People think you are rich because you are a nurse

[chenoaspirit]

First I had to loan my in-laws 1500.00 to keep the bank from foreclosing on their home (never got it back). Then 2 other people borrowed 20.00 and never paid me back. Now I have this so-called "friend" who calls me about 2-3 times per month to borrow money. She has 5 kids and uses the line "the baby needs milk" or "we have no food". Now, neither work and they draw checks, foodstamps, plus the kids draw checks as well, they get assistance with utilities, and free medical care and free medicines. I used to loan them money, never to get it back. I felt sorry for them. Well, I wont loan them money anymore, but they still try it constantly. She called me 4 times today WHILE I WAS WORKING...hinting for money. I work all day 5 days a week while they lay on their butts all day and do nothing (there is more physically wrong with me than either of them). Im working, they can too. But they honestly think Im rich because Im a nurse and I can just shell out money at a moment's notice. Do any of you experience this with people? I get tired of watching lazy people (not the people who actually need help) get so much help and still expect more from people who WORK. Im tired of lines like "you are a nurse and make the big bucks", etc. grrrrrrrrr.

And yes, the doors to "chenoaspirit national bank" are now closed. lol, but I just find it so frustrating. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel sorry for them. I feel bad when I say no, but dang.

[caliotter3]

My daughter is an equal opportunity moocher. If I don't give her money, she will gladly accept a few hundred dollars worth of groceries, gas for the car, a paid utility bill, a school clothing shopping spree for her kiddies, anything I'm willing to provide!

[SWS RN, ASN, RN]

Am I the only one scratching her head over the title of the post?

I have been an RN for 18 years and thankfully I have worked every one of them in one nursing capacity or another.

I am VERY grateful to have a job in this economy...but dear Lord...I certainly don't think that nurses are even close...even in the ballpark...to being rich!

Maybe it is because of the physical location in which I live (south Florida, it's very affluent here), I see BMWs, MBs, Audis, Jags, etc in the parking lot of the mall daily. I also see the "tennis moms" bopping around the club tennis courts, going to lunch,picking up "Buffy and friends" after school in order to take them to dance or music or soccer and certainly not slogging out either 3 12 hour shifts/or 5 eight hour shifts a week to be able to pay the bills!

Now, thank God that nursing salaries are better currently than when I began working, but I sure am not rich!

at least monetarily...I am rich in the sense that I do have a job, choices I can make, possibly vacations I can take, (not too often) but I would not say I am wealthy. THe cost of living here is also high and that cuts into the paycheck a lot, too.

NOW,that being said,

in regard to the other issue, that is lending or giving money to deadbeats...I agree with all that has been said before.

Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of...you will be much happier and not so disgruntled.

Just saying....not rich....mutter....mutter...not rich....wish I was...but not rich....

s:o

[CuriousMe]

Rich is a relative term. When I was in my 20's, I did a lot of international travel to some very "out of the way" kinds of places. I'd often have folks panhandle for money, telling me how rich I was. Now, I was sleeping in hostels, or crashing with expat friends, by US standards, I was far from rich. But compared to the local population, I was a very wealthy woman.

I think it's similar, to someone who is unemployed and receiving govt. aid....folks with a stable job seem "rich."

Am I the only one scratching her head over the title of the post?

I have been an RN for 18 years and thankfully I have worked every one of them in one nursing capacity or another.

I am VERY grateful to have a job in this economy...but dear Lord...I certainly don't think that nurses are even close...even in the ballpark...to being rich!

Maybe it is because of the physical location in which I live (south Florida, it's very affluent here), I see BMWs, MBs, Audis, Jags, etc in the parking lot of the mall daily. I also see the "tennis moms" bopping around the club tennis courts, going to lunch,picking up "Buffy and friends" after school in order to take them to dance or music or soccer and certainly not slogging out either 3 12 hour shifts/or 5 eight hour shifts a week to be able to pay the bills!

