable talking about.

If a patient ask me to keep them in my thoughts, I reciprocate by letting them know that I will keep them in my thoughts. If they want more from ME, I make it a point of asking them exactly what they would like from me in the way of spiritual encouragement. If it is a chaplain they want, I call the chaplain. If it is a priest, I call the priest. If it is a rabbi, I call the rabbi. If my patients want prayer and specifically ask me if I will pray for them or with them, I give them what they want. I do believe in the power of prayer, so I'm not uncomfortable praying for others who ask me to pray for them. I respect those who do not have this belief however, and they must do what is best in their given situation with a patient. We all handle it differently, and that's okay. :)

[danu3]

Actually that might be something interesting to bring up at one's place of work. Can we have sort of designated people who feel comfortable praying with the patient when the patient request it. If the team is diverse enough, maybe you can even designate different types like Jewish, Christian, Muslim, ... etc. Also as mentioned already, not all religion "pray" some prefer "meditation" of some kind instead.

Comment to my own post. If the hospital have a chaplancy, it might be interesting to invite the chaplancy for a talk in terms of how to deal with these kind of problems. Especially for nurses of different faith (or no faith) and nurses who are not comfortable at praying. Maybe even some short training sessions later on. Also if do have "designated" people, they can receive extra training also dealing with spiritual related issues.

Just thought of something else. It would be great if the training involve some kind of fun role play. People play different type of patients and just give your fellow nurse a hard time. For example, a person can play an condenscending, self-righteous "Have you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior" patient and just give the other nurse a hard time. Hmmm... probably don't want to start with this one. Start slow like a patient who just ask "what church you go to" with well intent, then with the harder one "Are you save" with well intent, then "Are you save" with a condemning attitude, then... etc.

I better stop, this time change is messing up my head...

-Dan

[porterwoman]

Asking me about religion is like asking me if I had sex last night.

YES! Exactly! :imbar

[MichaelSSSS]

Naw, ya don't tell them nothin' - you say "Back off with the religion stuff or I'll beat your brains in!!!!"

Just kidding. But that's how I feel about the whole deal sometimes.

[fab4fan]

Maybe they should just use the government to impose their religious beliefs on you like mainstream Christians.

I never have a problem with Witnesses or LDS missionaries.

Thanks, Sharon. I was beginning to feel a bit beat up on. But of course, this isn't the first time I've read nasty comments about Witnesses on this board. Of course, a few bad experiences from some must represent all of us, I guess.

[prmenrs, RN]

I had a family just like described: father, mother, little girl in a pretty dress, holding a Bible ring my doorbell literally as I was taking off my high heels from taking my son to Mass. Initially, the woman was very polite, asking if they could 'pray w/me". I replied that I was a Catholic, and we had just returned from Mass. The man rudely asked me if I had "read the Bible". I replied that the entire Mass is based on the Bible, and the words that Jesus and the prophets used. The first part of the Mass is the Liturgy of the Word, including a reading from the Old Testament, a Psalm, a reading from the New Testament, and a reading from the Gospel. So, yeah, I had read the Bible. (My first though when I opened the door was--hey, we've already done religion today. Irreverent, I know)

That really irritated me. Then I noticed other houses in my cul-de-sac had little notices on their doors [in Spanish] saying that this was a Catholic household. Please don't bother us. I think the door-to-door salesmen (families) were targeting Spanish families to try to convert them out of their evil Catholic ways. It's all I can do to be civil when they are so insistent.

It's different at the hospital--more like I'll respect you if you respect me. One of the nurses like to watch a TV evanglelist program on Sunday mornings; it's only 1/2 hour, and nobody minds. The hospital has recently been taken over by a Catholic hospital. We now have 3 chaplains, all female, 2 Protestant, 1 Catholic nun. Most of the pt population is Catholic anyway, so we don't hardly ever get someone trying to change us.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

It bothers me when any religion goes door-to-door.

I love the peephole on the front door.