pre-nursing mom of 3 needs advice

[Lgoodson614]

I have 3 kids. 1,2, and 4 yrs old (almost 5). My oldest goes to school all day starting in the Fall. I was accepted to RN program at my local community college starting in the fall but it's during the day so I would have to put my other 2 kids in daycare. I feel soooo guilty as to the mere thought!!

I have my B.S. degree in Psychology. I've completed all the gen-ed's and pre-req's so I just have to complete the 30 credits of nursing courses to get my RN.

I've always stayed home with my kids ... I work part-time in the evenings in a call center so we've never had to pay for childcare in the past.

The alternative is that I could wait 4 years (when they are all in school) and do a RN or BSN program. Because I already have my B.S. degree, I can go to an accelerated program (60 credits) (4 semesters) once the kids are older ...but still, that is a big committment ...all day everyday schooling.

I thought about taking the slower route and doing RN first and then BSN ... spanned over a total of 4 years but taking less credits per semester.

Anyway, I could also apply for an evening/weekend program at CCBC which is about an hour away from me. I could start Fall 2011 providing that I get it. That way I avoid the guilt, can still go to school, and the kids don't have to go to daycare. Is that the better option?

I'm having such a hard time deciding!!! Any input from mom's that have gone to nursing school while their kids were still young is greatly appreciated! Would you do it again?? Should I just wait until they are all in school? Should I do evening/weekend program?

[fen1967]

I went back to school and got my A.S.N. as a second career. I had 2 small kids when I started and I never regretted it because I new I was bettering my life and theirs. I had to make sacrifices in the beginning, but the benefits far outweighed the negatives especially long term goals. Whether it is an ASN or a BSN, it is still an RN. Good luck!

[fludddwrn]

Actually did it twice. In 1986 had four children ages 2, 4, 5 and 7 and went back to school. With the help of my husband recieved my BSN in 1989. Husband passed away in 1993 and I had five children ages 2, 8, 10, 11, and 14. Entered graduate school in 1998 and graduated in 2002 with MSN-FNP. It can be done just have to have faith in yourself. God Bless You.

[DMHG1812]

I am not sure what region or city you live in. But let me brief you on what's going on here in Texas.

I have heard several stories of people relocating out of their hometown and even out of state, due to not being able to get into a nursing program. Waiting lists are at least 1 year. I am also pending acceptance into a program this Fall, but won't find out until this June. No, my daughter is not of preschool age, however, if she were, that would not change. Getting into a program seems to be like winning the lottery now days. Look at it this way, you are improving your job skills, to make a better living for you kids. It's a sacrifice any way you look at it. The earlier the better.

I wish I had done the same when my daughter was of school age. I would not have to apply for grant and loan money to put her through college! Good luck to ya. Hope you find it easier to make your decision.

[WondeR.N.]

I went to nursing school while my kids were very young, as well. Day care can be extremely expensive, and you would still have to deal with somehow juggling their drop-off and pick-up with your school schedule--and then you'll have plenty of sick days, snow days, and all those regularly scheduled days off (holidays, superintendant's day, conferences, etc.). It can be extremely difficult without knowing you always have reliable child care coverage.

I looked into every single option before going back to school, and the best, most reliable and cost-effective option is to hire an au pair if you have the room. There is an initial outlay of a good chunk of change, but after that you pay a little less than $200/week and provide room and board. I don't know how much day care centers cost where you are, but for me, an au pair averaged out to WAY less money than a center with a LOT more benefits. You will always have reliable, trustworthy care; it is one person who will love and nurture your kids, and whom they will love; and you don't have to worry about what to do when your kids get sick, have days off, etc. There is no drop off or pick up to worry about. It's a wonderful choice that I highly recommend.

[RNTutor, BSN, RN]

Of course, there are going to be pros and cons to all of your options. I went through and accelerated second-degree program before I had my son, so I don't have direct experience with balancing kids and nursing school. But one of my friends with a young child had a really difficult time feeling guilty that her child was spending so much time with the grandparents. It's a balancing act.

Whatever you decide for now, though, I would definitely encourage you to pursue nursing at some point if that is what you are called to do. I recently read a daily devotional that I think really pertains to decisions like this. It was about how we as Mom's often put our own lives on hold, and sacrifice in order to serve our families. That's just what mom's do, and it's great unless we are doing it to the extreme that we ALWAYS give and do for our kids what they want, and NEVER take time to do anything for ourselves. When that happens, there are really 1 of 2 outcomes for our kids. They could grow up to be selfish, and think that everyone should sacrifice for them. Or, worse, they could grow up to be just like mom and never pursue their own dreams!!

Please don't interpret this to think that if you stay home with your kids they'll grow up to be selfish!! I personally am a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom. But if nursing school is your dream, find a way to make this work that works for you and your family. Whether that ends up being daycare and nursing school now, or waiting to do nursing school later. Then you're kids will grow up knowing that if Mom can achieve her goals and realize her dreams, so can they. Good luck!

[WondeR.N.]

As a mom, I just want to add a bit more encouragement. I posted my earlier message before reading through all the responses, and I have to say, a lot of them sounded a bit discouraging. Listen, you sound like a great mom who loves her kids and wants what is best for them and for yourself. As moms, we feel guilty no matter what choices we make!!! Nobody posts on boards questioning why a father might want to return to school for an advanced degree or make a career change.

You are making a fantastic choice! For crying out loud...our kids aren't being deprived because we are in school or working--or staying home with them. We make the best choices for our own situations. Consider how lucky we are to be able to have these choices to make. Too many women have to work day and night to make ends meet, constantly struggling to make sure their kids are taken care of. You are becoming a nurse, not abandoning them to pursue a life in a traveling circus!

