Public Misconceptions

1) There will never be any pain after surgery/trauma/old age.

Even if we have to put you in respiratory arrest to do it..

3) Death can be avoided if you have the right hospital, Doctor, nurses, meds, etc

4)CPR is 100% effective. Even if you are 95 and demented, have copd, chf etc. They do it on "ER" all the time.

4) if either of the above are not true, it must be someones fault, you can sue them and retire to the Bahamas.

Any more you can think of?

-Technology is always a good thing. So sure, I'll go ahead and schedule that bilateral knee replacement for my 85 year old mom who weighs 300 pounds and has such severe emphysema that she can't walk more than 10 feet without crippling dyspnea!

-The Doctor is the boss of nurses. If I didn't like the way that nurse looked at me last night when I refused to perform my incentive spirometry, I'll just tell my doc during his 5 minute visit with me, and he'll fix her wagon!

-Nurses have the ability to be in 4 places at once. So there's never a good reason for me to have to wait more than 2 minutes for anything, ever. :chuckle

-You go to the hospital to be waited on...if your nurse bends your straw and fluffs your pillow, you will get better faster.

-Nurses are also there to wait on family...they will be happy to run to the cafeteria for your wife or change your baby grandson's diaper.

-RNs in small rural hospitals have all sorts of extra time...LPNs and CNAs are not nearly as capable of helping you to the bathroom or cleaning your dentures as the RNs are.

1) With 1:1 nursing care, patients won't have a stroke or other complication

2) A monitored post-op patient should not have a six minute wait between onset of stroke symptoms and medical attention - and see 1)

3) Paying out of your own pocket for a private duty nurse while an inpatient at a tertiary-level hospital will prevent your mother's condition from deteriorating, even though she has multiorgan failure

4) ICU can fix anything

Corollary - failure to transfer a sick patient (like, say, that in rule 3, for example) to ICU is therefore a deliberate and cruel act which, if she dies, will be a cause of action in a law suit

Oh, I have another (unrelated) - nurses are grateful for any little thing. Please offer them your half-finished sandwich or yoghurt. If the nurse demures, reassure her that it's alright dear, you've finished with it, really. Do not allow the fact that you're wholly oriented and (apparently) not mentally impaired to in any way affect your behaviour :uhoh21:

8am rounds - My doctor was just here and he said I could go home today. I want to leave now.

Never mind that there are still labs to be drawn and read, before the patient can go home, or that the team hasn't finished rounds and put the orders in.

Actually any phrase that starts with "My doctor said...." is usually suspect.

ALL hospitals can be referred to as ___(insert name of your hospital here) ___ Hilton or Sheridan because nurses are there to see to your every need even if there is someone else who might be in more need of the nurse's attention (i.e. someone in resp distress).

or the fact that the general public believes we make fantastic money when really we are underpaid and short staffed.----

or the lady that you have to actually tell that "this is not a hotel its a hospital and you roomate is allowed to use this bathroom and watch tv and

have company"

Hi, my doctor told me to come to the Emergency Department and he'd meet me here...

My pain is starting to go away (Even though the Morphine you are pushing hasn't even gone through the IV yet)

Your wait time should be less that 30 seconds...

I was just here yesterday what do you mean I have to do this all over again...

Its all in my records, just look there..(cause in triage I keep everyones records with me)

Nurses still wear caps and all white...

Males are doctors and Females are nurses...even if they are pushing the mop...

Everything that hurts needs to be XRay'd...

Our tylenol is stronger...

If it hurt them for the last two years, we will find out what the problem is tonight...

If you come in by ambulance you get treated faster...

The ER has a full service restaurant...24 HOURS A DAY...

They shouldn't have to get undressed to be evaluated...

My neighbor's doctor gives her Morphine for her headache, it's the same kind of headache so why do I only get Motrin?

My best friend had stomach pain and her's was appendicitis, I have the "SAME EXACT" pain!

ALL yellow pills are the same drug while all white pills are a different drug. If it is white it is lasix. Regardless of shape or size.

Or how about words and terms?

Is that a blood pressure cup?

I had surgery on my rotating cup.

(My Dad) I take hydrocordones for my headache.

Are you going to pick my finger?

What about how wording is often times chosen? Ever notice if they are talking about their toe, their arm, their head, their foot, their leg it is "the" leg, "the" arm, "the" foot. But if it is a part that their underpants or bra covers it is MY breast, MY member, MY butt. If underclothes don't cover it up it could be anybody's leg since it is "the" leg. If it is a butt it is my butt.

Nurses are not always aware of The Extent of their patient's surgery (why should they?)

I.E. My Dad just had Open Heart Surgery yesterday!! He can't possibly get out of bed! Does the doctor know that you are trying to get him out of bed?

Patients on vents and sedated enjoy having 10 family members standing around their bed saying "How are you feeling?" "I bet you're hungry!" "Dad, DAD wake up. Bobby came all the way from ________ just to see you"

Patients who complain of being cold need 4 or 5 blankets pulled up to their chin. Even if they have a fever of 102. If the nurse comes in and removes the blankets, it's OK to put them back on after she leaves. And, by all means, turn the thermostat up to 85. When the patient has a seizure - it's got to be something the nurse did.

Oh yeah, The visiting hours don't apply to me!! That's my mom in there!

Getting diarrhea from GoLytely is an allergic reaction

All nurses can intuitively lip read trached patients. Tapping loudly on the bedrail is an effective and endearing way of getting the staff's attention. If, for some reason, that doesn't work, simply kick the foot board whenever you see someone walk by.

If the nurses won't give you water, maybe the xray tech or phlebotomist will. Just ask.