I have a work friend, we'll call her Barbara, at my side job. She's over 70 and works part time in the ER of a tiny hospital. Since I've worked there she's given several deadlines of when she's going to retire, the latest of which was this October. She made a beaded necklace with the amount of beads of days left, taking one bead off at a time, sharing with everyone, even the DNS, who took her off on the Oct schedule.
I talked to her yesterday and she let me know that she's changed her mind again. She says that with the cold days approaching, this isn't the right season to retire, she'll just be sitting in her house. She said that she only has to give 3 weeks notice, and hasn't done that yet, and was upset that she was off the October schedule.
Barbara is a very likable woman, but frankly, she needs to retire. She is not very fit, and limps with a bad leg. She calls in frequently, which has a bigger impact on a small hospital. She never had kids and her husband died years ago. She doesn't seem to have hobbies.
I'm afraid that management will start writing her up for her attendance to get rid of her. Even though I love her, she doesn't pull her weight anymore. I don't want to sign up for shifts with her and have to do 3/4 of the work. It'd be a shame to see her be forced out.
One time she told me to let her know when she is starting to slip. Well, that's been going on for a while, but people are being patient since she's been sharing with all about her impending retirement. She needs to retire with dignity as planned .
It has only taken 1 day to go from "How do I resolve this issue with an elder co-worker," to "Serves you right if you don't have family and are going to die alone and unloved."
This is one of the reasons I retired from nursing as I was fed up of the ********** from my female colleagues. Before anyone says anything, I loved them dearly (mostly) but I wished they would just shut up every now and then.
OK, back to the problem at hand; retirement is a big step and also a very frightening one if you are not truly prepared financially and socially. Barbara (remember her?) is possibly scared and needs support. She needs reminding that she is no longer able to function as she did (a 70 year old in ER, are you kidding me?). Perhaps she needs taken out of ER and given something less demanding. Whatever way she does it she needs to do it on HER terms before management do it on theirs.
We all age - there's no getting around that fact. As nurses we have both physical and mental qualifications that need to be met. There will come a time for many of us to realize (or have pointed out to us) that we can't keep up.
Again many reasons for this.
Life doesn't always turn out the way we would like it to be. Back to the original post - it seems as though Barbara has given you (Emergent) an out - she has admitted in the past that maybe she should retire. Obviously she has said this to management as they have taken her off the October schedule. Maybe point out that should could go somewhere warm for the winter? Volunteer at xyz place?
While you want to be nice to Barbara, in the end patient safety would be my breaking point - when I'm not safe with pts I hope that I know it or that someone will tell me.
What does this mean? People should be in denial about a co-worker's diminished work ability and/or lie about it until the person is "emotionally" ready to retire?
While you are completely right about collecting a paycheck for a job you're not doing, I respectfully submit that there are many who are nearing retirement and still can run circles around nurses half their age. And that there are many newer nurses who are collecting paychecks while the elderly nurse nearing retirement keeps and eye on them because they are not yet astute enough to recognize the signs of their patient preparing to circle the drain.
It has only taken 1 day to go from "How do I resolve this issue with an elder co-worker," to "Serves you right if you don't have family and are going to die alone and unloved."
This is one of the reasons I retired from nursing as I was fed up of the ********* from my female colleagues. Before anyone says anything, I loved them dearly (mostly) but I wished they would just shut up every now and then.
To be fair, we really only have two posters making crude and/or mean and judgmental posts. One female (no sympathy for people who weren't able to marry or have children) and one male (the young nurses are too busy going after anything "with dick and balls").
The rest of the posters have shown empathy for the older nurse, but perhaps differ in how they believe it should be handled.
How is this woman any different about pulling her load than the young nurses who are looking at FB while at work,talking with an ear piece,chatting up the residents,or outrageously throwing themselves at the attending males, the respiratory crew or anything with a dick and balls.How many call bells go unanswered because Miss Chatty Cathy is too busy socializing,showing her latest vacation trip photos or describing how she cooked for 20+ for dinner and now feels so tired.Then Miss big mouth has to regale everyone with what she did in bed with her boyfriend/husband the week before and if there is any time left she will spend it looking over the schedule trying to get three weeks off when everyone else is limited to two.
It is a difficult sensitive situation and should be handled with the same respect we show for any patient off the street.How callous some of the comments here,shame on you.That nurse could be your own mother.
OK, back to the problem at hand; retirement is a big step and also a very frightening one if you are not truly prepared financially and socially.
I was wondering if possibly finances come into play with her. Anyone can assume anything they want about her finances, but unless they are controlling her pocketbook, they don't have a clue. The way the dynamics of the few pensions (that still exist) change every time we turn around, she may not have the resources she thought she would. You never know, she may have some medical bills or been a victim of a scam, etc, that has set her back. Thus, could be the reluctance to retire. I just worry about the effects on teammates. I would talk to a trusted teammate to address with her, or management, about the future course of her employment and how everyone else is effected
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
That's not what I said at all. I made my statements only about people who CHOOSE not to have a family. You need to re-read what I actually said.
But how do we know who CHOOSES not to have a family? A lot of people make the most of the hand they're dealt, but present it to others as though it were a choice. It's called saving face. And what does that have to do with Barbara, anyway?
Barbara is still on the payroll, but not functioning as required. We probably never will know whether it's finances, fear, all or neither that's making it difficult for her to take the big step. I don't get that Emergent is being ageist; she is dealing with the dilemma of a nice person who is no longer pulling her weight. That means Emergent and others now have to pick up the slack and watch while Barbara finally gets the big boot. Not the way you want to see someone end their career.
I really hope it isn't finances keeping Barbara stuck. Everything else is just a matter for Barbara to get her head around. Finances would be a much harder to resolve situation. I wish luck to everyone involved.
Specializes in hospice, LTC, public health, occupational health.
But how do we know who CHOOSES not to have a family?
Many people will tell you, loudly and proudly, all about it.
A lot of people make the most of the hand they're dealt, but present it to others as though it were a choice. It's called saving face.
If you lie, and people believe you, whose fault is that?
Anyway, my comment was that IF Barbara is one of those people who actively chose never to have a family, then I really have no sympathy for the "old and alone" trope because she chose that. This comment does not apply to people who did not actively choose not to have a family. The people who are taking this personally, who claim they didn't choose how their life turned out, have no reason to take it personally. If they are, perhaps they need to figure out why that is. In any case, I will comment no further in this vein.
GrumpyRN, NP
1,344 Posts
Well done ladies!!!
It has only taken 1 day to go from "How do I resolve this issue with an elder co-worker," to "Serves you right if you don't have family and are going to die alone and unloved."
This is one of the reasons I retired from nursing as I was fed up of the ********** from my female colleagues. Before anyone says anything, I loved them dearly (mostly) but I wished they would just shut up every now and then.
OK, back to the problem at hand; retirement is a big step and also a very frightening one if you are not truly prepared financially and socially. Barbara (remember her?) is possibly scared and needs support. She needs reminding that she is no longer able to function as she did (a 70 year old in ER, are you kidding me?). Perhaps she needs taken out of ER and given something less demanding. Whatever way she does it she needs to do it on HER terms before management do it on theirs.