People think you are rich because you are a nurse

[chenoaspirit]

First I had to loan my in-laws 1500.00 to keep the bank from foreclosing on their home (never got it back). Then 2 other people borrowed 20.00 and never paid me back. Now I have this so-called "friend" who calls me about 2-3 times per month to borrow money. She has 5 kids and uses the line "the baby needs milk" or "we have no food". Now, neither work and they draw checks, foodstamps, plus the kids draw checks as well, they get assistance with utilities, and free medical care and free medicines. I used to loan them money, never to get it back. I felt sorry for them. Well, I wont loan them money anymore, but they still try it constantly. She called me 4 times today WHILE I WAS WORKING...hinting for money. I work all day 5 days a week while they lay on their butts all day and do nothing (there is more physically wrong with me than either of them). Im working, they can too. But they honestly think Im rich because Im a nurse and I can just shell out money at a moment's notice. Do any of you experience this with people? I get tired of watching lazy people (not the people who actually need help) get so much help and still expect more from people who WORK. Im tired of lines like "you are a nurse and make the big bucks", etc. grrrrrrrrr.

And yes, the doors to "chenoaspirit national bank" are now closed. lol, but I just find it so frustrating. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel sorry for them. I feel bad when I say no, but dang.

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

Stop the enabling and you'll be a happier person. It will probably be hard, and they'll hate you for awhile...but oh well, life goes on....

J

[sassysteph7]

My family thinks i'm "rich" too LOL....and once I had to tell a very good friend that I was not her personal ATM machine. She'd call me several times a month to borrow $20 or $40. It got to the point where I didn't want to answer her calls. I was scared to tell her how I felt but I did and thankfully she understood.

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

First I had to loan my in-laws 1500.00 to keep the bank from foreclosing on their home (never got it back). Then 2 other people borrowed 20.00 and never paid me back. Now I have this so-called "friend" who calls me about 2-3 times per month to borrow money. She has 5 kids and uses the line "the baby needs milk" or "we have no food". Now, neither work and they draw checks, foodstamps, plus the kids draw checks as well, they get assistance with utilities, and free medical care and free medicines. I used to loan them money, never to get it back. I felt sorry for them. Well, I wont loan them money anymore, but they still try it constantly. She called me 4 times today WHILE I WAS WORKING...hinting for money. I work all day 5 days a week while they lay on their butts all day and do nothing (there is more physically wrong with me than either of them). Im working, they can too.

I don't know where people get the idea RNs are made of money. (Of course, right now, some of us are among the few of our groups of friends who actually have a job...)

I'll probably get flamed for this, but your friend on the dole possibly gets more in tax-free (!!!!) public assistance than you do in take-home pay. Loan her nothing. If she says the baby's starving, buy the kid lunch or milk or whatever. I bet she'll bugger off after a few times of getting THAT for the answer.

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

As for cell phones, when you look on the phone and see who the call is from, nobody makes you answer it. I never answer my cell phone unless I want to take the call. It is on silent or vibrate and does not interrupt my work or other activities. And yes, you can block certain numbers if you contact the cell phone provider. My grandchildren's phones have blocked numbers that my daughter arranged through the carrier.

If they can afford a fancy cell phone....and premium cable....and eighty dollar shoes.....sorry, ya'll, but you all KNOW what I'm talking about....

I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush, but....

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

Every one of you are right and I appreciate your responses. I did call the cellphone carrier and they told me that I can not block certain numbers, but thats been a while back. I'll call them tomorrow and check on it again. I did once buy groceries and take it to them, they didnt even meet me at the door to get them. The kids got them. I didnt even get a thank you.

I got another phonecall today from them and I did tell them no. Deep down, it made me feel bad. I dont know why, I mean, it angers me, but at the same time I have a hard time saying "no". But I have a feeling it will get easier and easier to say. :) There are SO MANY people around me who owe me money. One girl, I gave in to her sob story and found out later she used the money for drugs and is now in jail. I'll never get my money back from her, I just count that as a loss.

