Specializes in Trauma acute surgery, surgical ICU, PACU.
The nurse is also there to take care of all family members at the bedside, and will run a family Blood Pressure clinic and assess and treat all the aches and pains suffered by the family members....
Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.
I always loved the people that would call from home, and ask to speak to "Mom" then get bent out of shape when you had to ask what Mom's name is.
Sorry, i never took a course mind-reading.
Actually, there is a computer chip you can have implanted. Didn't you know? For an extra charge, you can have it upgraded with the highly sensitive physician mind-reading chip. It comes with a free hand-writing decoder.
Actually, there is a computer chip you can have implanted. Didn't you know? For an extra charge, you can have it upgraded with the highly sensitive physician mind-reading chip. It comes with a free hand-writing decoder.
I like this one- my-brother, sister, cousin, wife, husband, etc- wants off that hard board and says that thing around their neck is too tight, talking about the long spine board and c-collar. yeah and I just explained to you and your mom and the pt and the preacher- I CAN"T just take it off. It doesn't matter that the pt was in a car vs tree and has a major head injury ? okay I will just take it off so you can be comfortable... Yeah right.let me get the doc.
Another is will you just sit with my 3 year old while I run to Wal-mart I need to pick up some groceries and other stuff and I know you don't have anymore pt to take care of, yes, I know..it's only gonna be a minute.
If you call the ER and ask I will tellyou everything about a patient on 3rd floor because I KNOW EVERYTHING about all the patients in the ENTIRE hospital. What is HIPPA?
"How does that thing measure oxygen? Can you check mine and my 6 kids, not to mention dad here has high BP can you check his while you are here? Can you check mine for fun?" SURE!! I have NOTHING BETTER TO DO
You haven't been in the pt's room for the last 25 min as you do have 6 other pts to tend to. Family "MY GOD THERE HASN"T BEEN A NURSE IN HERE ALL DAY!"
"My poor father hasn't had a bowel movement since yesterday!"
"Do you know how to work that thing?"
"Do you mind changing the garbages and mopping the floor over there?"
"Can you send me home with a years supply of morphine and throw in some gravol so I don't have to run to the pharmacy"
"What do you mean I have to drink more? I'll have to get out of bed to use the bathroom during the night!"
"I'm a nurse you know" (might be an aid)
"I work here" (SO!)
"You know, you have to turn my father every two hours because if you don't then he could end up with a wound" REALLY????
When you check a pt's vitals and the the pt's family in the opposite bed yells out "well, aren't you going to check her vitals too?" NO, I just did 2 hours ago and she's fine while your other pt is on q 1 hour V/S
Nurse to chronic hemodialysis pt of several years:
"I have your Epogen here."
Pt: "What 's that?"
That's not even funny! I'm a 10-year hemo patient, and I cannot believe how many long-term dialysis patients not only don't know anything about their treatments, they don't WANT to know anything!
It's a real shame that there isn't a minimum requirement of dialysis knowledge for patients, like required reading or quizzes or something. It stands to reason that people who don't understand the reasons behind fluid, dietary and treatment compliance won't follow them, and trying to dialyze these people is a losing battle.
Here's one I used to be guilty of: If I get cramps the last hour of my treatment, I can avoid them if I just come off the machine one hour early! (Thankfully, my nurses explained that the cramps will just come one hour earlier since the machine now has to pull harder in the time remaining... alas, no easy way out!)
We all know about 'dialysis dementia'... I think there's such a thing as 'dialysis nurse dementia' from dealing with wing-nut patients! :)
MedicalZebra
(An ex wing-nut)
MedicalZebra,
You are so right- so many hemo pts don't want to know anything about their tx. Last week, I watched another hemo pt of several years down a hamburger, fries, and XL coke on tx. I asked her if she'd taken her phosphorous binders with her meal. She said "taken my what?"
Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.
I had a patient who made a big deal out of the fact that her son was a DOCTOR. "You can just talk to him, he's a doctor" I got this funny feeling he wasn't all he was cracked up to be because he kept giving me these blank stares while I was talking to him. Heck, he was a DOCTOR, I didn't feel like I had to dumb things down like I usually do. Anyway, after 2 days of "does my son, the DOCTOR know about this?" "You should ask my son, he's a DOCTOR" we find out that he is a DOCTOR of PHILOSOPHY. I can't believe he didn't have the guts to tell us...his sister from out of town did. Butthead.
No, no, please, LEAVE that lint and dirt from years past in your bellybutton, we love to use Q-tips to fish that chunk out before we Duraprep you for your surgery.
No, no, please, LEAVE that lint and dirt from years past in your bellybutton, we love to use Q-tips to fish that chunk out before we Duraprep you for your surgery.
I have a few:
1) I can't afford those antibiotics. Can you give me any to take home? ( Pt smokes, is obese and a diabetic). She sure can find the money for those cigarettes and junk food.
2) 40 year old woman who is admitted for pneumonia and COPD asks to sign a "Waiver" so she can walk off the floor to go and smoke ( one of my personal favorites)
3)Large family wants coffee (8) then asks for ice cream for their children ( I forgot that we are a restaurant too).
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pebbles, BSN, RN
490 Posts
The nurse is also there to take care of all family members at the bedside, and will run a family Blood Pressure clinic and assess and treat all the aches and pains suffered by the family members....