Patient - RN Sexual Harrassment

Nurses General Nursing

Published

The other week we had a 50 something classic closet case MI on the floor. "I just had some chest pain" turned into numerous coronary blockages that he could never imagine the origin of. (Hmm maybe that you have smoked forever, have been wheelchair bound for years and love donuts more than your wife?)

Well on day one I didn't have the patient, but I had to go in and silence his heparin drip.

"Hey there." He said.

nod

"I just do that to make the sexy nurses come in the room"

raised eyebrow "K, have a good night"

I walked out thankful this obvious perv wasn't mine and vowed not to put foot in the room again. Creeper radar was screaming.

Anyway, I come back a night later and lo and behold he is on my team.

Dammit.

I look around and try to decide if it is worth it to drop him, or just put on my best "don't cross me" face and grin and bear it. I decide, considering I was charge...well I am always charge these days, that I am going to just accept the devil I sort of know. For the most part he is a walkie-talkie...well walkie-wheelie and isn't a whole lot of grief nursing wise.

So I walk in for shift change rounds and the first thing he does is sweep me from head to toe. Now mind you, I am a curvy girl, but I am not VS model or Playboy Bunny. I am a 30 something, German heritage, run of the mill woman. Well anyway, I instantly put on my most stoic face and commence the night. For the most part it goes ok. He asked me at one point if I had a sense of humor, to which I replied "depends on the day".

Ok so my next night, and last night of the week rolls around and I head in expecting the same sort of "hmm maybe she isn't one to cross" mentality from this guy. Yeah...right.

I guess my "did you behave today" was just the right comment to set this guy in "night nurse fever".

His comments ranged from mild "I like to see you sneaking around my room at night" to his morning deal sealer "I just want you to know you gave me a great fantasy for the week".

It took me a minute that morning to clear the white flash of rage that crossed my eyes as I walked out of the room. I refused to go back in there, and when he came out fifteen minutes later to pester me about unhooking him from his heparin drip so he could leave the floor, I must have let the inner feminist shine a bit because after that he became quite crabby I am told. I very flatly informed him that he wasn't even supposed to leave the floor, let alone be unhooked from the one thing that was keeping him from having a massive MI, and turned and walked away.

I talked to my manager about the situation, but of course nothing was done, and I didn't have the energy or care to confront this man on something he was so obviously ignorant of, respect.

So he sits now in the ICU s/p OHS and I am tempted to print an article on sexual harassment of RN's by patients and hand it to...his wife. Since apparently he is a golden boy when she is there.

I think what frustrates me the most is he so obviously didn't see me as a person. I am just glad that 98% of my other patients do value the care I bring to the bedside.

When I think back on the situation now I should have taken my tech with me each time I went in the room, but something about the situation made me think at some point he would stop, and just be polite.

Ghost

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

jerks like this are everywhere......and admin will never do anything. Why? They're a payin' customer. When we can get beyond the almighty $$$$, then maybe things will change. Usually, I tell a doc if the patient is making these crude comments, and yes, I chart them. If the patient is well enough to be in this mode, then perhaps they need to move to the next level of care.....

Specializes in Med-Surg/Oncology, Psych.

I had a similar situation today. My first day on a new floor and I'm doing an assessment on a pt. His wife was there and the two of them were just finishing up reciting the Lord's Prayer with the chaplain. No joke - less than 5 minutes after wife and chaplain left the room, he's complaining that the aide didn't fetch some cute nurses to play strip poker with him as he had requested. He wasn't confused or hypoxic, and didn't have a UTI. He was just a gross jerk. I was so shocked and disgusted that I couldn't think of anything to say besides "well, I wouldn't know anything about that" and booked it out of the room. I really wanted to make it clear that I wasn't going to tolerate comments like that, except I totally DID tolerate it because I didn't know what else to do!!! I had a few things afterwards that I would have liked to say, but I also had to take care of this guy for another 5 hours. Does anyone have any tried-and-true techniques for pervs like this, when you want to set them straight but don't have the option of switching patient assignments?

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

"All the nurses here are strictly professionals, but your chaplain said to let him know if you needed anything - shall we call him?"