And yes, these people are MORE than able to work. Nothing at all wrong with them. THAT's what makes me MAD!!! I bust my hump all day and they dont even get out of bed til noon.

[RN1982]

Every one of you are right and I appreciate your responses. I did call the cellphone carrier and they told me that I can not block certain numbers, but thats been a while back. I'll call them tomorrow and check on it again. I did once buy groceries and take it to them, they didnt even meet me at the door to get them. The kids got them. I didnt even get a thank you.

I got another phonecall today from them and I did tell them no. Deep down, it made me feel bad. I dont know why, I mean, it angers me, but at the same time I have a hard time saying "no". But I have a feeling it will get easier and easier to say. :) There are SO MANY people around me who owe me money. One girl, I gave in to her sob story and found out later she used the money for drugs and is now in jail. I'll never get my money back from her, I just count that as a loss.

And yes, these people are MORE than able to work. Nothing at all wrong with them. THAT's what makes me MAD!!! I bust my hump all day and they dont even get out of bed til noon.

I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I didn't help. I felt bad and guilty. It took me a long time before I realized how much I was getting stepped on. I talked about it a lot on here before. You have to let them go. Cut them off. Because if you don't, they will continue to walk all over you. I thought I had a good friend but as it turns out, she was only my friend when she wanted something from me. Let them go!

[rn4ever?]

According to your story, it's hard for you to say no and that you feel bad saying no.....But just think of it this way, everytime you say no to them, you say yes to more money for your old age, more money when you have a sudden expense/need, more money for your emergency, more money for your savings, more money for your kids' future (if you have any) and more financial security for you. I wish you well!

Every one of you are right and I appreciate your responses. I did call the cellphone carrier and they told me that I can not block certain numbers, but thats been a while back. I'll call them tomorrow and check on it again. I did once buy groceries and take it to them, they didnt even meet me at the door to get them. The kids got them. I didnt even get a thank you.

I got another phonecall today from them and I did tell them no. Deep down, it made me feel bad. I dont know why, I mean, it angers me, but at the same time I have a hard time saying "no". But I have a feeling it will get easier and easier to say. :) There are SO MANY people around me who owe me money. One girl, I gave in to her sob story and found out later she used the money for drugs and is now in jail. I'll never get my money back from her, I just count that as a loss.

And yes, these people are MORE than able to work. Nothing at all wrong with them. THAT's what makes me MAD!!! I bust my hump all day and they dont even get out of bed til noon.

[kcochrane]

I'm lucky in that my husband and I are probably the poorest in the family. We have let some family members borrow money, but they have always paid it back. And we have borrowed from them at times.

Honestly, I wouldn't say no, I would just say, sorry I don't have any extra right now - just paid all my bills and only have enough until next payday. After awhile they will get the hint. Or better yet, call them and ask to borrow money. Tell them you got over your head in credit. Ok...probably not a good idea, but it would be fun. :)

[CuriousMe]

OP: think of it this way. Giving them money is NOT helping them. The best way to help them, is to make them help themselves.

Giving them money might make you feel better.....but it actually hurts both of you.

[Kim, HHRN]

my daughter and my stepdaughters will say things like "dont change jobs, then we wont be rich anymore" And its like pulling teeth to get them to even do some chores around the house to help out. Im just very upset tonight. This one person kept calling me on my cellphone while I was working. i wish there was some way to block numbers on cellphones.

Some cell phones have the option to reject the call automatically, yours might as well.

[kcochrane]

Some cell phones have the option to reject the call automatically, yours might as well.

Also, if you can set a ring tone for each contact, try setting a no tone for the people you don't want to hear from.

[CBsMommy]

I would stop by McDonald's and get an application for each of them and tape the applications to their door and sign Love, Your Name at the bottom. That is a guarantee that they will never talk to you again. They may be mad but seriously, maybe they will get the hint!

I'm never asked for money. I wonder why that is....