Published
With the latest killing of little Christopher in Georgia, I have really been wondering about this. This has upset me so much I can't hardly stand it.
How do you feel about providing medical care to a child molester? I know if they were a patient, we are obligated to provide the care, how would you get past your personal feelings? Just go in and do what you have to? What if they wanted to talk and you didn't want to talk to them?
This is very personal as it has happened in my own family, without a death being involved, but none the less, very, very difficult to deal with. After my sons and I going through 3 years of therapy, I still cannot get past what happened.
Blessings to all.
There is a special place in Haiti's for child molesters. What blows me away is that even with iron clad proof that they committed a crime, some of the judges who judge these people feel that because they had such a horrible childhood that it really wasn't their fault and really need a good therapist. I always remember that whenever these judges are up for re-election. I once went to a seminar that taught us the best way to get some action going and educate the public in becoming knowledgeable about the system and bills before their state legislatures and Congress is by friends planting themselves on opposite ends of a public transportation vehicle, restaurants, coffee shops, one friend in the front and the other one in the back and pretend to just suddenly see each other and say hi to each other and ask across how things are going and then start with "Oh by the way did you hear yada, yada about this bill and how it's going in the state legislature and how our representives are voting on it??" By this time you have the attention of alot of people and it get's them to thinking and talking about the subject and the next thing you know people are writing/emailing their representives in both state legislatures and Congress about certain bills. I understand that is how some bills get passed...
While I agree with you, I also think that sometimes due to our personal experiences and trials that it's just not that black and white. Thank God, I have never had to take care of a pedophile or rapist but to be honest I don't know how I would reacte if I had to. Probably I would just go on autopilot while taking care of him/her and biting my tongue in two. Hey I'm not perfect. Please don't think I'm being argumenative with you or anyone, just giving another point of view.
I agree, it's not that cut and dry either. Sometimes we have to respect the feelings of our coworkers. If someone had a child molested I wouldn't question for one second if they asked not to take care of a child molestor.
I covered for a coworker on a liver failure patient right after her mother just died of liver failure recently. She said she just couldn't handle it at that time, although she knew she would have to eventually.
We have to look after each other without judgement the same we do with our patients. If a nurse can't handle a patient, we should allow that, within reason.
You know those lovable little children that are horribly abused and sexually molested? A percentage of them will grow up to be predators themselves. So before passing judgement on people, try to consider where they have been. If we can have compassion for the victims, let us also consider that they are deserving of compassion when they were denied therapy or were so horribly abused that becoming an abuser was almost predictable in some cases. It's hard for me to understand how we can embrace these innocent children and then shun them when they are adults because of how they act out as a direct result of being abused themselves.
This is not to imply that all victims become abusers, but please consider the population...most of them were abused too. It is a sickness. They are shunned and disenfranchised from society. Do you suppose you are making the world a better place by furthering their disenfranchisement and isolation?
Also, I was molested and raped as a child from the age of 5-12. I understand the rage. But I also understand the cycle. Refusing care may make you feel morally superior, but it does very little else. For the women and men who have been past victims, it makes sense that they could ask a co-worker to take over the patient's care due to personal feelings and an inability to provide quality care. For those who have not had personal experience, I would challenge you to look at these child molesters in this light:
There is a high likelihood that they were innocent victims at one point themselves. Feeling like a monster makes them withdraw and retreat back in to their dysfunction, please don't encourage that kind of response.
Finally, how many child molesters, baby rapists, child abusers have you taken care of that you weren't even aware of? Probably a few. It can't hurt to provide quality compassionate care, but it sure could hurt to treat them like the scourge of the earth. It could hurt their next victim in more ways than we'd like to imagine. Please don't make matters worse.
Adri
Care for them like i do every else, and keep my personal feelings to myself.
I completely agree. I am a nurse there to provide care. I wouldn't be disrespectful or mean. Just all business. I deffinately don't want to know what they were in for. If they decide to tell me I would politely end the converstation.
I wonder how the nurses in Upper Mi felt about taking care of Stephen Grant. This man dismembered his wife and spread her body parts through a park and fled from the police once they were on to him. I think I would have been a competent nurse to him and nothing more. I wouldn't deny him the medical care he needed for the frostbite he had but I sure wouldn't have talked to him unless I had to and I think I would have stayed out of his room as much as possible.
You know those lovable little children that are horribly abused and sexually molested? A percentage of them will grow up to be predators themselves. So before passing judgement on people, try to consider where they have been. If we can have compassion for the victims, let us also consider that they are deserving of compassion when they were denied therapy or were so horribly abused that becoming an abuser was almost predictable in some cases. It's hard for me to understand how we can embrace these innocent children and then shun them when they are adults because of how they act out as a direct result of being abused themselves.This is not to imply that all victims become abusers, but please consider the population...most of them were abused too. It is a sickness. They are shunned and disenfranchised from society. Do you suppose you are making the world a better place by furthering their disenfranchisement and isolation?
Also, I was molested and raped as a child from the age of 5-12. I understand the rage. But I also understand the cycle. Refusing care may make you feel morally superior, but it does very little else. For the women and men who have been past victims, it makes sense that they could ask a co-worker to take over the patient's care due to personal feelings and an inability to provide quality care. For those who have not had personal experience, I would challenge you to look at these child molesters in this light:
There is a high likelihood that they were innocent victims at one point themselves. Feeling like a monster makes them withdraw and retreat back in to their dysfunction, please don't encourage that kind of response.
Finally, how many child molesters, baby rapists, child abusers have you taken care of that you weren't even aware of? Probably a few. It can't hurt to provide quality compassionate care, but it sure could hurt to treat them like the scourge of the earth. It could hurt their next victim in more ways than we'd like to imagine. Please don't make matters worse.
Adri
ABSOLUTELY
The cycle of violence can only be stopped with love and compassion.
a] they are sick and paying for their crime
b] they may be innocent..not all accused are quilty..
c] even the worse cannot be left to die..
d] if yo simply cannot talk it over with another nurse, they may not be able to handle it either but they may be able to put this aside and and provide care
I once worked as a traveler at a level I ED in CA that had the prison/jail contracts. One thing that I learned fast was not to ask questions...........
Soon enough I understood after caring for so many prisoners, I really didn't care what they were incarcerated for, I was there to provide medical care.
yes it felt weird, but I provided the same care to a prisoner as I would do to a non prisoner.
ZASHAGALKA, RN
3,322 Posts
Whoa, there!
I completely disagree with the comparison. Pharmacists that refuse to do that are not passing judgement on those that want those meds. They are refusing to be complicit with behavior they consider immoral. It's not their patient's actions that concern them, but their OWN in the furtherance of what they perceive as a moral issue.
That has NOTHING to do with providing care to a criminal. Providing that care is NOT being complicit with the criminal act.
The moral comparison would be pharmacists that handed out condoms so that molesters could have 'safe sex'. Yes, yes, bc pills are LEGAL and molestation is not. However, we are not talking about illegalities, but immoralities.
Few people here are advocating not providing care to all criminals. Shoot, if THAT were the case, technically speaking, everybody ever pulled over for speeding has been a 'criminal' at some point. No, the issue isn't legality, but the gross immorality involved.
Besides, there are OTHER, albeit, older threads to discuss THAT topic.
https://allnurses.com/forums/f195/refusing-care-based-conscience-109178.html?highlight
https://allnurses.com/forums/f8/right-refuse-what-basis-114267-6.html
~faith,
Timothy.