Please help, need to go back to work now! Have missed 1.5 months +

[Mustkeepjob32]

Hello all,

As you can see from my username, I've been dealing with issues for a long longer than just recently.

About March 1 and later, I was dealing with family stuff and missed work and while my manager of my unit in the hospital has been understanding, I can't keep missing. Every day I'm scheduled I have full intention of going and then something happens. I don't know if it's anxiety, habit, or what but I call and take my self off the schedule for that night.

I live in an apartment that my agency pays for which makes it even worse. I've been here for 1.5+ months without going to work and they've been letting me live here. The agency is asking me almost every day if I've gone to work because I imagine they're getting really worried. I don't want to lose this job but I don't know what I can do.

My partner with whom I have a rocky relationship says I'm thief due to living here without working. He also tells I'm just simply lazy. Could it be??? He always calls my family when I don't go to work upsetting my elderly parents.

I can see a psychiatrist but not until May. I've been stable on meds for years I just don't know what's going on. It's like I missed so much that now being able to go back and face it is almost this insurmountable task. I think that once I do it I'll be better. I just feel lost. I don't want to lose this job, have to leave this house and move back to California and lose a big chunk of my possessions AGAIN...

How do I change it so that I can stop this pattern and GO to work?

Please help!

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Are you a nurse?

Are you a travel nurse?

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Based on your post, it sounds like you need professional help from someone who can do a full evaluation and work with you 1:1 to help you. I also believe that you should see someone before May. What's the barrier to seeing someone sooner? Does your agency offer an Employee Assistance Program? There are also hotlines and emergency resources available to you. Please take care of yourself.

[caliotter3]

If you want to keep the job, then go to work.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Sometimes you need to call the doctor's office, preferably the one who prescribed you the meds you take now, and tell them you need to be seen urgently. Tell them you are missing work and cannot wait until May.

Best of luck.

[LovingLife123]

The only advice I can give is to actually go to work. I've never heard of a place that lets you call in for a month and a half.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I wonder if you can get a reorientation shift with a partner, or if Employee Assistance can hook you up with a counselor quickly. In the end, you are going to have to hold your nose and jump in.

[nutella, MSN, RN]

1. call your prescriber and make an appointment

2. you might want to consider seeing a MH specialist out of pocket if you can afford it - some have low cost/ sliding scale

3. You need to go to work.

If number 3 is not happening because of a "habit" or "anxiety" the only thing that will actually help is to go. Once you have gone for a couple of days, you will most likely feel better about it and just do it.

I am not sure why your employer puts up with you calling out for that long but you need to make it a habit to just show up every day - and not look for a reason to stay home. That sends your brain the wrong message that gets reinforced by your behavior, which in turn reinforces your thoughts of "not going is the right thing to do: , which reinforces the behavior -- a cycle that is hard to break.

[pixierose, BSN, RN]

If you can, *go to work* -- that's half the battle right there is walking through the door in the first place.

I don't say this lightly; as someone who has a mental illness, I can relate. In the past the anxiety and depression can be so overwhelming that I felt so despondent and actually walking through those doors felt like the biggest challenge. Any doors.

So once you do pass through those doors, some of that anxiety lifts ... making the next task easier and so on.

Please see your psychiatrist sooner than May.(((Hugs)))

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

The previous posters are right: the only way to get past your anxiety about going to work is to...go to work.

Believe me, I understand. I've been through something similar and I wound up quitting because I "just couldn't do it anymore". Now I wish I'd been more stern with myself and forced myself to continue, because it set me up for a long career of changing jobs over and over again in search of that mythical creature known as the stress-free nursing job.

Please see someone ASAP to help you deal with your anxiety. You might consider your employer's EAP for more immediate concerns, if they have one (most larger employers do). It's a short-term assistance program but it might get you through until you can see your own doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist if you don't already have a mental health care provider.

Wishing you the very best. Take care of yourself; we haven't a nurse to waste.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Agree with the others. I get a weird sort of anxiety when I am out of work for more than a week, making it hard to go back. But i do it and it gets better when I do.

Please get professional help, too. I wish you the best.

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

Are you depressed?