Personally, I felt that I was setting a great example for my kids when I was in school. They weren't around when I got my first degree, and I feel that having them see me working HARD for something that I wanted was a great experience. They saw the effort I put into it, and I shared a lot of it with them, even though they were small. They understand that good things come from hard work. They understand that education is crucial, not because I'm telling them it is, but because they've witnessed it firsthand.

Let me tell you this: my kids were BEAMING with pride at my graduation, and they are PROUD every day that their mom is a nurse who helps heal other people. Yes, you WILL have plenty of days when you feel guilty that you're away from them, but so what? And you certainly shouldn't listen to anyone who tells you that you should "give up your spot" that somebody else wants just because you're a mom. They could have earned that spot and didn't. It's yours. Take it and enjoy the ride. Your kids will thrive, and so will you.

[CrazyMom4]

fludddwrn!

Wow, your children were in 1986 about the same exact ages as mine are now. I'm so sorry about your husband's passing. WHile my DH makes an excellent living right now, and we have life insurance, etc., I fear that he will pass away while the kids are still young, and before I was married I was really just job-hopping here and there:rolleyes:

In any case, having several children for whom to provide must make you additionally glad you went to NS. Thanks to you and all the other posters for giving such encouragement!!

Suz in Ca

[RockstarsNurseBabe]

Hun, I am a single mommy of 4 the youngest is 2 and the oldest in 3rd grade. I have been an LPN for 12 years (got my LPN while I was in high school...great program that our career enrichment center offered my Junior and Senior year), but I waited to get my ADN. I am now attending school full-time, working full-time and being a Mommy full-time! It's rough but it's worth it...DON'T WAIT!!!! It is hard having to send your kids for someone wlse to care for...and don't listen to any negative comments! Yes someone else may be able to fill your spot, but you have worked just as hard as any to get there! Don't give it up now! Once you are in the program and your babies are doing well in day care, you will realize that you are doing the best thing for all of you! Kids need to be able to learn to interact with kids other than their siblings and Mommies need to "Mommy time"...Being the single Mama of 4 little boys (ages: 9, 8, 6, and 2), I know that feeling is a rough feeling...I still get that feeling and my 3 older boys are in school all day and my baby stays with my grandma, but then I remember that in the end, I will have fulfilled my dream (one that I put on hold because of an abusive husband)! I sat down and talked with my boys and told them that Mommy was going back to school like them and at night when I get home from a long evening of work, Me and My boys sit down and do homework together...Even my 2 year old wants homework, so his brothers and I sit down, give him some paper and markers and we work together!

Don't ever give up on YOU...that is the worst thing that you could do! Your kids will love meeting new friends and make a Mommy-Kiddo day on the days that you are not in school and your babies will LOVE it! It will be something that they lok forward to and you will be happy that you've attained your dreams!!!

Good luck!!!!

[kisses5]

I'm sorry but i'm probably going to disagree with most other replies and say that no don't go to school now. You're kids are only young once. I've been where you are and you do get antsy wanting to get out and do something because you get bored. Take whatever classes you can online until they're all in school full time. Then only go to school while they're in school. Put your children first. You already have a bachelor's. Be content where you are and thrive from where you're planted at THIS moment. You're right where you're suppose to be and where God wants you to be, taking care of the children he's entrusted to you. Not dropping them off at a day care so others can take care of them. Again, take whatever classes you can online, which nowadays is just about all of them! Listen to your heart... good luck!

[RNTutor, BSN, RN]

Put your children first. You already have a bachelor's. Be content where you are and thrive from where you're planted at THIS moment. You're right where you're suppose to be and where God wants you to be, taking care of the children he's entrusted to you. Not dropping them off at a day care so others can take care of them.

Wow, I really have to disagree with you. It sounds like you view daycare as not taking care of your kids...in reality, leaving them at home alone would be not taking care of your kids! (If they're too little to take care of themselves for a few hours, of course.) Taking them to daycare is a responsible way to take care of your kids while you're off going to school to improve yourself so that you can BETTER take care of your kids.

I firmly believe that God has a unique plan for each of us, because he made us each uniquely. And that plan is not always to stay home full-time with our kids. It IS to be a good mom to your kids, but how that plays out in real life differs for everyone. Personally, I felt called to be home when I had my son, but I also still felt called to work. I now work-from-home, but I still have to get babysitters sometimes when my husband and I both have to work, and I don't feel guilty about it.

[rioshopefullvn]

ok I am gonna put my two cents in now....Dont wait....I have 2 children one with cerbral palsy....Going back to school was the best thing i did....My children are 13 and 6. I was in school for 18 months. To this day my kids will go to school and tell teachers that stydying is very important my 6 year old would tell his teacher my mommy studies at 4 in the morning....I have two boys and I really didnt think they every noticed the studying and homework I was doing but they did....My older son was asked who was his hero and he told his 7th grade class that it was me....he said my mom is older and went back to school. I went back at 38 years old....I did want to wait too....so many people told me get it over with....I took thier advise and did it...I fininshed school and am now pending results of nclex pn. I know it will be hard with kids, school, studying....You may have to miss some baseball games, birthday parties...ect. But in the end it will all be worth it.....Whatever you decide, you will be in our prayers!!! Good Luck!!!!

[ncbeachmommy]

I am in Pre NUrsing too with a 6 yr old in school and a 4 year old in preschool. I am doing all the pre classes before I even apply to my Community College's Nursing school. I was told that once you get accepted to have a back up plan to the back up plan to the back up plan for your kids. The Community College I attend has a policy where if you miss two days of class a semester (which, I would really try not too but kids get sick and I am there Mom). If you miss more than 2 they kick you out of the program. With me paying for school out of my families pocket....I am considering switching gears. No wonder there is a shortage in nursing. Sorry, I know this didn't help...but I have the same worries. My husband is only home on the weekends.