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pre-nursing mom of 3 needs advice

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by Lgoodson614 Lgoodson614 (New) New

KristeyK

Specializes in Private Practice- wellness center.

It sounds to me as if she is asking for advice period. Not people questioning whether or not she should have applied in the first place, or people questioning how good daycare is or isn't. We all have our doubts about things, even nursing school. We all also have choices to make, and those of us who will have a child in daycare while we're in school aren't any worse than those who wait until their children start school. (I look at it from the perspective of "I want to go to afterschool activities, field trips, football games...if I start NOW, I will be able to do that.) I have an only child, so the social skills he has gained from being in daycare far outweigh the skills I could have given him on my own. (I'm assuming we have all taken some sort of psychology or sociology class that talks about how important it is for these kids to have cohorts to play with regularly.) Since he has done so well with daycare in the past, I will not have any issue with letting him go while I am in school.

To the OP- if it helps any- try non-traditional daycares. There are many churches that have daycare centers, someone's home- you have the time to find a situation you'd be comfortable with. :D

This is such a personal decision, and can be a very touchy subject! My answer if you NEEDED the money, would be to just put your guilt aside.

That being said, I have 4 kids and we dont need two incomes right now (it would be nice). I have put off nursing school for quite a while and questioned if thats even what I wanted to do. I think putting my own desires on hold has made it that much sweeter for me:) Does that make sense? I almost want it even more than I did 6-8 yrs ago. You also have to ask yourself what you would regret more, not going to school sooner or missing out on time with your kids while they are little. Only you can answer that. Once I made the decision to just enjoy this time I have with them, I felt a huge weight lifted off. Now I am taking it slow, or or two classes at a time and when I do go they will be 8-15. There will be some activities you miss, but I am finding with my ten year olds that there are so many activities its ok to miss some here and there. Plus its only for two years.

hayleyh31

Specializes in NICU, Cardiac. Has 1 years experience.

I'm glad to read this post. I'm also a mom of 3 little ones (almost 4, almost 2 and 6 months) and right now, I'm working FT outside of the home. I also have my bachelor's degree in history, so all I need are my pre-reqs and I'm looking at going to NS in Fall 2011. I'm so nervous about how I'm going to balance life with three small children with NS, so I'm glad to know that there are many other people in the same boat.

bhanson

Specializes in Cardiac. Has 2 years experience.

I'm not a mother and I don't have any kids but here is my two cents.

When I was younger my parents arranged their life so one of them would be with me at all times, they felt this was important. Growing up I always wished they provided more social opportunities for me at a very young age. I distinctly remembering entering kindergarten and not having a clue how to interact with other children without being the weird kid. This took me quite a few years to get over and stumped my social growth significantly.

(Parenting advice from a non-parent so take it with a grain of salt I suppose):

I would encourage you all to not shelter your children too much from the world as in some cases it may cause more harm than good.

I'm not a mother and I don't have any kids but here is my two cents.

When I was younger my parents arranged their life so one of them would be with me at all times, they felt this was important. Growing up I always wished they provided more social opportunities for me at a very young age. I distinctly remembering entering kindergarten and not having a clue how to interact with other children without being the weird kid. This took me quite a few years to get over and stumped my social growth significantly.

(Parenting advice from a non-parent so take it with a grain of salt I suppose):

I would encourage you all to not shelter your children too much from the world as in some cases it may cause more harm than good.

I don't want to make this a thread about day care but I have to respond to your idea that only being in day care socializes a child.

Parents do that first. And you are still able to be with other kids on play dates and at the park and at the swimming pool and Sunday School and neighborhoods and many other things.

I'm not criticizing folks who use day care - I just made a different choice.

But I do have to take issue that ONLY day care would have made Kindergarten easier for you. Some kids are just shy - regardless of how much social interaction they get.

steph

bhanson

Specializes in Cardiac. Has 2 years experience.

I don't want to make this a thread about day care but I have to respond to your idea that only being in day care socializes a child.

Parents do that first. And you are still able to be with other kids on play dates and at the park and at the swimming pool and Sunday School and neighborhoods and many other things.

I'm not criticizing folks who use day care - I just made a different choice.

But I do have to take issue that ONLY day care would have made Kindergarten easier for you. Some kids are just shy - regardless of how much social interaction they get.

steph

I didn't mean to imply that day care is the ONLY form of social interaction for very young children. Instead I intended it as an alternative perspective that shows in certain ways it can be beneficial.

I didn't mean to imply that day care is the ONLY form of social interaction for very young children. Instead I intended it as an alternative perspective that shows in certain ways it can be beneficial.