Now, thank God that nursing salaries are better currently than when I began working, but I sure am not rich!

at least monetarily...I am rich in the sense that I do have a job, choices I can make, possibly vacations I can take, (not too often) but I would not say I am wealthy. THe cost of living here is also high and that cuts into the paycheck a lot, too.

NOW,that being said,

in regard to the other issue, that is lending or giving money to deadbeats...I agree with all that has been said before.

Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of...you will be much happier and not so disgruntled.

Just saying....not rich....mutter....mutter...not rich....wish I was...but not rich....

s:o

[epinephRN]

OP, good for you in standing up for yourself! The guilt lessens when you consider that you are actually helping them. If everyone said no to people who want money without expending effort, there would be fewer people who try it. You are just ceasing to enable them, and this is actually a kindness. Just as you wouldn't order a hospitalized obese diabetic patient a doughnut or offer an alcoholic a bottle of liquor, you are setting firm boundaries that will help them if they would ever bother to recognize it.

It is time for them to do some serious thinking about their values and their future. They need to prioritize the care of their children over phones and creature comforts. This will never happen as long as someone else's money can keep them comfortable. It takes some discomfort for some people to change bad behavior.

[swirlything]

People don't think you're rich, they think you're a sucker who doesn't know how to say no! They act this way because YOU have trained them to, by giving them money. Only you can change this, and it sounds like you are beginning to. After you have consistently denied them money, they will eventually quit asking.

Nobody asks me for money; they know there's no point. My sister-in-law has tried a few times, but after 2 or 3 denials, she quit trying.

By the way, I have occasionally bought groceries as a gift for families that I knew were struggling due to circumstances beyond their control (like when my next door neighbor had a stroke and they really needed some help), but they never asked me to; I just knew they needed some help. I am all for being charitable to people who are responsible and who are really doing their best to take care of tehmselves and their families. But if someone "needs" $20 for food, but they refuse to turn off the cable and cell phone, then they're not really doing all they can to care for themselves.

[RN1982]

I just wanted to point out that people keep mentioning turning off the cell phone. Most of the time, that's all anyone has. People use cellphones more often than landlines. Hell, does anyone own a landline anymore? I don't. I use my cellphone as my main phone and so do most people. So no, turning off one's cellphone is not feasible. I could see maybe getting rid of text messaging but turning off the phone, no.

[swirlything]

I just wanted to point out that people keep mentioning turning off the cell phone. Most of the time, that's all anyone has. People use cellphones more often than landlines. Hell, does anyone own a landline anymore? I don't. I use my cellphone as my main phone and so do most people. So no, turning off one's cellphone is not feasible. I could see maybe getting rid of text messaging but turning off the phone, no.

A cell phone is a luxury. Heck, a phone is a luxury.... if it comes down to the choice between a phone and food for the kids, I know which I would go with. Now if the cell phone plan has a $300 fee for turning it off before end of contract, that could factor in. But most people aren't willing to part with their luxuries in order to supply necessities. I bet all the people who were begging the OP for money still had cable tv.

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

Well, these people bought a cellphone that cost alittle over 400.00, then pawned it, then bought another one that was around 250.00, then pawned it. Each time, they may have got 40.00 for it...SUCH A WASTE. If they had kept their money in the beginning, ya know? My cellphone carrier wont allow me to block certain numbers, I did however have texting turned off. I cant turn my cellphone off, thats not an option. Thats how we all communicate at work (homehealth). When I worked the floor, I did have to turn it off because of them. It was stressful because that was how my daughter got hold of me when something was wrong. So it was frustrating knowing that my daughter couldnt get hold of me because of them. So then I just pushed the "ignore" button, but then they would show up at my WORK! I feel like just smacking myself in the head sometimes. Thank you guys for your responses! Its just so frustrating and stressful on me.

Oh, I noticed a few responses about the title of this thread. Should I have titled it differently?

