Problem with another nurse

fltnrse2, ASN, RN · Jan 30, 2012

I have read many of the postings on this subject, I disagree with most of them. I got that "here we go again" feeling again. Why do we give report? I'm thinking so nurses can communicate with each other concerning a patient. I don't agree with written or tape recorded reports, I view them as a means to avoid communicating with each other, and if you have a question there is no one to ask. Asking questions and seeking clarification I see as a plus for the patient and the nurse asuming care. If a question (interuption) or the need for clarification causes a siminal event (or so the studies show) then I would suggest being more organized with the information you are going to report on, then check it off when you have covered that topic. I'm so really tired of nursing bashing each other. I often wonder why it seems so easy for nurses to jump on the bashing band wagon as opposed to offering as many solutions. I don't see the isssue as nit picking or the need for long sighs to demonstrate your feelings, or any of the multitude of remarks many have suggested, why? Because it takes us away from the ability to communicate about "the patient". Somehow I think I might find opinions that when something goes wrong these same nurses will respond something like this, "so why didn't you just ask." FLTNRSE

Verbatim · Jan 30, 2012

obviously, i don't know either you or your colleague. but i'll just throw this out as food for thought. is it possible that you're a newer nurse and this "nasty nurse" is far more experienced? if this is true, is it possible that she's quizzing you in an effort to help you become a better nurse? maybe asking you this question when you're talking about that to help you see the relationship between the two? and possibly pointing out areas where you need to develop your time management skills? i am by no means saying it's always the case, but i've seen an awful lot of newbies mistake a more experienced nurse's interest in helping them to develop as nurses as "being mean to me" or "nitpicking." `

there is a right way and a wrong way to do anything. if she truly wanted to make him a better nurse, she could and should, tactfully point out his deficiency. she could at the very least, offer a rationale for her questions. however, more info. is needed.

for sure, i know a nurturer from a bully. i am the former. most of us know when we are being bullied. i've been bullied. i have never walked away from a nurturing moment feeling bad. i've never walked away from a bully feeling good. the op clearly feels bad.

the op clearly states that she is the only one who has a problem with him.

brokenroads27, if you are worried about a write up, talk to the nurse. if a talk does not help, escalate.

Verbatim · Jan 30, 2012

If I had to take a guess, I would say that the other nurse has major issues with control. Moreover, you are allowing her to exercise her need for control by permitting her to constantly interrupt your report and behave in a nasty manner.

BINGO! Could not agree more.

**NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN** · Jan 30, 2012

obviously, i don't know either you or your colleague. but i'll just throw this out as food for thought. is it possible that you're a newer nurse and this "nasty nurse" is far more experienced? if this is true, is it possible that she's quizzing you in an effort to help you become a better nurse? maybe asking you this question when you're talking about that to help you see the relationship between the two? and possibly pointing out areas where you need to develop your time management skills? i am by no means saying it's always the case, but i've seen an awful lot of newbies mistake a more experienced nurse's interest in helping them to develop as nurses as "being mean to me" or "nitpicking."`

grilling someone after a 12 hour shift though is just rude. no one is on their a game.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 30, 2012

there is a right way and a wrong way to do anything. if she truly wanted to make him a better nurse, she could and should, tactfully point out his deficiency. she could at the very least, offer a rationale for her questions. however, more info. is needed.
for sure, i know a nurturer from a bully. i am the former. most of us know when we are being bullied. i've been bullied. i have never walked away from a nurturing moment feeling bad. i've never walked away from a bully feeling good. the op clearly feels bad.
the op clearly states that she is the only one who has a problem with him.
brokenroads27, if you are worried about a write up, talk to the nurse. if a talk does not help, escalate.

the fact that the op walked away from the exchange feeling badly does not mean that the person was a bully. there's a vast expanse of area between nurturer and bully, and that person could easily have been someone who meant well but has a communication style the op is uncomfortable with, or who just has poor delivery. something to consider. if you go around looking for bullies, you'll find them -- whether or not there are any. if you go around looking for the best in folks, often enough you'll get it.

