Pt's C/O in the ER (funny)

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What are some funny C/O people have had coming into your triage area? Misspelled words too...

We had a lady come in the other night because she ate raw chicken -Claimed she didn't know it was raw.

Lots of people come in with soar throats.

We also had a mom who tried to spell diarrhea several times on the check in -Finally crossed it out and wrote S**Ts a lot.

Specializes in ER, NICU, NSY and some other stuff.

"Bump behind privy parts" that is what the triage sheet said when the chick checked in at 0500. Wasn't my patient so I didn't get to hear if she found her meatus or felt that first wart erupt.

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If I had a nickle....it was funniest when a former employee came into our ED saying they use to be a nurse there...turns out they had been an escort/transport person, his primary nurse looked him dead in the eye and said, "yep, thats the same thing." :uhoh21:

:chuckle Seriously had a patient's family member claim that they worked in the medical professional. I could overhear this family member asking the RN about the antibiotic scheduling and going on and on and on. Then the family member said in a firm and authoritative voice "I work in a veterinary office!!"....coming to find out this woman was a SECRETARY at an animal hospital :chuckle To this day, we will joke around and say "I work in a veterinary office"(in a sarcastic tone) if we are pretending to be know-it alls!

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"Spotamat Jeeezus" = spinal meningitis

"he fell out" = fainted

Patient "my friend has a mouse inside" -RN "inside what?" - Patient "we were having sex and the mouse can't get out!!!"

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A mouse? wth? A gerbil? Im lost. Man I guess I'm just not kinky enough :(

"Spotamat Jeeezus" = spinal meningitis

"he fell out" = fainted

Patient "my friend has a mouse inside" -RN "inside what?" - Patient "we were having sex and the mouse can't get out!!!"

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Specializes in ED staff.

Most favorite complaint recently was this....

Please remember that I am in ALabama, NOT India...

pt You remember that cobra that got loose in Moody last year?

me Yeah

pt Well I saw this Pakistani guy and he said that the cobra had spit in my face, well either that or I have uranium poisoning, my face is burning and oh yeah, I think it was my neighbor's fault... they took out a huge life insurance poilcy on me...

was all I could do not to laugh at this guy, but I didn't :)

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Most favorite complaint recently was this....

Please remember that I am in ALabama, NOT India...

pt You remember that cobra that got loose in Moody last year?

me Yeah

pt Well I saw this Pakistani guy and he said that the cobra had spit in my face, well either that or I have uranium poisoning, my face is burning and oh yeah, I think it was my neighbor's fault... they took out a huge life insurance poilcy on me...

was all I could do not to laugh at this guy, but I didn't :)

My money's on uranium poisoning!!

hee hee hee

:rotfl:

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And I'm sure that there hasn't been a seasoned ED nurse out there who hasn't heard "There's no way that I could be pregnant!" upon hearing the results of their pg test.

There's no way that I could be pregnant!

a) I'm on birth control

b) We used b/c almost every time

The list goes on and on and on...

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A mouse? wth? A gerbil? Im lost. Man I guess I'm just not kinky enough :(

hehehehe. :D You stole my answer. Mouse? Don't get it either.

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hehehehe. :D You stole my answer. Mouse? Don't get it either.

Yah and here I thought I was a lil kinky too :(

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
Yah and here I thought I was a lil kinky too :(

Im too old to be Kinky

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All those folks who've got bad bronicals... And then there was the women who had fireballs of the eucharist; the gynie told her so years ago, and now it's really bad. And the one who told us she had 'leaves in my virginia'. She was right - she did. She had replaced an old and broken-down pessary with a potato, andit had begun to sprout.

The woman who came running into the ER, wearing nothing but her bra, in the winter, saying, "If I die, my mother will kill me".

The guy who came into the ER by ambulance, with a knife still in his back, who had written a 'confession' on the ambulance trip in that it was self-inflicted so his wife wouldn't 'get in trouble'. Now, just how would you do that? Maybe stick the knife in a door jamb and run backwards like crazy?

Life can be interesting. I miss the ER

Savvy

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Specializes in ICU, ED, Transport, Home Care, Mgmnt.

I had a 15 yo complain that her legs were blue, she was brought in from another hospital by ambulance. She had a full work up at the other place, ultrasound, lab, xrays. They found nothing, so they sent her to us, she insisted. I asked the ususal questions, after looking at her legs, any new jeans(ya know where this is going don't ya!) or bed sheets, no, no nothing like that, oh she feels dizzy and sort of nauseated. I whipped out an alcohol swab and swiped her leg, amazing the blue came off. The doc came in and dc'd her, we had to take her out in a w/c because she was still feeling (?stupid?) weak. I will always remember the guy who called an ambulance to bring him to the ED because he stubbed his toe. And of course the 16yo who was walking naked through the kitchen when she slipped and did the splits, landing on little brothers plastic french fries(McDonalds toy?) And amazingly they went right up her inside her. Of course she couldn't get them out. Her mom swallowed this story hook line and sinker, at least until the nurse confronted her about the probability of that actually happening. Any ever complain of "High Blood" any more? Used to hear that one all the time in the 70's and 80's.

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