I am needing some advise on this. Sorry but this is going to be long.
When I was 7 I was molested and abused for about a year. He said I would be in trouble if I ever told, which is why it went on for so long. I was afraid and never told anyone, until I told my friend during a sleep over. She knew what was happening and told her mom, whom in turn told my mother. When my mother found out, she of course had him arrested.
We moved to FL after that. I finished school and went on the become a nurse there. My husband and I moved our little family of 4 back to Arkansas to be closer to some of my family. I am a nurse at a local family clinic while studying to get my RN. Last year this man that I put in jail for 9 years started coming to my clinic. I bumped into him in the hallway and immediately went to my office manager to inform her of the situation. I have been working for them for 2 years now and have seen my Dr fire people that he no longer wants to treat for various reasons. My office manager informs me that since he doesn't see my Dr and I am not his nurse that it isn't a good enough reason to fire him. They put a note in his chart to never schedule him with my Dr. He isn't aloud on my side of the building. He has ended up on our schedule twice now and moved to the other Dr schedule. He sits in the same lobby my patients sit in and walks the same hall.. Usually when he is there, I try to get someone else, if anyone is available, to get my patients so I don't have to see him or he see me. He has come in several times over the last year. It has gone to him just glancing at me, to smiling at me, and now trying to joke and wave at me. He came in this past Thursday with a leg injury and was placed in the shot waiting area(very small side room with a few chairs). I had a patient in there and that's where we give our allergy injections. We were short a nurse on this day and very very busy. I can't just hide behind my desk and wait for him to leave so that I can do my job. I had patients waiting. My patient that was in the shot waiting area was there for a physical for work. He needed an eye exam. We use the Snellen chart that is on the wall in that room. While giving him his eye exam, my abuser sat, who was sitting beside my patient, persistently smiled at me. He made the comment that he should move his leg so that no one tripped on it, my patient joking said "you never know, someone may kick or stomp on it." And the abuser looked at me and smiled and said "Yeah and she would probably be the first to kick it" while laughing. I said in a rude voice "You are right" and took my patient to his room away from that man.
I felt very uncomfortable, and feel like he is just taunting me. When I informed my boss that he had spoken to me, she just said I should have had someone else get my patients while he was there. I don't feel comfortable or safe at my current place of employment and don't really feel like my boss cares. I had nightmares about this man for years and I have started having them again. I don't like feeling so vulnerable.
Should they even be allowing him there? I understand that once I get my RN and work in the ER I will have patients that I don't like, but do I have to deal with this man?
We recently made an accepted offer on our first home and are due to close at the end of the month. As soon as we close I have decided to start actively looking for other employment. I am going to look at other clinics, our hospital (that doesn't hire many LPNs), and the nursing homes. Until then, what can I do? It took all that I had not to be extremely unprofessional in front of my patients to this man when all I really wanted to do was stomp his leg and to beat him with his own crutch.
I don't know if it will resolve, however my heart doesn't palpitate or I look like I seen a ghost (something my sister said when someone who was my cashier during Christmas time was ringing up my items had me seeing red, headache and feeling fuzzy) when I do see someone or if somebody reminds me of my ex lately.
I was going to get a Glock before I got shot-gun permit was ready and all...
For what it's worth, I do believe that the OP should pursue whatever legal avenues as much as possible, however, working on the trauma will have better lasting effects-solution based therapy and EDMR (which I have been in for about 2 years) and trauma psychiatry come to mind; those new coping mechanisms help and could have a better lasting impact; she could look her ex-abuser in the eye and engage with him with no fear and not allow him to have control over her life-which to me is more beneficial and more empowering in addition with the legal armory.
Yes! Look him straight in the eye.. laugh and tell him he has a little wee-wee!
I don't know enough about this waste of skin to be comfortable offering any advice, but there are generally different types of child molesters, and they don't all respond to being confronted well. For instance, people with antisocial behavior abuse others because they want to be in control, and they will abuse almost anyone that they can manipulate. Depending on the severity of the impairment in their conscience, they may respond badly to things that feel like you're trying to control them. So, if this person has a history of physical violence I'd just get out. There's no getting one over on a sociopath, because they view confrontation as a struggle to fight against. BUT, I'm not diagnosing anyone, and this may not apply. Insert standard disclaimer here.
He knows exactly what he's doing and he's enjoying the game of making you uncomfortable. I would get a restraining order, notify your boss of this fact and consult with a lawyer as to what to do next. This could fall under the heading of hostile work place and that's what you need to speak to the lawyer about.
Specializes in Infection Prevention, Public Health.
Is your town so small that your office is the ONLY medical provider in town? If there are other medical providers, I believe your employer owes you the decency of transferring your abuser's care to a different practice. They probably are worried about legalities of abandonment of a patient. I am not offering legal advice, but I do not believe patients have a god-given right to be a patient of Dr. XYZ if another provider is available.
I would bet money that the entire staff in your clinic are very aware of the situation. I'm surprised they haven't been more supportive. Shame on them.
I think your abuser is testing his limits. It is time for your employer to make it clear that health care in your clinic is NOT happening. If they will not do that, then I believe you need to leave. I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Seems like this guy is visiting the doctor often - what the heck for? It almost seems like he's found you and is making up reasons to see you. Absolutely ridiculous that you should have to put up with that. Sounds like harassment from what you describe.