LynnLRN · Jan 30, 2012

I ask a lot of questions when I get report. But its because I want to know whats going on with my patient. I feel like sometimes during report newer nurses only tell what they've done for the patient and how the pt did that shift but are not able to verbalize the actual plan of care. I feel that by asking these questions it helps the nurse to see the big picture themselves and hopefully they'll start asking the same questions too.

But I guess its hard to tell by your post if the nurse is being nit picky or if she is just thorough. I guess I would need actual examples. It depends on if she is mad that the foley that was ordered 6 hours ago has not placed in the patient and now she has to do it. Or lets say you have a GI bleed pt and she asks so what end is the patient bleeding from or was the pt having dark tarry stools or red and you couldn't answer then I would be aggravated too.

Now if shes mad becasue you didn't have time to do a 4 day IV tubing change or something similar then maybe she is just lazy and mean.

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Jan 30, 2012

If she interrupts you, just stop. Say nothing till she's finished. Then just finish report right from where you left off. If you have to put your finger on your sheet at the point she interrupts.
When she grills you about things you've been thorough explaining, you can just point her to the EMR for everything you know is in there.
If she is the type that repeats, "why is this, why is that, why didn't you..." Just give her a big old heavy "you tire me" kind of sigh, but do not speak, don't answer her. If you are done with report and you've given her standard whine time, just walk away (or start picking your nose).

This may be my favorite post ever.

The other nurse is mining you for emotions. If you are a dry well, she'll drill elsewhere.

fltnrse2, ASN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Dear Nickie Laughs,

Just another reason to do away with 12hr hour shifts!

I don't think I completly understand your comment, but I'll take a stab at it anyway. Me, no I am not a new grad I've been in practice for 40 years. I just fail to see this subject as a big deal. After 12 hours what's another 5 minutes? A ittle kindness can go a long way, you never know when your going to be the consumer as opposed to the provider and look up to see this not so new nurse taking care of you. It never fails why asnurses collectively we don't seem short on the ability to go directly for the jugler. Consider that this might be a real question, not some convert operation to give you a hard time after 12 hours of work. FLTNRSE

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2012

Only two ways to resolve this,
1) Hide in the bushes after her shift ends, and . . . . . .]
2) Pistols at dawn?:icon_roll

gollybabbler · Feb 1, 2012

This looks like a power play to me- the nurse who frequently interrupts with questions is not one who is trying to be better prepared, but is trying to show who is boss in the exchange. There is a way to get the info you want without interrupting. To fix this, just ignore the interruptions- anything you feed will grow, and anything you ignore stops or goes away.

I'm still kind of stuck on the seminal event problem, though. Any GYN nurses out there who can help us with that?

dudette10, MSN, RN · Feb 2, 2012

I've had that happen to me. I'm six months into my new grad year, and now I am confident I know the difference between things I should know and things I really don't have to know.

Knowing the AM hgb on a GI bleed: SHOULD KNOW! If I didn't know, I would apologize and look it up myself and tell the AM primary nurse prior to clocking out. In that situation, I can rest easy that criticals would have been called in by the lab, but it is information that the nurse should know, critical or not.

Knowing the dx on a patient's relative who is in the same hospital, and that situation contributes to my patient's extreme anxiety (true story; yes, I was asked by the oncoming nurse, who then made a face): DON'T NEED TO KNOW! I said, "I don't know," and I moved on without an ounce of guilt.

The first few times it happened to me, I felt bad. But, as time goes on, the guilt subsides, and you learn to focus on fixing what should be fixed and ignoring what doesn't need to be fixed.

Good luck. The first year is difficult.

RN_travlr · Feb 24, 2012

Traveling I get this occassionally from nurses. These nurses are usually the ones that other nurses also have issues with. If taping report is an option, use it. If not, CYA(cover your a**) because they are the ones that LOOK for stuff to report to the supervisors. There are certain nurses I dread giving report to...I tape if I can, If I cant, I hit them with the answer before they ask next time....it usually stops their control issues...and thats what I believe it to be.