Problem with another nurse

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

If she interrupts you, just stop. Say nothing till she's finished. Then just finish report right from where you left off. If you have to put your finger on your sheet at the point she interrupts.

When she grills you about things you've been thorough explaining, you can just point her to the EMR for everything you know is in there.

If she is the type that repeats, "why is this, why is that, why didn't you..." Just give her a big old heavy "you tire me" kind of sigh, but do not speak, don't answer her. If you are done with report and you've given her standard whine time, just walk away (or start picking your nose).

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 29, 2012

theres one nurse in particular that i give report to, who always treats me like im an idiot. she is very nasty to me and grills me every time im talking to her. shes nit-picky and it seems like she expects everything to be done before her shift, so that she doesnt have to do anything on hers. i cant be perfect but this really bothers me. she makes me feel like i do have to be perfect. im still learning, so how do i deal with this? im afraid one day she'll report me even though shes the only one who seems to have a problem with me.

obviously, i don't know either you or your colleague. but i'll just throw this out as food for thought. is it possible that you're a newer nurse and this "nasty nurse" is far more experienced? if this is true, is it possible that she's quizzing you in an effort to help you become a better nurse? maybe asking you this question when you're talking about that to help you see the relationship between the two? and possibly pointing out areas where you need to develop your time management skills? i am by no means saying it's always the case, but i've seen an awful lot of newbies mistake a more experienced nurse's interest in helping them to develop as nurses as "being mean to me" or "nitpicking." `

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

If I had to take a guess, I would say that the other nurse has major issues with control. Moreover, you are allowing her to exercise her need for control by permitting her to constantly interrupt your report and behave in a nasty manner.

Every time she interrupts or grills you, I would respond by saying, "Please don't interrupt me. I don't interrupt you, so don't interrupt me." If she continues to interrupt, repeat the statement like a parrot.

She'll eventually get the idea that you are not a doormat. However, I'm assured that she currently views you as an easy target for being picked on because you probably have not responded in a defensive manner to her verbal quips. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this person.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

Ruby, I think you don't understand that there are few nurses left who actually try to teach/mentor. You just might be the only one left!!!!!

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

Life is too short and too hard to consider every little slight, every little sigh, every little raised voice as an insult.

Try looking at the nurse you don't like or who you think doesn't like you, as someone who is simply looking out for your best interest. Who has your back. Who just wants you to succeed more than anything. Who questions and interrupts to make

you a better nurse.

It's a Pollyanna view, but Pollyanna was one smart cookie.

fiveofpeep · Jan 30, 2012

To the OP,

My favorite line for this is "nursing is a 24-hr job," and also, interrupting is very unsafe and you should let her know this. Studies have shown that most sentinel events are due to communication failures, which is why report-giving is such an important thing and should not be interrupted.

dutches2007 · Jan 30, 2012

In as much as you do all these said, I will suggest you pray over her in your closet. Prayer moves mountains and does what is humanly impossible. Bear in mind that even if she gets out of your way, another challenge will always present itself. Thus, prayer is the best means to calm waters or move mountains. I pray the peace of God will guard your heart in your career. Difficult co-workers are every where.

nelcoy4 · Jan 30, 2012

One thing I had to learn to do is learn every RN's style of report on my unit and let them know my style. We do written report, but we also do a quick verbal to make sure the next shift RN understands. There is 1 RN on my units that loves a full, full report. When I was newer I thought she nit picked me, but now I just see it has nothing to do with me. That's just her style of report. So before I write out my report sheets I look to see who is following me and I plan how my report is going to be. One way to handle the nit picking RN is to joke with her. Right before you start report with her you tell her you made goal with yourself that the nit picking RN won't have any questions at the end of report. (Say it with a smile.) This is a nice way to bring it to her attention how she acts. Another way to handle her is to mimic her when she gives you report (tell her you are going to act like her with a smile on your face.)

I will tell you this, I know more about my pts when I know the nit picking RN is following me. So in the long term, she has helped me become a better nurse. I just hate when she follows me after a crazy shift.

terry21651 · Jan 30, 2012

Hi

now this is coming from an icu nurse with 30+ years of icu experience. I have had this done to me as a new nurse and now. I just stop for a moment while they are talking and say"i have been taking care of this patient for 12 hours. I tell them i know what is going on with this patient and you don't so i encourage you to stop talking and listen as i am not going to repeat myself because your were not listening. We have patients with multiple problems and issues and that usually works for me. I am not saying be nasty or anything. You could try asking her to hold questions until after your have given her the bulk of your report. The work place has many types of personalities and sometimes you have to deal with them. Just know that you are trying your best and not let someone make you feel otherwise. Try not to take everyone and everything so personal. I know that is hard but that is how I have survived so long being a nurse.

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2012

Only two ways to resolve this,

1) Hide in the bushes after her shift ends, and . . . . . .

or

2) Do your research and quiz the crap out of her on the flip-side-report!!!!!

KARMA

Footballnut · Jan 30, 2012

I confronted a nurse a while back that was doing that to me on the phone every time I gave report. I told her I would like to find a way to make report go a little smoother and let her know that interruptions got me off track. I let her know that I wanted to be sure I covered everything that was important to her and I would give her time to ask questions.

I was very surprised by her answer. She let me know that she was a new nurse and had a sheet of paper in front of her when I gave report with questions/categories that she had to fill in. This was something she had thought of and developed herself. It was a whole new perspective on why she would ask so many questions and interrupt while I was trying to tell her about a specific patient. She was just trying to fill her page!

It may be possible to get this nurse to modify her behavior some. Don't make it personal, just let her know that you want to be sure she is getting the information that she needs. Then ask for what you want.

It might sound like this: Smile and say, "I would like to give you a good report. If you don't mind listening until I am done I can then answer any questions you may still have. Does that sound okay to you?" No guarantees, but it's worth a try.

If you really think it is harassment you can meet with her away from everyone else, comment on her specific behaviors, the effect they have on you and ask for what you would like her to do. Here is a link to a Power Point teaching presentation on how to confront someone who is giving you a bad time: Kathleen Bartholomew

Good luck and all the best as you pursue your career!