Old nurse won't retire

[Emergent]

I have a work friend, we'll call her Barbara, at my side job. She's over 70 and works part time in the ER of a tiny hospital. Since I've worked there she's given several deadlines of when she's going to retire, the latest of which was this October. She made a beaded necklace with the amount of beads of days left, taking one bead off at a time, sharing with everyone, even the DNS, who took her off on the Oct schedule.

I talked to her yesterday and she let me know that she's changed her mind again. She says that with the cold days approaching, this isn't the right season to retire, she'll just be sitting in her house. She said that she only has to give 3 weeks notice, and hasn't done that yet, and was upset that she was off the October schedule.

Barbara is a very likable woman, but frankly, she needs to retire. She is not very fit, and limps with a bad leg. She calls in frequently, which has a bigger impact on a small hospital. She never had kids and her husband died years ago. She doesn't seem to have hobbies.

I'm afraid that management will start writing her up for her attendance to get rid of her. Even though I love her, she doesn't pull her weight anymore. I don't want to sign up for shifts with her and have to do 3/4 of the work. It'd be a shame to see her be forced out.

One time she told me to let her know when she is starting to slip. Well, that's been going on for a while, but people are being patient since she's been sharing with all about her impending retirement. She needs to retire with dignity as planned .

[Aunt Slappy]

How is this woman any different about pulling her load than the young nurses who are looking at FB while at work,talking with an ear piece,chatting up the residents,or outrageously throwing themselves at the attending males, the respiratory crew or anything with a dick and balls.How many call bells go unanswered because Miss Chatty Cathy is too busy socializing,showing her latest vacation trip photos or describing how she cooked for 20+ for dinner and now feels so tired.Then Miss big mouth has to regale everyone with what she did in bed with her boyfriend/husband the week before and if there is any time left she will spend it looking over the schedule trying to get three weeks off when everyone else is limited to two.

It is a difficult sensitive situation and should be handled with the same respect we show for any patient off the street.How callous some of the comments here,shame on you.That nurse could be your own mother.

All of them should be written up over and over and then fired if they don't reform and do their jobs. My answer to you is that those nurses are actually worse because they are choosing not to pull their weight. However, any time a nurse forces his/her colleagues to do part of his/her job as a regular expectation of working with them, that's unacceptable. Whether through neglect or disability, that's not okay and it needs to be remedied. We all choose to help colleagues when we can out of collegiality and respect, but regularly doing someone else's work on top of your own should never be an expectation. If I were the younger nurse forced to do this other nurse's work with no relief in sight, I'd quit. Actually that's one of the things that made me leave my first nursing job.

PS you sound extremely bitter and burned out, borderline misogynistic in your post. Is it perhaps time for a job change on your part?

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

So, are her colleagues supposed to pretend that she's carrying her weight and that working with her is fair when those things are clearly not true? They're supposed to play make believe to support her ego?

No. They can't do that. That's why it's so sad, IMO. It's just one of those sad things that isn't anyone's fault.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

That doesn't give you any justification to keep collecting a paycheck for a job you're not doing.

While you are completely right about collecting a paycheck for a job you're not doing, I respectfully submit that there are many who are nearing retirement and still can run circles around nurses half their age. And that there are many newer nurses who are collecting paychecks while the elderly nurse nearing retirement keeps and eye on them because they are not yet astute enough to recognize the signs of their patient preparing to circle the drain.

[peachtreednurse, RN]

WARNING: Know ahead of reading this, that it is a sincere gut felt response from my own history and experience, that whether laudable or indefensible will not be expanded upon, by me.

First of all, nurses are nothing if not realists. Let's not kid ourselves, in all of her years she must've seen other persons, workmates, family,downside, let-go, laid-off, patients, in decline transferred directly from acute care to LTC facilities; even physicians and surgeons offered alternative positions usually as "consultants" when their skills become less than stellar and their memories and ability for recall diminished to levels less than acceptable. One of a few, being an attractive, perfectly mannered, most dapper of dressers reduced to handing out grocery carts to unappreciative shoppers totally unaware of who he had been, once upon a time well before he knew Alzheimer's would claim him.

