"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.

I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.

So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

Thoughts? Opinions?

Rebecca, that agnostic porterwoman :confused:

Don't work around some of our night shift nurses . . . . they will tell you quite a bit about their sex lives. :wink2:

steph

LOL, so true--don't know what it is about the night shift that causes people to open up so much, but I can remember working L&D and post-partum in the Navy and having co-workers spill their guts about the abortions they'd had, the kids they had given up for adoption as unmarried teenagers, and their affairs---we had one married civilian aide (probably about 45, which seemed ancient, as I was only 20) whose boyfriend (husband was probably home babysitting their sleeping kids, poor guy) came to visit her on dinner breaks--I lived off base close to the hospital and one night (very shortly after she started working there) the two of them asked me if they could use my apartment for, well, I guess the occasional quickie. I didn't even know these people!!! What chutzpah!!! :uhoh3:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I've never had anyone at work ask me this thank goodness...just door to door. ;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
LOL, so true--don't know what it is about the night shift that causes people to open up so much, but I can remember working L&D and post-partum in the Navy and having co-workers spill their guts about the abortions they'd had, the kids they had given up for adoption as unmarried teenagers, and their affairs---we had one married civilian aide (probably about 45, which seemed ancient, as I was only 20) whose boyfriend (husband was probably home babysitting their sleeping kids, poor guy) came to visit her on dinner breaks--I lived off base close to the hospital and one night (very shortly after she started working there) the two of them asked me if they could use my apartment for, well, I guess the occasional quickie. I didn't even know these people!!! What chutzpah!!! :uhoh3:

stevie - did you let them???? :rolleyes: :D

I guess this question to me is just like any other question I'd get at work that I didn't think was appropriate to answer. I've been asked by patients if I would marry them. I laugh and say no, I'm already married. Sometimes a patient will tell me I look really tired - well, gee thanks I'm thinking inside ...but on the outside I just say something like "yes, I got out of bed at 1:45 a.m. so I'm a little tired".

Just use your professional training and be courteous and get on with your day. It isn't the end of the world to get asked if you are saved. The truth is, someone just cares about you. That ain't bad . . .

steph

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.

It has to handled individually, like all patient care issues. I don't bring up my beliefs, but occasionally a patient will broach the subject. In my private life, I don't evangelize; in fact, I am offended by it. Anybody who describes themselves to me as a "good Christian" immediately brings the question to my mind "as if it's not apparent." Lead by example is far better in my book; and if one's example is exceptional, it doesn't really matter what religion it is, does it?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
It has to handled individually, like all patient care issues. I don't bring up my beliefs, but occasionally a patient will broach the subject. In my private life, I don't evangelize; in fact, I am offended by it. Anybody who describes themselves to me as a "good Christian" immediately brings the question to my mind "as if it's not apparent." Lead by example is far better in my book; and if one's example is exceptional, it doesn't really matter what religion it is, does it?

I remembered an old sermon once said something to the effect that we (Christians in the context of the sermon) are witness for Christ in our actions all the time. The question is, are we a "good" or "bad" witness. Instead of asking a person to read the Bible, act what the Bible teaches and the person next to you would have read the Bible - in 3D.

One reason I was attracted to nursing is because of all the nurses that I personally have interacted with, especially during the time when my mom was real sick. None of the nurses I ever interacted with ever suggested directly or indirectly to go into nursing (they did not "evangelize"). It was many years later when I was debating whether I want to go into nursing or not, that these nurses come into mind and "pushed" me over to decide to go into nursing.

Back to this topic. How one treats your patients, your fellow nurses, your manager, the CNAs, the housekeeper will speak loudly about one's faith. Especially in a stressful and bad situation.

Evangelize in a hospital setting (from health care provider to patient), as mentioned by other posters already, is actually not ethical (even if it is not against hospital policy) because it is not a playing field. If it is a level playing field (outside the hospital where the person is well), that is a different matter. In a hospital setting, it is time for healing, time for caring, and time for compassion.

-Dan

Up Vote Up Vote ×

For the Christians on this thread:

Yes, I really am offended if someone asks me if I'm saved. I try very hard not to show that I'm offended when asked at work (which is nearly every work day), but offended I am. And I'm not just asked this by patients, but visitors, police officers, other staff members...

I try to respect all religions. I believe that each religion is a different path eventually leading to the same place. People who are Christian are the only ones who intrude on the space in my life which I feel is very private, and, well, sacred.

I just try to to as respectful as possible while changing the subject.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I remembered an old sermon once said something to the effect that we (Christians in the context of the sermon) are witness for Christ in our actions all the time. The question is, are we a "good" or "bad" witness. Instead of asking a person to read the Bible, act what the Bible teaches and the person next to you would have read the Bible - in 3D.