I don't care that he's been to prison, he doesn't get to go back into your life and make it a living hell a second time.
I'd file a restraining order and get this a-hole back behind bars where he belongs. If he's stalking and harassing you years after he's been to prison, that shows you are not out of his mind. I'd be worried about my safety. This creep will do anything.
I'd go to the police or maybe even move away. I'd hate to move away, but I'd be thinking about my safety and my family's safety.
Sorry you had to go through that and that you're still not rid of him. It's not acceptable - you shouldn't have to put up with that. Seems like a job for the police - not your boss though. They've done as much as they can I think.
Thank you all so much for your comments! I didn't know what to expect when I posted my question but I am grateful for all of your responses.
This man was a patient at my clinic several years ago (before I moved back). But he was incarcerated again and hadn't been to the clinic in 6+ years. I had looked in our system to make sure he wasn't a patient there when I first started, but since it had been so long he didn't show up because it was in archive and not in the new computer charting. Since starting to come to the clinic a year ago, he has come in maybe 10-11 times. At first he didn't do anything but glance at me when I called my patients, then he was steadily looking, and now he smiles at me. Last week was the first time he had spoken towards me. Yes, he is listed, and no I am pretty sure it isn't commonly known that he is a child molester unless they have looked him up. I did try to tell my boss that he was smiling at me with this look on his face and that he had joked towards me, but all she said is that I should have had someone else get my patients. The abuser's Dr does know why he is the only one who is aloud to see this patient and why he isn't aloud on my end of the building. But the clinic isn't large, and it doesn't put that much space between us. I do have mace. I will be getting gun and I am a very good shot. There is no HR at my clinic. There is a Dr and a PA on one end and a Dr and a PA on the other end. The office manager is in the middle of the building. And there isn't much managing going on honestly. I can say that because I have been in management and there are a lot of things that should be done differently at my clinic. But I look at this job as my temp job. I planned on just sticking it out while I am going to school to get my RN. BUT I will be relocating jobs. Very soon. There is a hospital in about 20 minutes from where my new house will be (in another county) that still hires LPNs that I will be looking into.
I will be talking to the local PD about a restraining order. I am just hoping that it doesn't piss him off and give him more motive to harass me. I understand that there is a potential of coming in contact with him anywhere I work, but I don't feel as though I should have to put up with this kind of behavior. No one at my clinic will say anything to him for acting this way. Honestly it will be hard for me not to if he keeps smiling at me and looking at me the way he does. I just worry about that making him want to harass me more. I have 2 small children to worry about now and I don't want this ever reaching them. Ever.
Again, thank you all for your responses and encouragement.
I assume this person is a registered sex offender.
Are they under supervision of the state?
Is there a stipulation of no contact with victims?
They may be violating their release even if they timed out.
Seems like a job for the police - not your boss though. They've done as much as they can I think.
I couldn't disagree more. Her employer hasn't done crap.
I assume this person is a registered sex offender.
That's not a safe assumption. Sex offender registry is fairly new (give or take 20 years) in most states. Depending on OP's age, that status may not even have existed when her abuser was convicted.
The OP should make an appointment to talk with the Chief of the police and provide any supporting documentation. Report that he stares at you in a threatening manner at your place of work but be very careful that you do not disclose any protected health information. This will alert law enforcement to investigate this individual and monitor his actions. They will pay him a visit, set some expectations, and have him register as a sex offender.
At work I would refuse to be in the same room as this individual. I agree with carrying a gun, pepper spray and a stun gun.
I couldn't disagree more. Her employer hasn't done crap.
That's not a safe assumption. Sex offender registry is fairly new (give or take 20 years) in most states. Depending on OP's age, that status may not even have existed when her abuser was convicted.
If I'm getting the right gist of this, it sounds like she's being stalked and harassed by a sex offender. Seems like a matter for the police.
Without a restraining order I don't think they could ask him to leave. Nothing has happened on their property. They tried re-scheduling so they're not in the building at the same time or in the same area. To get him out of the building and away from the OP, the police have to be involved at some point.
That's all guesswork - I know I could be wrong. Maybe there is more the employer can do, I've never been in this situation. But without him actually breaking the law on their property I don't think they can do much. Now if there was a restraining order - they could call the police and have him taken away.
I couldn't disagree more. Her employer hasn't done crap.
That's not a safe assumption. Sex offender registry is fairly new (give or take 20 years) in most states. Depending on OP's age, that status may not even have existed when her abuser was convicted.
If I'm getting the right gist of this, it sounds like she's being stalked and harassed by a sex offender. Seems like a matter for the police.
Without a restraining order I don't think they could ask him to leave. Nothing has happened on their property. They tried re-scheduling so they're not in the building at the same time or in the same area. To get him out of the building and away from the OP, the police have to be involved at some point.
That's all guesswork - I know I could be wrong. Maybe there is more the employer can do, I've never been in this situation. But without him actually breaking the law on their property I don't think they can do much. Now if there was a restraining order - they could call the police and have him taken away.
A private physician's office isnt mandated to treat a patient like EMTALA mandates ED's. As OP noted, other pts have been "fired" from that very practice.
Been there,done that, ASN, RN
7,241 Posts
Yes! Look him straight in the eye.. laugh and tell him he has a little wee-wee!