Believe me if she's been any kind of nurse she's already aware that she is past her prime physically and if she is still shrewd enough may be milking it for all it's worth, because let's face it young, new nurses are nothing if not sympathetic, empathetic, alleviators of distress and discomfort. Been there often enough to have seen it done multiple times to others, not me, thankfully. However I am nothing if not a consummate observer of the human condition which has made me a bit cynical and perhaps too critical.

Anyway, if her thinking is affected she is a threat to anyone under her care and I'm not talking about a brief forgetfulness but a lack of recall, misnaming patients, misreporting, miscalculating, or serious lapses of judgement, she needs a second look as far as her safety and effectiveness.I'm quite sure she's not sharing her seniority perks benefits or pay with anyone continually picking up the slack. Working this length of time, she must also be aware that being a team member reflects a give and take, offerings of help given freely but not indefinitely one-sided, that although not mandated as such at some point reciprocal. If she falls short now, what next and who will be left holding the bag of responsibility, long before they're able to retire.

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

"Barbara is a very likable woman, but frankly, she needs to retire. She is not very fit, and limps with a bad leg. She calls in frequently, which has a bigger impact on a small hospital. She never had kids and her husband died years ago. She doesn't seem to have hobbies.

I'm afraid that management will start writing her up for her attendance to get rid of her. Even though I love her, she doesn't pull her weight anymore. I don't want to sign up for shifts with her and have to do 3/4 of the work. It'd be a shame to see her be forced out.

One time she told me to let her know when she is starting to slip. Well, that's been going on for a while, but people are being patient since she's been sharing with all about her impending retirement. She needs to retire with dignity as planned .

I can see multiple issues here, but the biggest ones are 1) she appears to be a liability, not an asset and 2) she has asked you to let her know when she started slipping. Even so, I am not sure that I would want to bear that burden. How genuine was her request? Was it a passing comment?

Her actions are speaking louder than words. It appears she does NOT want to retire. However, she calls in frequently and is not pulling her weight when she works with you. You can only control your actions in this situation. You will go nutty trying to control or influence hers. If you don't want to sign up to work with her, don't. If the grief it will cause you is not worth the money you earn being there, just don't do it if you have a choice.

The next part is harder. You have to stop doing her work. I'm happy to help others, but I also have a responsibility to make sure MY patients are cared for. As I explained to a CNA who liked to ask me to do her tasks, it is not efficient for me to do my work AND her work routinely. This goes for the 22 year old who stares at Instagram for the better part of the morning. It's one thing to help boost people in bed, but I'm not going to pass your meds because you decided to be on your phone from 8-10.

Finally, when something happens and it might, you have to address it as a patient safety issue only. It's not about her being older, or having a limp, or no hobbies.

[djh123]

I'm not spring chicken myself. But your story makes me a little sad for her. Not just that she's not pulling her weight at work, but that she seems to not have enough (or any?) passions at home. I've seen/heard this over and over during my life. I've been the opposite - I have too many other things I'd like to do, yet I haven't devoted enough time to any of them. But anyway, I wish I had something good to say regarding her. We had a nurse who was even older at my previous job, and I think she was still doing an ok job. It's not just the age, it's the physical condition, dexterity, energy level, mental agility...

[TriciaJ, RN]

Maybe this job is what keeps Barbara going. Please leave her alone. It's not up to you to decide what she should do with her life tbh. If management feels she's unfit and wants to terminate her or force her into retirement, it's up to them. I've come across quite a few older, retired nurses, who have come back in one capacity or another because nursing is all they've ever known and have no idea what to do with themselves otherwise. :)

It's all any of us have ever known because working makes it hard to do a lot of other things. But there are a lot of other things to do, once you're retired and have the chance.

