Public Misconceptions

The O.R, can fix anything with anyone. We can **** out miracles.

All nurses can intuitively lip read trached patients. Tapping loudly on the bedrail is an effective and endearing way of getting the staff's attention. If, for some reason, that doesn't work, simply kick the foot board whenever you see someone walk by.

Or banging the phone on the rail.

QUOTE = PicklesRN:

(My Dad) I take hydrocordones for my headache.

_________________________________________________________________

LOL, Pickles.

Few years back I worked for a neurosurgical group and I had a patient call for a refill and, I sh*t you not, asked for a refill of her "hydro-COCOA-PUFFS". :chuckle

4) ICU can fix anything

Corollary - failure to transfer a sick patient (like, say, that in rule 3, for example) to ICU is therefore a deliberate and cruel act which, if she dies, will be a cause of action in a law suit

Sigh - which is why she's been readmitted this very evening. Sigh.

If a pt gets coffee instead of tea on his dinner tray, it's the nurse's fault, and it is perfectly acceptable for the pt to express his displeasure by throwing his tray at the nurse.

And I want to take this moment to set forth fab4fan's following theory about pts.:

The amount of nursing care required by a pt is inversely proportional to how critically ill said pt is.

Nurses know EVERYTHING.

Oh yeah, The visiting hours don't apply to me!! That's my mom in there!

Getting diarrhea from GoLytely is an allergic reaction

We had this whiney woman in the nursing home who had to drink this the night before she went for a colonoscopy. She was hollering from her room and we went in to see she had missed sitting on the bedside commode and was sitting in runny **** that had gone all over the floor. So we had to help her get up, and we were all sliding around in it.

Boy was that nasty. And people wonder why some nurses want out of patient care.

All doctors show up to discuss their patient's care with the SO or family in the morning before visiting hours. Until then, torturing the night nurse for answers will have to do.

The doctor is the one who cures the patient; the nurse just follows his orders.

Corollary: the nurse is the doctor's secretary and will be happy to get your rounding list for you this morning, Dr. Gawd, never mind that you have no patients on our unit.

In any given Code situation, there are six docs to one nurse. Repiratory Therapists don't exist at all and the person intubating the patient of course, is also a doc.

Or how about words and terms?

Is that a blood pressure cup?

I had surgery on my rotating cup.

(My Dad) I take hydrocordones for my headache.

Are you going to pick my finger?

My mom used to keep emma bags for when we were constipated.

1) There will never be any pain after surgery/trauma/old age.

Even if we have to put you in respiratory arrest to do it..

3) Death can be avoided if you have the right hospital, Doctor, nurses, meds, etc

4)CPR is 100% effective. Even if you are 95 and demented, have copd, chf etc. They do it on "ER" all the time.

4) if either of the above are not true, it must be someones fault, you can sue them and retire to the Bahamas.

Any more you can think of?

:chuckle SO TRUE

-You go to the hospital to be waited on...if your nurse bends your straw and fluffs your pillow, you will get better faster.

-Nurses are also there to wait on family...they will be happy to run to the cafeteria for your wife or change your baby grandson's diaper.

-RNs in small rural hospitals have all sorts of extra time...LPNs and CNAs are not nearly as capable of helping you to the bathroom or cleaning your dentures as the RNs are.

:chuckle I LOVE IT, CAUSE IT IS SO TRUE AS WELL