I work mostly inpatient hospice, and recently we had a family show up with about a dozen kids in tow, teenagers down to preschoolers. Our policy is that anyone can visit 24/7, even pets. Because it's hospice, I have no problem with that because people just don't die on schedule. Usually it's fine. Most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior and we often end up assuring them that we understand. This family though....kids roaming the unit, using both family rooms, being loud, and parents mostly ignoring them. After I went and talked to them once, reminding them that they're in a building full of sick people who need their sleep (night shift), it actually seemed to get worse. The nurse (I'm a CNA) went and told the dad he had to get the kids under control, and the dad said, "We can't control these kids! They don't listen to us!"
:banghead:
Ladies and gentlemen.....the future. Weep for it.
At least they left. Poor grandma and her neighbors probably appreciate the quiet. Yeesh.
With all due respect (and I do mean that), it seems the first two quotes above contradict sharply with the last one.
You are very clear about when and whether you will remove your child from an area where he is causing a disruption. Ok. But then you say (in bolding above) that if children are causing a disruption, staff should ask them to relocate, or simply leave.
RNsRWe, and dudette10,
I think there is some misunderstanding here.
My reply was to a very specific sentence which, as I interpreted it (reading from my phone), addressed a generalized theory on parenting, as in removing a child that is having some difficulty because the 'group' wants you to do so (i.e. sporting event, supermarket, restaurant, etc.). Otherwise, conforming to a group standard because they are in the majority, and you are only one, so be a lemming and follow whatever the group dictates. I wasn't addressing the Hospice situation with that remark.
I hoped to convey agreement with avoiding hospitals when one has a child that may exhibit behavior that is disruptive to patients by stating that I don't take my son to hospitals because it upsets him (as in, the conditions exist for a major meltdown that would be disturbing for him, and every patient in his vicinity).
Patient rights are far different ballgame than what I was addressing in my reply to the sentence I quoted. I don't see patients as a 'group' trying to judge and dictate to me (or my child) conformance to their expected behavior. Patients have the right to privacy, and peace, in hospital. And if my child could not be distracted in a play room, his behavior isolated and controlled, I would immediately remove him. As a visitor, one does not get rights equal to those of a paying patient and is obligated to leave them in peace.
In earlier remarks, I specifically state that a hospital/LTC is a place where young children should be permitted only briefly. It is too confusing and upsetting to the child, and potentially a disturbance to patients.
So, I apologize for the misunderstandings, and my lack of clarity. Operating from an iphone today, and my eyes are old and the screen is small!
That article from the Wash Post is funny. If a three year old threw a fit in a store, then when the father picked the kid up, the kid punched his father in the crotch and immediately laughed about it, the discipline problems occurred long before they ever entered the Target store.
I love how some the commenters immediately jump to saying, "Maybe your kid has a behavioral issue" as if all badly-behaved children have a medical problem. (Goodness, has it really come to that?!) Yeah, his medical problem is that he's a brat, and his parents have a long road to get him back in line if he's already three!
Sorry, I can't seriously consider insights from that particular author.
Ah, thank you for that. I thought it odd that the contradicting statements came from one person in one post.....and that you would be advocating a "screw 'em all, it's MY kid that counts" kind of thinking. But.....that's what I saw. Thanks again for clarifying.
I want to take some time to read over this article; right now I'm just scanning and speed-typing, lol, so when I can THINK I'll review it.
As a side note....I've got a bumper sticker that says "Moms of Special Needs Kids Rock" but felt it was just too darned stupid to put on my car. If you have one, apologies, LOL, but....well, we rock anyway
I want to take some time to read over this article; right now I'm just scanning and speed-typing, lol, so when I can THINK I'll review it.
As a side note....I've got a bumper sticker that says "Moms of Special Needs Kids Rock" but felt it was just too darned stupid to put on my car. If you have one, apologies, LOL, but....well, we rock anyway
I thought the article provided an interesting take on the issue that I had never heard before, so it was worth reviewing.
