Patient - RN Sexual Harrassment

[Ghost Writer RN]

The other week we had a 50 something classic closet case MI on the floor. "I just had some chest pain" turned into numerous coronary blockages that he could never imagine the origin of. (Hmm maybe that you have smoked forever, have been wheelchair bound for years and love donuts more than your wife?)

Well on day one I didn't have the patient, but I had to go in and silence his heparin drip.

"Hey there." He said.

nod

"I just do that to make the sexy nurses come in the room"

raised eyebrow "K, have a good night"

I walked out thankful this obvious perv wasn't mine and vowed not to put foot in the room again. Creeper radar was screaming.

Anyway, I come back a night later and lo and behold he is on my team.

Dammit.

I look around and try to decide if it is worth it to drop him, or just put on my best "don't cross me" face and grin and bear it. I decide, considering I was charge...well I am always charge these days, that I am going to just accept the devil I sort of know. For the most part he is a walkie-talkie...well walkie-wheelie and isn't a whole lot of grief nursing wise.

So I walk in for shift change rounds and the first thing he does is sweep me from head to toe. Now mind you, I am a curvy girl, but I am not VS model or Playboy Bunny. I am a 30 something, German heritage, run of the mill woman. Well anyway, I instantly put on my most stoic face and commence the night. For the most part it goes ok. He asked me at one point if I had a sense of humor, to which I replied "depends on the day".

Ok so my next night, and last night of the week rolls around and I head in expecting the same sort of "hmm maybe she isn't one to cross" mentality from this guy. Yeah...right.

I guess my "did you behave today" was just the right comment to set this guy in "night nurse fever".

His comments ranged from mild "I like to see you sneaking around my room at night" to his morning deal sealer "I just want you to know you gave me a great fantasy for the week".

It took me a minute that morning to clear the white flash of rage that crossed my eyes as I walked out of the room. I refused to go back in there, and when he came out fifteen minutes later to pester me about unhooking him from his heparin drip so he could leave the floor, I must have let the inner feminist shine a bit because after that he became quite crabby I am told. I very flatly informed him that he wasn't even supposed to leave the floor, let alone be unhooked from the one thing that was keeping him from having a massive MI, and turned and walked away.

I talked to my manager about the situation, but of course nothing was done, and I didn't have the energy or care to confront this man on something he was so obviously ignorant of, respect.

So he sits now in the ICU s/p OHS and I am tempted to print an article on sexual harassment of RN's by patients and hand it to...his wife. Since apparently he is a golden boy when she is there.

I think what frustrates me the most is he so obviously didn't see me as a person. I am just glad that 98% of my other patients do value the care I bring to the bedside.

When I think back on the situation now I should have taken my tech with me each time I went in the room, but something about the situation made me think at some point he would stop, and just be polite.

Ghost

[mamamerlee, LPN]

These patients are attempting to control a situation that they know is completely out of their realm. It is okay to say that you are the nurse, and that you are uncomfortable with this behaviour, and you will have to chart everything he says.

Years ago, there was a patient on my floor who always seemed to be grabbing the nurses' breasts. He had had a stroke, and the nurses were dismissing his behaviour as stroke related. When he reached for me, I gently grabbed his wrist, looked him directly in the eye, and said 'NO'. A few days later, there were 5 or six of us transferring him, and he waved his arm around. He started to reach for me, and I said 'NO', and he simply grabbed the other nurse's breast. No one believed me when I said he already knew not to touch me, and everyone needed to tell him 'no'.

I had another patient who would walk up behind the nurse who was at the med cart, and start a shoulder massage. (O FOR THE DAYS WHEN SOME OF THE PATIENTS WERE AMBULATORY!!!) When he touched me, I told him that I was married, and didn't want other men to touch me. He backed off, but later when I was doing the med pass, he commented to other patients "Here comes the Ice Queen". They did not know exactly what he was referring to, but they all disagreed.

We need to set firm limits on inappropriate behaviour of every type, no matter who it initiates it.

[back2bRN]

I am with those who said to be direct, firm and have the expectation that you WILL be treated with courtesy and respect. I also choose to ignore the comments, when that doesn't work I tell them to stop.If you don't engage, some of the time they get the message, especially when there is that look of don't mess with me.