This is what we know: 1. The OP thinks highly of Barbara 2. Barbara is not pulling her load, in quality or quantity and frequent call-outs. 3. Barbara could leave now in a dignified way 4. But she appears destined to be forced out, which will be hard for everyone to see happen.

It doesn't matter if Barbara is driven by ego, fear or any other factor. The fact is she is collecting a paycheque and others are having to pick up her slack. That's not fair to anyone. What if she makes a terrible error before she's out and has to end a long respectable career in disgrace?

There is life after retirement. I hope Barbara can see that and leave before she creates any more ill will or worse.

[Aunt Slappy]

As to the issue of her not having a spouse or kids, and being alone as she ages, the vast majority of the time that's a choice. I have sympathy for people who are alone because they suffered tragedies along the way. However I have none for people who chose to remain alone throughout life and now have the consequences of that choice staring them in the face.

[Wuzzie]

As to the issue of her not having a spouse or kids, and being alone as she ages, the vast majority of the time that's a choice. I have sympathy for people who are alone because they suffered tragedies along the way. However I have none for people who chose to remain alone throughout life and now have the consequences of that choice staring them in the face.

I truly don't mean to be argumentative but you know this how? I'd give anything to be married and have children but it just didn't happen that way. Not because I chose to be alone but because that's just how things worked out for me. As a nurse I've met many, many lonely elderly people. None of them chose to be old and alone. Regardless of their circumstances don't you think most humans deserve a certain degree of compassion when they face such loneliness? Maybe it's my mortality poking at me or the fact that I might someday be in a similar place but this whole situation makes me sad. It's bad for everyone involved.

[Aunt Slappy]

I truly don't mean to be argumentative but you know this how?

I don't, which is why I qualified my statement.

As to your statement about no one choosing to be old and alone, that's patently ridiculous. The fact that some people don't like how their choices turn out in no way invalidates the fact that they made them.

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

How is this woman any different about pulling her load than the young nurses who are looking at FB while at work,talking with an ear piece,chatting up the residents,or outrageously throwing themselves at the attending males, the respiratory crew or anything with a dick and balls.How many call bells go unanswered because Miss Chatty Cathy is too busy socializing,showing her latest vacation trip photos or describing how she cooked for 20+ for dinner and now feels so tired.Then Miss big mouth has to regale everyone with what she did in bed with her boyfriend/husband the week before and if there is any time left she will spend it looking over the schedule trying to get three weeks off when everyone else is limited to two.

It is a difficult sensitive situation and should be handled with the same respect we show for any patient off the street.How callous some of the comments here,shame on you.That nurse could be your own mother.

fyi not all young nurses spend time on their phones at work... I actually leave my phone in my locker unless it's my break to avoid distractions and have many coworkers of all ages that do the same. I don't think we should make generalizations like "all young nurses are on Snapchat the whole 12 hour shift" or assume that all older nurses need to retire by a certain age. Case by case basis. A mix of ages and experience in nursing is necessary in my opinion. In the situation discussed in this thread it does sound like this particular older nurse needs to retire or at least move to a slower paced, less physical department than the ER. I agree with above posters that although it will be difficult she may prefer to receive a kind assessment of her situation from a friend than be left for management to deal with. I have seen some older nurses at my hospital move to the outpatient clinics or telephone triage department if only their physical well being was keeping them from working on the floors. I really hope it works out for your friend and I also like the post about keeping in touch with retired coworkers =)

[Wuzzie]

I don't, which is why I qualified my statement.

As to your statement about no one choosing to be old and alone, that's patently ridiculous. The fact that some people don't like how their choices turn out in no way invalidates the fact that they made them.

But I didn't say "no one" chooses to be old an alone. Show me where I did. I said most of the ones I've encountered didn't. There's nothing ridiculous in that. I disagree with your supposition that the "vast majority" do because there isn't any basis to this. It might be your experience and if that is the case I'm sorry you've been surrounded by such unpleasantness. That has not been my experience.