I work mostly inpatient hospice, and recently we had a family show up with about a dozen kids in tow, teenagers down to preschoolers. Our policy is that anyone can visit 24/7, even pets. Because it's hospice, I have no problem with that because people just don't die on schedule. Usually it's fine. Most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior and we often end up assuring them that we understand. This family though....kids roaming the unit, using both family rooms, being loud, and parents mostly ignoring them. After I went and talked to them once, reminding them that they're in a building full of sick people who need their sleep (night shift), it actually seemed to get worse. The nurse (I'm a CNA) went and told the dad he had to get the kids under control, and the dad said, "We can't control these kids! They don't listen to us!"
:banghead:
Ladies and gentlemen.....the future. Weep for it.
At least they left. Poor grandma and her neighbors probably appreciate the quiet. Yeesh.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
On topic:
We recently had the patriarch of a very large family in my NTICU. They took over our waiting room and the surgical waiting room in the main lobby. They had bags of trash, food, and personal items stacked up against the walls.
They had a newborn, half a dozen small children, and approx. 30 adults. Many were from over 1000 miles away.
Instead of using the hospitality house, they camped in our hospital. They let the kids run around and scream. They stole the coffee from Ambulatory Surgery's waiting room.
They were so bad, security had 4 complaints on them in the first four hours of my shift one night. The family members were even unlocking the main doors in the middle of the night and propping them open.
Of course, racism was blamed for our refusal to let the family camp in the hospital.
Ironically, if the family had been respectful, we would have quietly looked the other way.
I just can't even imagine that. Do people think the H stands for Hilton so they can stay there as long as they want? I mean I understand the one family member staying but no need for a family reunion. Especially if family is going to be rude & inconsiderate, not just the kids running crazy.
I'm not saying you are a bad parent or your child will turn out like my brother. It was very hard watching him change over the years.
For the sake of your goofy, creative, lovable kid, I just ask that you be careful with him. It hurts my heart to see perfectly wonderful children lose their joy in life.
Most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior and we often end up assuring them that we understand.
I am confused by the responses to the OP. The statement that "most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior" does not support the statement that "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" is "dying away."
I am neither a nurse nor a parent, so feel free to educate me.
"I am neither a nurse nor a parent, so feel free to educate me"
Go to nursing school. Have a baby.
Then, have an incredibly bad day at work and write about it to complete strangers on an anonymous board that is flat. No voice inflection, no facial expression and then someone of course comments, trying to be understanding. Someone else makes wide broad sweeping statements about kids with special needs. OF COURSE someone is going to be offended.
Pretty much anything you say here is going to be misunderstood by someone.
Two years ago mine was a brand new hospital and this reminds me of two separate incidents. The first was we had two guest family rooms available for family that was from out of town or what have you, there was no charge for these room. One family completely trashed the place and just left, garbage everywhere. The space was turned into office storage. You now need a place to stay, you are on your own. The second was a family that kept gouging up the walls every time they set the recliners back because they kept them right up against the wall. This happened in the first week the hospital was open, the patient was there for a month. Every room had a recliner that turned into a bed. The recliners are all gone, a chair rail has been installed in every room and only hard straight back chairs are available.
I work mostly inpatient hospice, and recently we had a family show up with about a dozen kids in tow, teenagers down to preschoolers. Our policy is that anyone can visit 24/7, even pets. Because it's hospice, I have no problem with that because people just don't die on schedule. Usually it's fine. Most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior and we often end up assuring them that we understand. This family though....kids roaming the unit, using both family rooms, being loud, and parents mostly ignoring them. After I went and talked to them once, reminding them that they're in a building full of sick people who need their sleep (night shift), it actually seemed to get worse. The nurse (I'm a CNA) went and told the dad he had to get the kids under control, and the dad said, "We can't control these kids! They don't listen to us!"
You didn't ask for advice.
I would have told the adults that if they cannot control the "kids" then the "kids" may not remain on the premises unless they are able to follow some basic rules of privacy and respect. I would then outline the facility guidelines for visitor behavior and responsibility.
I would remind the visiting adults that hospice promotes the presence of family but ONLY until that presence becomes intrusive or detrimental to the care and health environment of their loved one or other patients.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I can't "like" the above post enough!!! Please take add/adhd out of this thread. It's about unruly visitors and in this instance they happen to be children.Children should be taught how to behave out in public and removed promptly if they are unable to do so.The same goes for any bunch of unruly visitors-it's a flipping HOSPICE.
Just because a person/child has been diagnosed with a personality disorder does not give them carte blanche to act out in a hospital or any other public setting. If you can't control your kids then the kids need to stay home or somewhere else other than the hospital waiting room.
I'm going to bow out of the thread. Being told I'm not welcome in public because my son has a neuro condition makes me feel less than happy to be a part of this conversation. Good night.
Just curious, but I am assuming your unit doesn't offer a play room, or 'kids room', with games and other things to do? I love the 'kiddie chambers' I have seen in many facilities. They are very helpful in distracting children!
I tend to think that there are some places where young children should remain only briefly (hospitals, Hospice, LTC, visiting a sick relative, etc.). Time and again, if they are in these environments longer than absolutely necessary, they are going to act out. Especially if there isn't a nice activity filled playroom that is welcoming to a child.
Most children do not want to be in these big scary institutions, and have been dragged along by their family. Not that they shouldn't still try to behave, but these places tend to be frightening, and upsetting, for a lot of children (and adults!). If they are there to see a sick relative, it is even more upsetting. And if Mom and Dad are also upset because they are losing a sick relative, children sense that, and it makes them nervous. Mom and Dad, in their own grief process, may not be giving the children the attention that they had been accustomed to since before the loved one became ill.
I try to think back to the time when my Grandmother passed. All the children, grand-children, and great-grandchildren came to the hospital. I was young--8 years old--and I was absolutely terrified. She looked so sick, and everyone in the hallways looked sick. Almost like they were wearing costumes, and they all looked so much older than my Grandmother. The doctors were huge and scary, and it was cold. Everything seemed so cold. And all the people I knew in the world were in one big room, and they were all sad and crying. It was really upsetting. I don't remember exactly what my cousins and I did, but I know we didn't behave well (and my parents taught me way better!), and ran around the place.
I don't know what the correct answer is, but when I get frustrated at what seems like spoiled brat behavior, I try to think of what it must feel like to be a kid in a place like this. And I try to step in and help, if I can, to ease the tension just a little bit.
Otherwise, I just lock myself in the closet until they go away.
:banghead:
OrganizedChaos, LVN
1 Article; 6,883 Posts
I just can't even imagine that. Do people think the H stands for Hilton so they can stay there as long as they want? I mean I understand the one family member staying but no need for a family reunion. Especially if family is going to be rude & inconsiderate, not just the kids running crazy.