"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.

I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.

So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

Thoughts? Opinions?

Rebecca, that agnostic porterwoman :confused:

For the Christians on this thread:

Probably should be "For the Christians who like to ask people if they are saved..." is probably more accurate since they are lots of Christians who do not do that. :)

Yes, I really am offended if someone asks me if I'm saved. I try very hard not to show that I'm offended when asked at work (which is nearly every work day), but offended I am. And I'm not just asked this by patients, but visitors, police officers, other staff members...

Is this in NC also? What do people do? Instead of greeting each other by saying "Hello", "Good morning", ... people greet each other by saying "Are you saved?". I am confused. Do the people who asked you the same people all the time (that is you answer them once already) or these are new people?

You really should consider moving to California, like I said, we need nurses here.

-Dan

Up Vote Up Vote ×
probably should be "for the christians who like to ask people if they are saved..." is probably more accurate since they are lots of christians who do not do that. :)

is this in nc also? what do people do? instead of greeting each other by saying "hello", "good morning", ... people greet each other by saying "are you saved?". i am confused. do the people who asked you the same people all the time (that is you answer them once already) or these are new people?

you really should consider moving to california, like i said, we need nurses here.

-dan

i interviewed several places before i chose the current facility wherein i work. while this isn't considered the "deep" south, it's south to me! i think i immediately nixed working in alabama, partly because of the awful pay, but also because of the hyper-biblebelting i saw in the staff of the hr offices! when i interviewed, one of the secretaries, who was making idle chit-chat with me asked me what kind of church i go to (presuming i would live there), and i said "i'm unitarian-universalist (uu)." she frowned and said, "is that a church?" i said, "some places of worship are called churches, others are called fellowships. it depends." she was thoroughly perplexed. after working it out in her mind she replied, "well, you can come to my church...we all believe in god, right?" :uhoh3: i was too heartsick to say anything, and i let her ramble on. it continued on...later on, after the interview, i stayed with some friends in birmingham, eating out with a group, and nearly everyone who was introduced to me asked, "where do you go to church?" to say the least, i felt some sort of affront, but all i could think of to say was, "i don't live here." it seemed to satisfy everyone except one, who practically cornered me into stating my religion, and when i did, stated emphatically that i was not going to a real church! :imbar only after the fact did i find out this was a baptist minister. needless to say, i didn't enjoy the welcome.

all that being said, i don't mind talking about my beliefs, in general. i do mind intolerance. very few people know what uu's are, what we believe in, etc., but i do mind when someone belittles my beliefs. i think living in thomas jefferson's backyard has contributed to my strong beliefs in freedom of religion (all religions) and the separation of church and state.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

i don't have to be offended about this question because i most definitely am saved..however i never ever ask this question of anyone..

marie do you really think that it is easier to shut up those who love to talk about their love [ie sex] lives???i have worked with straight and with gay nurses who think that i am really interested in what they do...if you want to know the truth i don't think that these people really have the activity that they brag about

azichelle...i agree with your post 100%..these people are scared out of their wits..this is the most horrible experience of their lives and they need someone to hold their hands and tell them that everything is going to be all right .. a nurse who makes a joke about saving poop/pee may feel like she is witty and with it and i am sure that it shuts up the patient but they give no comfort at all

i believe that saying you prefer not to discuss this is the best solution...don't take offense when none is made...like others have said it is probably a conversation opener//if you don't want to answer change the subject

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.
Back to this topic. How one treats your patients, your fellow nurses, your manager, the CNAs, the housekeeper will speak loudly about one's faith. Especially in a stressful and bad situation.

I was gonna stay out of this, but this is my main issue with the whole "are you saved" issue. And danu, just want you to know I'm not trying to attack you here, this is something that comes up all the time, in every profession, in every part of the world. How I treat anyone speaks nothing about my faith or lack thereof or whatever. Jesus said to be a nice person (among other things, I know). But whether or not someone treats others with kindness has absolutely no relationship to what religion someone professes to practice.

I imagine when it comes to pass that a patient asks me to pray with them, I'll bow my head and think nice thoughts. And yes, I'm sure many people ask if you're saved because they care about your soul, but some ask because they think it's a criterion for judging your character.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
marie do you really think that it is easier to shut up those who love to talk about their love [ie sex] lives???i have worked with straight and with gay nurses who think that i am really interested in what they do...if you want to know the truth i don't think that these people really have the activity that they brag about

Yes, i really think it is.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

:

I think this is the most appropriate answer. As a nursing student I was under the impression that holistic nursing included spirituality. It may not be to discuss your own but I think it is definitely beneficial to explore their spirituality because in many cases it is a source of strength. I am speaking as a mother, widow, friend and nurse.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

:

I think this is the most appropriate answer. As a nursing student I was under the impression that holistic nursing included spirituality. It may not be to discuss your own but I think it is definitely beneficial to explore their spirituality because in many cases it is a source of strength. I am speaking as a mother, widow, friend and nurse.

