As you can see from my username, I've been dealing with issues for a long longer than just recently.
About March 1 and later, I was dealing with family stuff and missed work and while my manager of my unit in the hospital has been understanding, I can't keep missing. Every day I'm scheduled I have full intention of going and then something happens. I don't know if it's anxiety, habit, or what but I call and take my self off the schedule for that night.
I live in an apartment that my agency pays for which makes it even worse. I've been here for 1.5+ months without going to work and they've been letting me live here. The agency is asking me almost every day if I've gone to work because I imagine they're getting really worried. I don't want to lose this job but I don't know what I can do.
My partner with whom I have a rocky relationship says I'm thief due to living here without working. He also tells I'm just simply lazy. Could it be??? He always calls my family when I don't go to work upsetting my elderly parents.
I can see a psychiatrist but not until May. I've been stable on meds for years I just don't know what's going on. It's like I missed so much that now being able to go back and face it is almost this insurmountable task. I think that once I do it I'll be better. I just feel lost. I don't want to lose this job, have to leave this house and move back to California and lose a big chunk of my possessions AGAIN...
How do I change it so that I can stop this pattern and GO to work?
Is it just work you cant go out to, or is it other things too, like shopping, going to other places, etc. That insight might clue you in to the urgency of needing to see MH specialist.
If it's just nursing, then you may need to consider another vocation. Not easy to start that process, but we all have to work if we want somewhere to live and groceries.
If you like having a roof over your head and food in the fridge; I suggest you suck it up and go to work. I get anxious to go sometimes (and I am 20 years in), but I am ok once I get there. My employer would not allow call ins for over a month. I hope all works out.
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
Every day I'm scheduled I have full intention of going and then something happens. I don't know if it's anxiety, habit, or what but I call and take my self off the schedule for that night.
I live in an apartment that my agency pays for which makes it even worse. I've been here for 1.5+ months without going to work and they've been letting me live here. The agency is asking me almost every day if I've gone to work because I imagine they're getting really worried. I don't want to lose this job but I don't know what I can do.
This tells me that, for whatever reason, you are making a conscious decision not to go to work. You must have a very understanding agency, because most would have fired you for breach of contract and made you move out of agency paid housing long before now.
Obviously, you have personal issues that you need professional help for. I hope that you get the help that you need. That said, it is not fair for you to continue to string the agency along and live off of them when you are not providing the services that you agreed to provide when you signed the contract.
Every day I'm scheduled I have full intention of going and then something happens. I don't know if it's anxiety, habit, or what but I call and take my self off the schedule for that night.
I live in an apartment that my agency pays for which makes it even worse. I've been here for 1.5+ months without going to work and they've been letting me live here. The agency is asking me almost every day if I've gone to work because I imagine they're getting really worried. I don't want to lose this job but I don't know what I can do.
This tells me that, for whatever reason, you are making a conscious decision not to go to work. You must have a very understanding agency, because most would have fired you for breach of contract and made you move out of agency paid housing long before now.
Obviously, you have personal issues that you need professional help for. I hope that you get the help that you need. That said, it is not fair for you to continue to string the agency along and live off of them when you are not providing the services that you agreed to provide when you signed the contract.
What are you telling the job and agency the reason that you are not in? Do you have a docs note?
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
What are you telling the job and agency the reason that you are not in? Do you have a docs note?
There is definitely information missing here. I cannot imagine a travel agency keeping and continuing to pay the housing for a nurse who missed a month and a half of work, minus some catastrophic injury.
I wanted to thank you guys for the responses. Most were nice and few were disingenuous. I since lost that job and now have another job in a new city. The reason why everyone was so understanding was because I lost my mother and father in a period of three weeks.
I wanted to thank you guys for the responses. Most were nice and few were disingenuous. I since lost that job and now have another job in a new city. The reason why everyone was so understanding was because I lost my mother and father in a period of three weeks.
I'm not sure "disingenuous" means what you think it does, because I didn't see any posts which fit that description. Maybe a few were less than sympathetic, but honestly, you didn't provide the key bit of information which would help the reader understand what's going on with you.
You've had a terrible loss. This would devastate most people. You sound like you had some rather appropriate situational depression. Grief counseling might help you find ways to cope with this loss.
Good luck in the next job. So sorry for your losses.
I wanted to thank you guys for the responses. Most were nice and few were disingenuous. I since lost that job and now have another job in a new city. The reason why everyone was so understanding was because I lost my mother and father in a period of three weeks.
I'm sorry if you feel like some of the posts here weren't appropriately supportive given your situation but you didn't mention THE most important detail about it. We cannot sympathize with you about that which we do not know.
Regardless, so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found another job and are moving on.
"He always calls my family when I don't go to work, upsetting my elderly parents."
Color me confused, OP. Your OP states that your SO called your elderly parents, upsetting them when he tells them you're were working.
I'm sorry for your losses. However, I'm unclear as to how PP's would have gotten that key bit of info (especially as you posted that your SO was calling them) and as someone who reread the thread (and posted in the original), I saw none that were "disingenuous."
"He always calls my family when I don't go to work, upsetting my elderly parents."
Color me confused, OP. Your OP states that your SO called your elderly parents, upsetting them when he tells them you're were working.
I'm sorry for your losses. However, I'm unclear as to how PP's would have gotten that key bit of info (especially as you posted that your SO was calling them) and as someone who reread the thread (and posted in the original), I saw none that were "disingenuous."
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martymoose, BSN, RN
1,946 Posts
Is it just work you cant go out to, or is it other things too, like shopping, going to other places, etc. That insight might clue you in to the urgency of needing to see MH specialist.
If it's just nursing, then you may need to consider another vocation. Not easy to start that process, but we all have to work if we want somewhere to live and groceries.
Best wishes.