[nursecritter60]

Chenoaspirit, I read your initial post and happen to agree with you: people think you can just fork out the $ if you are a nurse.

Unfortunately, nursing doesn't really pay all that well where I live -if you are an LPN like me, that is.

In East Tennessee, in the Tri-Cities area, an LPN can expect to get between $11-$12 an hour in a doctors' office, around $14 an hour in a nursing home or other similar long-term care facility, and around $14-$15 an hour (if that) in a hospital.

Home health care (which has gone to "H" in a handbasket) pays the most at between $16-$20 per hour for no other reason than it's considered "hazard pay" because of all the potential for harm to the LPN due to the drug-crazed, violent, and unstable on-site environment you are highly likely to walk into.

I don't know about the hospital-owned home health companies, but far too many of the small to mid-sized (but well-known) franchised or corporate-based home health companies in the area where I live are extremely greedy companies, always seeking out the cases paying big government money and frequently signing them on without assessing the potential safety issues they often present to the nurses they send to the cases.

Moreover, these home health companies are rarely truthful about the risk of harm to the LPNs in these environments.

In Tennessee, the state of risk of physical harm to nurses who work in home health cases has been strangely silent.

The intro many years ago, of TennCare and the cases it generated to home health companies -IMO- seems to have been the beginning to this problem.

Home health companies began to lap up the 'gravy' suddenly produced in excess by the (very generous) TennCare program and began to wildly -and nearly blindly- accept cases that had only been skimmed from the top -and failed in the assessment for physical risk to the nurses that would eventually work the cases.

We all know that greed has many symptoms -one of them is that it creates blindness.

Home health companies were blind to the future issues of safety to its nurses and -ever since- the problem has worsened.

Home health companies do not want to hear their nurses complain about these problems because -now- the former sea of 'gravy' has become a tiny trickle and they feel threatened by some of the current political administrations' guildelines taking away a significant chunk of their income that shut down their beloved 'gravy' supply.

So -they want to hold on tight to the cases they already have -enough to ignore the LPNs pleas to focus on the worsening risk issues in the cases -because- too much focus will illicit added attention.

Added attention will domino-effect in the eventual prompt to do something about the problem.

The action they fear is one that may cause them to shut down and lose the case.

The loss of one or more cases at a time when the 'gravy' has run out may be just enough to close down an office.

And -regardless of any risk or harm to any nurse- these companies are simply not willing to give up any cases.

Now you understand why the pay in home health is higher and referred to as 'hazard pay'.

[CBsMommy]

I just wanted to point out that people keep mentioning turning off the cell phone. Most of the time, that's all anyone has. People use cellphones more often than landlines. Hell, does anyone own a landline anymore? I don't. I use my cellphone as my main phone and so do most people. So no, turning off one's cellphone is not feasible. I could see maybe getting rid of text messaging but turning off the phone, no.

I DO NOT have a cell phone. I do have a land line that costs $9/month. No call waiting, no caller ID, just a land line. I have never texted a day in my life, never even once. Wouldn't know how to work the thing. I get along just fine. No distraction while I'm out trying to relax, no distraction while driving. If it were between my child's food and having a cell phone, I would put food on my child's table. If it were between cable television and putting food on my child's table, I would choose the food. If it were between putting gas in my car and putting food on my child's table, I would put food on my child's table. Yes...they can get along just fine without a cell phone. I do it everyday.

[JenforRN]

I have the cheapest cell phone plan available (pay as you go) and even that has caller ID, voicemail, etc. I can be selective in who I answer, and if someone else is calling at the same time I'm already on the phone, they can leave a message.

I guess what I don't understand is why the OP feels badly about not answering moochers' calls while on the job - you can see it's them calling, you don't want to answer, and you're WORKING. Those all seem like valid reasons not to talk to them, IMO. Eventually, they'll stop calling when they stop getting immediate service.

[caliotter3]

Phone should be off when one is at work anyway.