Pt's C/O in the ER (funny)

blue chips · Mar 11, 2005

"Bump behind privy parts" that is what the triage sheet said when the chick checked in at 0500. Wasn't my patient so I didn't get to hear if she found her meatus or felt that first wart erupt.

NASTY.

ScarlettRN · Mar 11, 2005

We had a 750# man brought in by EMS on the floor of the ambulance, lifted by a fireman's tarp. Took 6 men to lift the man on to the stretcher. It was the first time I had ever seen a man that heavy. 6 feet tall to boot. Admitted to the floor for SOB. Learned a new term, "Pickwickian Syndrome".

Small hospital I work for, so when the ER is empty, I go to the floor to help out. They had to order a special bed for him, so once in the room, he was standing on his feet for about 45 minutes, with the regular hospital bed turned sideways in the room, pushed up against the wall so he could hold on to the foot board.

Interesting and sad story behind this man. Been kept home since 2nd grade, mother kept him there for the govt check (now age 38) and was pretty verbally abusive. The house didn't have running water, and the man couldn't sit on a toilet, so he would just go to the bathroom on himself, then go outside and hose himself off. About 6 people in the room just to keep the man steady on his feet while we got him cleaned up. He had some skin tears on the back of his thighs and I had the pleasure of cleaning and putting a little bandage on them. I was squatted down behind him, putting a drsg on him when he let a big one. I fell backward out of reflex and the two nurses on either side of him both stepped back as if an invisible rope had pulled them simultaneously. I have never choked down laughter so hard in my life, but we all managed to be professional about it. Amazing what is going on in the world around us that we lucky ER nurses get to glimpse on occasion....

LIFESAVERLINDA · Mar 12, 2005

i work in a huge inner city hospital and we had a guy come into triage,who said he put two GLASS cueballs up the ol poop shoot x 1 month ago. still in their, his complaint was......rectal bleeding and constipation....well no s**t sherlock. what else did he think was gonna happen....GOOD LORD!

missionnurse · Mar 20, 2005

My favorite lately was, "We were at Pizza Inn just now and my daughter ate this pineapple (mom has more pineapple chunks in cup with lid). I think it smells strong. She must be poisoned. She needs to be checked out. And don't htink about putting us over in the Fast Track. She needs to be taken straight back. I'm sure her stomach should be pumped." By the way, the kid was playful and happy and denied pain. Kid said the pineapple was yummy!

And to boot, I love it when people know what the Fast Track is and waht it means about their treatment level.

I live in the Deep South and deal with a lot of Southern accent and uneducated people. So, in my triage note I will often quote the c/o. I get a lot of laughs with my ebonics and bad grammar quotations. I use these only for the crazy people who really have no c/o at all. Who knows why they are there! :nurse:

medicgirl_911 · Mar 20, 2005

OMG I really needed the laughs from this thread tonight!!!!

Before going back to school for nursing I worked as an EMT-Intermediate. In our area when we weren't on calls we helped out in the local ER.

One day we had a younger guy with his girlfriend come in. I took him back to a room and was doing his vitals and getting his history.

His main complaint was testicular pain. OK, slightly emberassing, but I question him about trauma to the area, recent heavy lifitng etc. None of that, so I tell them ok, the doctor will be with you as soon as he can to check you out, and turn to leave the room. As I am walking out the door, the girlfriend pipes up with........And when he comes, it just doesn't taste the same either! :lol_hitti :barf01: I about died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anna57 · Mar 25, 2005

We had a 750# man brought in by EMS on the floor of the ambulance, lifted by a fireman's tarp. Took 6 men to lift the man on to the stretcher. It was the first time I had ever seen a man that heavy. 6 feet tall to boot. Admitted to the floor for SOB. Learned a new term, "Pickwickian Syndrome".
Small hospital I work for, so when the ER is empty, I go to the floor to help out. They had to order a special bed for him, so once in the room, he was standing on his feet for about 45 minutes, with the regular hospital bed turned sideways in the room, pushed up against the wall so he could hold on to the foot board.
Interesting and sad story behind this man. Been kept home since 2nd grade, mother kept him there for the govt check (now age 38) and was pretty verbally abusive. The house didn't have running water, and the man couldn't sit on a toilet, so he would just go to the bathroom on himself, then go outside and hose himself off. About 6 people in the room just to keep the man steady on his feet while we got him cleaned up. He had some skin tears on the back of his thighs and I had the pleasure of cleaning and putting a little bandage on them. I was squatted down behind him, putting a drsg on him when he let a big one. I fell backward out of reflex and the two nurses on either side of him both stepped back as if an invisible rope had pulled them simultaneously. I have never choked down laughter so hard in my life, but we all managed to be professional about it. Amazing what is going on in the world around us that we lucky ER nurses get to glimpse on occasion....

OMG......... I AM LMAO!!!!!!!!! :rotfl: house is quiet and I am cackling out loud!!!!

Anna57 · Mar 25, 2005

OMG I really needed the laughs from this thread tonight!!!!
Before going back to school for nursing I worked as an EMT-Intermediate. In our area when we weren't on calls we helped out in the local ER.
One day we had a younger guy with his girlfriend come in. I took him back to a room and was doing his vitals and getting his history.
His main complaint was testicular pain. OK, slightly emberassing, but I question him about trauma to the area, recent heavy lifitng etc. None of that, so I tell them ok, the doctor will be with you as soon as he can to check you out, and turn to leave the room. As I am walking out the door, the girlfriend pipes up with........And when he comes, it just doesn't taste the same either! :lol_hitti :barf01: I about died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:beercuphe GROSS!!!!!!