And indeed, we DO rock! I do not have the sticker, though. Lame.
I am confused by the responses to the OP. The statement that "most parents are almost hypervigilant about their kids' behavior" does not support the statement that "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" is "dying away."
I am neither a nurse nor a parent, so feel free to educate me.
Ummm...the OP said that most parents are aware and hypervigilant about their kids' behavior and how I interpreted it, apologetic if their kids do something disruptive. OP goes on to state that they then reassure the parents that the staff understands, again how I interpreted it, the staff understands that kids are not always perfectly behaved and may at times be disruptive and need redirected.
The OP then states "This family though.... and goes on to describe how the parents allowed the children to run wild.
Therefore, I thought the OP was venting their frustrations of disrespectful families/children hence my respect comment.
My sister, who's not a nurse, frequently reminds me that our grandchildren's generation will take care of us when we're old.
She also reminds me they'll be running the country.
We both shudder in horror at the thought.
I'm an elementary school nurse. I truly do fear for us when we're older. Politically, medically and socially. And I do blame our generation. We wanted to give our kids everything, and never said "No"; we wanted to be friends instead of parents. I've seen time and time again where said children are now parents, who never had boundaries, act like gigantic 2 year old brats having tantrums. They wonder why they can't handle their own kids??
Thought I'd come back with an update. A good one. Pediatric unit, large family of hospice child in the unit. They did get a little loud at times but part of it was because the younger members of the hospice family were having a great time playing with one of the respite kids. :) The women cooked a feast of tacos (with freshly fried shells), rice, and beans in our kitchen, and invited the staff and the little girl they were playing with to share. They also cleaned the whole kitchen and picked up the family room, before they took the other children home to bed at a reasonable hour. Faith in humanity partially restored. Because if ever selfishness would be justified, I would think it's when your child is dying. Yet it seems not to have occurred to these folks. Refreshing.
Plus the unit smelled REALLY GOOD for quite a while, and tacos were delish.
I got a dirty needle stick because of kids running around in an inpt hospice- a kid ran into me when I was withdrawing the needle after starting an IV. I did not appreciate it at all. Kids and pets running around in a unit are dangerous.
If the kids don't listen to their parents, they often will listen when reprimanded by someone they don't know- such as the nurse.
The parents need to be told that if the children will not behave, they will have to leave.
:banghead:
monkeyhq
242 Posts
RNsRWe, and dudette10,
I think there is some misunderstanding here.
My reply was to a very specific sentence which, as I interpreted it (reading from my phone), addressed a generalized theory on parenting, as in removing a child that is having some difficulty because the 'group' wants you to do so (i.e. sporting event, supermarket, restaurant, etc.). Otherwise, conforming to a group standard because they are in the majority, and you are only one, so be a lemming and follow whatever the group dictates. I wasn't addressing the Hospice situation with that remark.
I hoped to convey agreement with avoiding hospitals when one has a child that may exhibit behavior that is disruptive to patients by stating that I don't take my son to hospitals because it upsets him (as in, the conditions exist for a major meltdown that would be disturbing for him, and every patient in his vicinity).
Patient rights are far different ballgame than what I was addressing in my reply to the sentence I quoted. I don't see patients as a 'group' trying to judge and dictate to me (or my child) conformance to their expected behavior. Patients have the right to privacy, and peace, in hospital. And if my child could not be distracted in a play room, his behavior isolated and controlled, I would immediately remove him. As a visitor, one does not get rights equal to those of a paying patient and is obligated to leave them in peace.
In earlier remarks, I specifically state that a hospital/LTC is a place where young children should be permitted only briefly. It is too confusing and upsetting to the child, and potentially a disturbance to patients.
So, I apologize for the misunderstandings, and my lack of clarity. Operating from an iphone today, and my eyes are old and the screen is small!
Here is the article I referenced from the Washington Post "Kids in Public Places"