Thanks.

steph

Hi Lgoodson614 - I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't have young kids, my son is almost 17 now, but I can relate in the way of having doubts. Even though I waited until I felt the time was right for me, I still every now and then get scared, wondering if I'm doing the right thing or if I will be good at being a nurse, if I can handle it. It's normal to have doubts about the unknown. You need to really take the time to evaluate what you have going on right now and determine if you feel it's the right time for you.

As another poster mentioned, nursing school is very time consuming, not only to attend the class itself, but you will have clinicals, homework, papers to write, research, care plans, etc. Make sure you take into consideration the amount of time that it will take to do those as well. As you browse this site you will see posts from many women who have gone to school with young kids and have succeeded, but it's a personal decision that only you can decide.

There was a posting in the Georgia Nurses section that has some really good advice from nursing students with kids. I've copied the link here for you and hopefully some it will help in making your decision. It's doable if it's something you really want at this time in your life, good luck!

https://allnurses.com/georgia-nurses/calling-any-moms-464847.html

I am not a mother at all but i can understand because my mother went to school when i was younger at night.so after school then going to my aunt's(babysit me) I never seen my mom...And, I wondered why, But as well i was too you to understand and when i got older it all came together and i never "needed" for anything clothes,food,comfort or love she made sure to spend time..come up to my school from time to time and never let me do. And, I'm sure once they get older they will have they same understanding I did..GOOD LUCK

I am a mother of 5 stepmother of 4....9 total.

I got my BE (engineering) in 1984 before I had children. I have been a single mom and had to put my children in daycare so that I could maintain a career. Regardless, my girls were/all honor students/grads. My boys were ADD but they graduated and are now attending CC. My oldest daughter spent 4 yrs in the military as a combat medic. She is now doing her pre-reqs as she works as an MA. My second daughter is on scholarship at UNF and she is a criminal justice major. My youngest is 17 and in HS.

My stepchildren were raised by their SAHM. She homeschooled them until HS. Their oldest is an MP in the army. Their second got a job out of HS and decided not to finish college after her first year. The younger 2 are 16 and 12. Their mom went to nursing school before the divorce and is self-supporting.

The reality is that you do what you need to do. Your kids will gain lessons from it one way or the other. Daycare is not a bad place for them to be. In my home, we went nearly 5 years without a TV! (therefore no video games, vcr's, etc.) We had complete family time. My kids' biggest complaint was that they needed new books to read! They excelled in reading (all 5 of them) and had vocabularies far and above their classmates.

After suffering repeated layoffs in the field of IT, I decided to change course. I took all my pre-reqs online and took a year to do them. Some classes transferred from my first degree. I was accepted to my CC's nursing program. Four terms back to back. I work FT and attend the evening/we courses. It isn't easy, but it can be done.

The biggest thing I see with my children is...."If mom can do THAT, I can do THIS!"

45whenimdone

Specializes in Geriatrics.

Hi, I'm a mom to 4. ages range between 10mos and almost 9 years old.

I say GO FOR IT!!!!! I know the guilt will be there, but just think of the possiblities when you are done. it's only for 2 years? I didn't see it in your post. Try and see if the school has a day care program this way if you have any inbetween time you can see your little ones.

this is FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. think of it that way. A lot can happen in a few years that can prevent you from attending. If you have support from your significant other or family now, go for it. heck, even if you don't but can afford the day care through financial aid, etc. I say GO FOR IT!!! finish it now! it's hard to get accepted. Don't pass this opportunity up!!

Good luck! You can do this!!! believe me as a mom, you will "feel guilty" almost the rest of your life for little things you should of done for your kids, or what not. This is NOT something you should feel guilty for.

Hi! I definitely know how you feel because I went to an Accelerated Option RN program when my triplet boys were only 3. I felt horribly guilty, and missed them terribly, but knew that as most things in life, it was a balance between getting to spend more time with them and getting on with my career choice, and providing steady income for our future. It's a very tough choice, but keep in mind that little kids, even babies, love being around other kids, and they will have a blast in the right environment. My children really had fun - when they were very little and I was doing just a couple of classes, they went to a Parents Day Out program. Big success. They had a little playground there, played with cool, different toys, etc. When I went to the AO program, they were old enough for preschool, and we decided to put them in Montessori, which was another great decision. They loved it, and by the time they started kindergarten they were already reading. I would say it's very important to do the research to find the right situation, so that you can feel confident about where they are, so you can concentrate on your studies. And don't feel like you will never see them once you start school. Even with my 8-5 Monday through Thursday schedule, with tons of homework, I still felt like I had quite a bit of quality time with them, and ultimately we all came out just fine. Good luck!! Nicki, RN