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.
I had a similar situation today. My first day on a new floor and I'm doing an assessment on a pt. His wife was there and the two of them were just finishing up reciting the Lord's Prayer with the chaplain. No joke - less than 5 minutes after wife and chaplain left the room, he's complaining that the aide didn't fetch some cute nurses to play strip poker with him as he had requested. He wasn't confused or hypoxic, and didn't have a UTI. He was just a gross jerk. I was so shocked and disgusted that I couldn't think of anything to say besides "well, I wouldn't know anything about that" and booked it out of the room. I really wanted to make it clear that I wasn't going to tolerate comments like that, except I totally DID tolerate it because I didn't know what else to do!!! I had a few things afterwards that I would have liked to say, but I also had to take care of this guy for another 5 hours. Does anyone have any tried-and-true techniques for pervs like this, when you want to set them straight but don't have the option of switching patient assignments?

"well, the cute nurse said she wanted a good looking guy with money to play strip poker with!"

Don't know whether his wife would find the article useful, but I certainly would go that route since your mgmt won't do anything to help matters.

Specializes in jack of all trades.

I have been known to let a patient know directly yet constructively that "I am not comfortable with this conversation or your behaviour." It's not out of line for you to let a pt know he is being inappropriate. Usually it works once they know up front you are uncomfortable with the comments. If he gets p'd off about it then he gets p'd off. I have had my rear slapped and my breast grabbed so believe me I have no issue letting them know how I feel about it. When I complained to adm I was told "Oh he's harmless", I learned very quickly the only one going to be proactive and protect me was ME.

Specializes in A myriad of specialties.
i had a similar situation today. my first day on a new floor and i'm doing an assessment on a pt. his wife was there and the two of them were just finishing up reciting the lord's prayer with the chaplain. no joke - less than 5 minutes after wife and chaplain left the room, he's complaining that the aide didn't fetch some cute nurses to play strip poker with him as he had requested. he wasn't confused or hypoxic, and didn't have a uti. he was just a gross jerk. i was so shocked and disgusted that i couldn't think of anything to say besides "well, i wouldn't know anything about that" and booked it out of the room. i really wanted to make it clear that i wasn't going to tolerate comments like that, except i totally did tolerate it because i didn't know what else to do!!! i had a few things afterwards that i would have liked to say, but i also had to take care of this guy for another 5 hours. does anyone have any tried-and-true techniques for pervs like this, when you want to set them straight but don't have the option of switching patient assignments?

no nurse should have to put up with that horse crap!!!!

here's a suggestion: if the patient is married, say: "how about we get your wife in here so you can repeat those inappropriate things to me in front of her?"

another suggestion: "i don't appreciate your sexually harrassing language and behavior. would you like to be sued for such behavior?"

" i wonder what your wife would think of that"

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

"Oh he's harmless" :angryfire :banghead: This kind of adm ignorance puts the patient at risk, because these type of patients are avoided like the plague by some nurses (who can blame them). I say forget adm, call the police and file assault charges.

I am disturbed that some of the comments here--maybe they weren't meant seriously, I hope not, but I think some nurses would take them as serious advice--would come off as being flirtatious. (Some of them are flat-out inappropriate, too.) Keep in mind that these patients are looking for any kind of response and will read what they can into whatever you say. Do not give it back to him. Those comments about his wife could be twisted into flirtation by a twisted mind.

The only appropriate response is "It is inappropriate for you to speak to the staff that way." Then leave the room if possible. Repeat as necessary. Obviously report to management as well, but I know some admins are not helpful in situations like this. Simply keep repeating that line and encourage the other nurses to do the same. When it isn't fun anymore, when he doesn't get any kind of reaction out of you (including an angry or embarrassed one), he'll be more likely to stop. No nurse should have to put up with this, of course, but in situations where admin won't step in, we do what we can.

I don't want to be critical, but I think "Did you behave today?" probably came off as flirtatious even though you didn't mean it that way.

With those kind of jerks, give them one warning that their behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Only go into his room with another staff, to act as a witness; if he does it again, just walk out, immediately document the incident and have the witness sign also. Then, take it to your charge or nsg sup and let them talk to him; ask to have a male RN take over his care; if that's not available, someone else should take over his care.

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