Quitting? Bummed out. :o

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Looks like I'm soon to be an ex-nursing student. :o

My husband and I have been hashing things out on the phone. He lives 2 hours away because of his job, and I and my two sons live in my hometown (near my parents and grandparents). My husband is depressed and financially strapped because of our situation, and is telling me that I either must move over there with him or we need to get a divorce.

Of course I've been in tears over the whole decision. Leaving the school I love, the classmates I've befriended, and the chance to graduate 1-2 years earlier to move cross-state and have to re-apply, etc?

I guess maybe it shouldn't be such a tough decision, but I'm really having a hard time with it.

This gripe may have no place on this public bulletin board, but I just needed to vent and couldn't seem to find a friend... Thanks for reading. :)

Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.

(((Manna)))) I'm so sorry this is dumped on you right before school starts. What an awful way to begin the semester.

I'm glad you are going to do the fall semester though. I don't think your husband (nor mine either, for that matter, part of the reason I'm probably divorcing) understands the sacrifices YOU had to make also. Nursing school is NOT a walk in the park. There was an article in the daily paper around here recently, talking about the extreme difficulties of getting into nursing school. I cut it out, and have shown it to him and a few others who think you just "sign up and change a few bedpans to get your RN".

Now is the time to take charge of your own life. You MUST do this now, because later may well be too late. I hope and pray that everything works out in a positive way for you, however that may be. You certainly deserve the best.

ok so the issue isn't what your husband wants, its what you want for your FUTURE. If you really want this marriage to work even if your husband is not willingly to meet you halfway with the separation anymore, then you have to decide what you want more, to keep your future with him or stay at your present school. If you can get accepted at a school near him then I'd say go for it, you marriage is more important than school mates, however if this is a rocky marriage anyway (sounds as if it may be with the divorce threat) then you need to weigh this move carefully. Are there other ongoing issues that aren't resolved between you? How are you going to handle day to day living together again after almost a year apart? family supports will be minimal if you move the 2 hours away. What will your financial situation be? WHY IS HE SO READY FOR A DIVORCE! (this is a huge red flag that something else may be going on) If you want to make this marriage work no matter what, then move back with him, if you aren't sure it would work anyway then I'd say you need to drive down and have a face to face discussion and hash out all the issues that are going to come up. good luck and take your time with what you decide.

Specializes in Urgent Care.

I wish nothing but the best for you. I pray everything turns out for the best for you and your family.

Thanks again. That's what I was thinking - I actually do have 2 years left, but I can handle a short term sacrifice for a long term goal. Any of you who wouldn't be offended, I'd surely appreciate you sending any prayers or positive thoughts this way about this whole mess...

:)

Prayer sent to you :)

two teenagers all I can say is that your husband is really pissing me off...:angryfire

Life, love, marriage is all about compromise. Your husbands short sighted goal of getting "HIS FAMILY" back is just that, short sighted. Guys like him give the rest of us a bad name. I hate that word controlling.:angryfire

OK I feel better now...

Anyway, perhaps moving half way, 1 hour for you 1 hour for him...

Perhaps, a pacifier for him so he can stop crying...sorry there I go again...

OK serioussly, I am glad you are giving the semester a chance. Life changes so fast and frequently that you may never get this opportunity again if you don't take it now. Wouldn't that stink?...

Being dependant on each other is a good thing, don't let your husbands "issues" turn it into a bad thing. Nursing school will fly by and afterwards you guys will have many happy years together enjoying the financial benefits of both of you working. And you wil be happier because you are living your dream.

Now, if you can not convince your husband that this is what "YOU" want and now need "HIS" support...well perhaps the decision to stay put in your hometown isn't that hard to make after all.

Good luck my friend...and prayers at ya :)

Life does not get easier, with each passing year there are more and more complexities, especially if you have kids. Right now you may be stressing about how to pay for day care, later it will be other things like how to afford those school fees or that new trumpet or whatever the financial crisis of the moment is. My wise father, god bless him, always used to say 'Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems." And this is a man that fathered 6 children, loved us and knew what he was talking about.

I have learned that 'carpe diem' is really what it's all about. Because if you married to someone that TRULY loves you, the rest will work itself out. You have busted your behind to get into this program, things are rolling along, you have scholarships for heaven's sakes...this should be a clue that this is meant to be for you.

Maybe he is stressed, well...you are too. Pulling all-nighters to study when the kids are finally in bed is no picnic. I'm sure you would like to have him be with you, but it seems he also made a choice to get a job 2 hours away. If you let him force you into quitting school, do you think you may have a LOT of resentment about it in the future that will end up tainting your relationship anyway? I would guess yes.

I say, go for it. You have a year or so left, then you have a lifetime to reap the rewards of your hard labor. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and these kinds of decisions are the type that define you as a person for the rest of your life.

Manna... I hope things work out and you can stay in school.... As a past MUW student, I know how very well respected that program is, and I hate to see you miss out on this chance...

Good Luck

Manna, {{{{Hugs}}}}}

I am so sorry that you are being put in this awful situation. It's so unfair to have to be put in an ultimatum, choosing one over the other. I will pray for you and that you will be able to find comfort and solace in whatever decision you make. Good luck to you....

Manna,

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today and hoped that your situation is better.

/hugs

Sorry for the late update, but thanks for all the kind words and input. :)

On lunch break from lecture right now. Turns out I'll be staying here at least until the end of the semester, and hubby seems okay with that. We'll deal with next semester when it gets a little closer in. What a relief - one less thing to stress about (for now, at least). :)

Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.

Good for you, Manna. I hope things work themselves out for you by next semester. :)

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Good luck. Hopefully some kind of compromise or agreement can be made that makes everyone happy with the sacrifices that must be made. :)

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