One reason I was attracted to nursing is because of all the nurses that I personally have interacted with, especially during the time when my mom was real sick. None of the nurses I ever interacted with ever suggested directly or indirectly to go into nursing (they did not "evangelize"). It was many years later when I was debating whether I want to go into nursing or not, that these nurses come into mind and "pushed" me over to decide to go into nursing.

Back to this topic. How one treats your patients, your fellow nurses, your manager, the CNAs, the housekeeper will speak loudly about one's faith. Especially in a stressful and bad situation.

Evangelize in a hospital setting (from health care provider to patient), as mentioned by other posters already, is actually not ethical (even if it is not against hospital policy) because it is not a playing field. If it is a level playing field (outside the hospital where the person is well), that is a different matter. In a hospital setting, it is time for healing, time for caring, and time for compassion.

-Dan

Good post . . .except for the last paragraph . . the OP was concerned about patients asking the question "are you saved". Right?

We can't tell our patients what they can and cannot say . . well, except I think I can ask them not to swear.

hmmm . . . maybe we can ask them what to say and what not to say . .

I'm confused now . .. :)

steph

Up Vote Up Vote ×

ughh, this makes me ill to think about. no one has the right to ask me anyting of the sort. if you had any understanding about other religions or cultures, you would know that this is an extremely offensive question. it is personal. and no, you do not have the right to ask me personal questions. not about my religious beliefs, nor anything else.

and what about my freedom of religion? being forced to listen to a condescending question about my supposed salvation is a violation of that.

it all boils down to freedom of speech. they have the right to ask you the questions about salvation, but you also have the right to not discuss it.
Up Vote Up Vote ×

OK, I guess I could fake it once in a while too. That is if I stop turning red.

I am a red blooded full blown atheist. But I also realize when I am rolling someone into OR that isn't the time to tell them that the masked face working on them is a heathen. I lie. I lie through my teeth. You get some 80 y/o going in for a dangerous surgical procedure and you don't need the added paranoia. If they ask me to pray, I bow my head and think of anything I can do to make my patient more comfortable. If s/he thinks I am praying, it's all the better for my patient.

There is a time and place for absolutely everything. In a hospital setting where someone is facing a life threatening procedure, that isn't the time nor the place. My job is to get that patient through "X" and by zog, that's what I'll do.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
I am a red blooded full blown atheist. But I also realize when I am rolling someone into OR that isn't the time to tell them that the masked face working on them is a heathen. I lie. I lie through my teeth. You get some 80 y/o going in for a dangerous surgical procedure and you don't need the added paranoia. If they ask me to pray, I bow my head and think of anything I can do to make my patient more comfortable. If s/he thinks I am praying, it's all the better for my patient.

There is a time and place for absolutely everything. In a hospital setting where someone is facing a life threatening procedure, that isn't the time nor the place. My job is to get that patient through "X" and by zog, that's what I'll do.

Very well said.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

AzMichelle - Bravo!!!

steph

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Good post . . .except for the last paragraph . . the OP was concerned about patients asking the question "are you saved". Right?

We can't tell our patients what they can and cannot say . . well, except I think I can ask them not to swear.

hmmm . . . maybe we can ask them what to say and what not to say . .

I'm confused now . .. :)

steph

This thread is interesing. I think this thread is bringing up another topic - personal space violation (in terms of what topics is personal and topic is not). That people do have different personal space and we have a collision of these boundaries.

What else, back to the OP as you suggested, it is a question of the patient asking the nurse (not other co-workers) about a topic that the nurse consider to be extremely personal. Do the patient have the right to ask that? I don't know because I don't know if we are actually asking the right question. I mean, as hinted by Steph, are we now going to give the patient a list of their rights (patient's right) and a list of the health care staff rights (Thou shall not ask people their age, political affiliation, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, martial status, ... etc) and make sure they sign it?

This is actually not as simple as it seemed. For example, if a patient is verbally sexually harassing a nurse, that is definitely a no go as the nurse has the right in this case to be free of it (let's ignore the case where the patient is serious mentally ill and the patient is doing this in a way that is totally out of character as that is another can of worms). On the other hand, take swearing as mentioned, that is sort of in the grey area. I can see how that violate some nurses' space. But for someone like me (I do not swear myself), you can swear till you are blue in the face and it is not going to bother me. Or as the OP brought up, the subject of religion, to the OP, it is a difficult and personal topic. For me, it is fine even if a person from a totally different religiion is trying to convert me (that happened to me more than once). Or what about other personal subject like death? What happen if the patient wants to talk about it but the nurse is not comfortable with it because it is very personal?

Not a easy topic...

-Dan

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment