Patient doesn't like me because I'm a "slob"

[Jo Dirt]

I recently took on a home case with a 49 yr. old woman recovering from knee surgery. I was really excited about it because it was just a few minutes from my house, compared to the 30 plus miles I usually have to drive. I've worked for this company for over a year and have always been commended for the job I've done.

The woman also has mental issues like depression. I came in last night and she made me put a sheet on the couch before I sat on it and she acted kind of annoyed by my even being there, later she apologized and said she didn't mean to be nasty.

Today, the staffer called and asked me (per patient's request) if I could maybe shower and wear clean scrubs when I come over. This floored me because I bathe sometimes twice a day, don't smoke and always wear clean clothes (even though they are faded and hang off me, I'm small-framed but very heavy and no matter what I wear it looks sloppy. In other words, it fits one way (wide) but it's way too big as far as length). This woman isn't much to look at but she is very vain, lots of jewlry, make up, goes to get her nails done often. Me, on the other hand, I'm about as plain as a person can get. No frills, homely plain.

The staffer kept apologizing to me and saying she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Of course, I said, my feelings weren't hurt, it was "okay" but inside I'm like,

At any rate, I definitely told her to just pull me off that case and let me know when she finds another, which she said she'd do.

I thought when I chose the nursing profession it would be one that wouldn't judge me by my looks, but I'm finding about as much prejudice here as anything else I've tried to get into.

I'mso embarrassed, I wish I could melt!

[NurseLatteDNP, MSN, DNP, RN]

I am sorry that has happened to you. It sounds very rude.

[Now or Never]

Well, unfortunately you had to experience this type of behavior. You know what? It doesn't matter how much you try sometimes you cannot please EVERYONE. As my mom would say, "you can cut your heart out, stuff your chest cavity with trash and give it to some people on a platter and they would still find fault with you". Also, in this society in which we live there will always be people with prejudices. But, you know what, you continue to keep bettering yourself education-wise, and you continue to keep administering good nursing care and your efforts will definitely be rewarded. If you don't have any issues with your "plain, homely" appearance, then brush your shoulders off and keep on moving. However, if this is a constant looming issue for you then think of ways in which you can build your self esteem and then implement them. Perhaps, you can find a nursing shop that tailors uniforms to your specifications etc. Lastly, NEVER remain in an environment (if you can help it) that compromises how you feel about you! You will be doing yourself a disservice.

In all, keep your head up girl, and continue to keep doing all you can do to make yourself the best nurse/person you can be.

[froghair]

who wants to look after people like that anyway, try and not let it get you down. she's probably sitting at home wollowing (sp) in her own self pity that come day 12 post surgery she'll probably flick off a clot and it will be all over red rover.......

dont mind me im just crusty as ive worked the last 6 nights its been as hot as a *** here and i havnt been sleeping well and i get home and the pool is green:angryfire

[CHATSDALE]

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF [AND SMALL PEOPLE]

if you feel like your uniforms are at fault look around for others which you find comfortable and which show you off for your best advantage but other posts are correct...her problem is in her perception of you and her own mental problems will never see any one as 'good enough'

asking someone to sit on a sheet on a couch is sick sick sick

[Town & Country]

Sounds like she wanted whipping boy instead of a nurse. I imagine you're lucky to be out of there!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

If you bathed and wore clean clothes, then the patient was just being a mean hateful witch. Don't own anything she says.

I can understand your embarrasment at having to be told this by your employer. That must have been akward.

Nurses are not immune to being judged by looks, lifestyle, skin color, weight or anything else.

[tencat]

Let me say good for you for getting out of that situation. There's no reason you should take that kind of crap from anyone. :angryfire No wonder why the woman is depressed, if she treats people like that......

[PsychNightOwl]

Lastly, NEVER remain in an environment (if you can help it) that compromises how you feel about you! You will be doing yourself a disservice.

That is the most sensible, sound piece of advice I have heard today.

[SharonH, RN]

Of course, I said, my feelings weren't hurt, it was "okay" but inside I'm like,

That was NOT okay and I am glad that "person" will be getting another nurse. I am so angry for you, I can't even express what I want to say due to TOS.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Since I am black, I have had patients refuse my care based on my race. Nursing is not immune to discrimination.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I'm so sorry about the race issue. Some people are just idiots. Plain and simple.

I know a patient who tells the office that all of her nurses smell bad.:chuckle The nerve of some people. I'm glad she fired me, I didn't like going to see her. She has fired all but one of the nurses. That nurse told me today that the patient had been complaining about urinary frequency, neg urinalysis, doctor ordered Detrol LA a week ago. At todays visit the nurse asked her about her frequency and she said "oh it's so much better", so the pills are working well? "Yes, they're like a miracle". About then the patients daughter walked in and the nurse mentioned it to her and the daughter said "I haven't even picked up that prescription yet".:chuckle Crazy woman, I'm so glad I'm not seeing her anymore. She lives in a spooky trailer park. :imbar She only puts up with visits so she can keep her home health aide. :angryfire