Wow, that is really good. Thanks.

steph

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I answer honestly and proudly - YES!! :) One of the things I LOVE about being a nurse is that I get so many opportunities to talk about my Saviour and pray with (and for) my patients. I'd never walk in a pt's room and open the conversation with "Good Morning, I'm Shelley... Are you saved?" but I have had the occasion to share my testimony. We see patients at a time when some NEED to reach out, but may not have anyone to reach out to, or even know how.

The questions I'm more offended by are "what are you" meaning my race or nationality. I always reply with "a girl" as if they can't tell. Although the other day I walked into one of my patient's rooms and his wife said "You know, you are the perfect size... don't get any bigger than you are now and you'll be fine! You are fine just like you are, just don't get any bigger". I about FELL OUT.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

i interviewed several places before i chose the current facility wherein i work. while this isn't considered the "deep" south, it's south to me! i think i immediately nixed working in alabama, partly because of the awful pay, but also because of the hyper-biblebelting i saw in the staff of the hr offices! when i interviewed, one of the secretaries, who was making idle chit-chat with me asked me what kind of church i go to (presuming i would live there), and i said "i'm unitarian-universalist (uu)." she frowned and said, "is that a church?" i said, "some places of worship are called churches, others are called fellowships. it depends." she was thoroughly perplexed. after working it out in her mind she replied, "well, you can come to my church...we all believe in god, right?" :uhoh3: i was too heartsick to say anything, and i let her ramble on. it continued on...later on, after the interview, i stayed with some friends in birmingham, eating out with a group, and nearly everyone who was introduced to me asked, "where do you go to church?" to say the least, i felt some sort of affront, but all i could think of to say was, "i don't live here." it seemed to satisfy everyone except one, who practically cornered me into stating my religion, and when i did, stated emphatically that i was not going to a real church! :imbar only after the fact did i find out this was a baptist minister. needless to say, i didn't enjoy the welcome.

wow! that is so different from here in california (or the west coast). it sure sounded like "where do you go to church?" is like "what do you do as a living?" kind of question out here (which can be insulting too for people who are not working for paid for whatever reason).

-dan

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I ran into this when I moved to the midsouth 4 years ago from Wisconsin. The first time someone asked me if I'd been saved, my response was "from what?" I had no clue what they were asking. I try very very hard to avoid discussions of religion. Especially here. So.............I ignore the question. Until I can't anymore and then I just tell people I don't discuss religion. I won't even discuss it with the hospital chaplain when he comes through pushing the religious literature. It's bad enough every meeting at the hospital is lead with prayer.

It's just over the top and in your face here, and I have never adjusted to it.

I, too, relocated to the southeast from NYC, and have had that question asked of me many times. It took awhile to get used to the "in your face" way in which the question is posed, as if daring you to respond in any way other than "yes". I am very reluctant to answer that question because of the predominantly evangelical population here in the "Bible Belt. However, if pushed, I tell them that I am of another faith. Usually, I get a puzzled look from the person asking the question. They practically run away, when I tell them that I am a Buddhist. There is not much tolerance for any other faiths down here, but occasionally, I do meet people with open minds. I shudder to think of our current congress, white house, and senate, where the majority are to the religious right. I pray for more tolerance all around.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I was gonna stay out of this, but this is my main issue with the whole "are you saved" issue. And danu, just want you to know I'm not trying to attack you here,

No problem. I myself is learning a lot in this disucssion.

this is something that comes up all the time, in every profession, in every part of the world. How I treat anyone speaks nothing about my faith or lack thereof or whatever. Jesus said to be a nice person (among other things, I know). But whether or not someone treats others with kindness has absolutely no relationship to what religion someone professes to practice.

That probably depends if the person is a "cultural" Christian, "cultural" Jew, "cultural" Muslim... etc or someone where their faith plays a significant role in their life. For people whose faith plays a significant role, their behavior and their faith are highly connected. Take the "Are you save" question for instant, that is part of a particular Christian theology which fuel this kind of behavior. Take the political religious right, their behavior is base again on a particular Christian theology (just as the Christian left). How I treat another person also depends on my religious conviction and it just so happened that my particular theological understand does not encourage me to ask people left and right "are you save?".

You brought up another interesting point, that is the relationship between one's faith and one's behaviors. For some, there are really no connection and for others it has a huge connection.

I do, however, agree for example, if someone is treating you with compassion, you can't really tell if that person is a Christian or an atheist.

-Dan

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

I find it rather fascinating to read the various post on this thread because I had no idea so many healthcare workers thought about or really had so much to say about religion. :uhoh21:

Why do some healthcare workers feel offended when a patient ask about your chosen faith? If you are proud to have no faith, say so. If you are proud to be part of a certain faith, own it. What makes this topic get people all riled up?

I ask in honesty, and NOT putting anyone down or to offend anyone. I just never thought so much about this topic as most of you seem to have based on what is written in each post.

Thanks for sharing. And again......I'm curious.....not intended to offend anyone. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment