Old Ladies Having Babies

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 18, 2004

I doubt anyone thought Senator Strom Thurmond was ethically irresponsible for having five little kids with his young wife when he was an "old" man.

I did.

I also thought the same about actor Anthony Quinn, who was what, 80, when his kid was born. And died when this kid was 2? I'll never forget the interview i saw of him on the Tonight Show, where he was BRAGGING about being able to have this kid. He seemed more focused on that than the kid himself.

Is it fair to the kids, knowing that the fathers wouldn't live to see their 5th birthday (referring to dads that are in their 70's and 80's)? That's what i'm not understanding. I can't help but feel that there are some who do not think of the consequences.

Mermaid4 · Nov 18, 2004

I don't get why anyone has the right to judge...I thought that before I became a parent in my forties and I believe that now, otherwise, people should be chastized for having the gall to die unexpectedly, and probably there are some out there who disagree with military people or active duty persons having kids "in case they might die." I just don't get it....

Mulan · Nov 18, 2004

I don't see where anyone is "judging" anyone else. Some people seem to be very defensive.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Nov 18, 2004

Mom was 35 when she had my older sister; 41 when she had me; 43 when she had my brother; and 46 when she had my second brother. We all were wanted and showered with love. Downside: Dad died when I was 12 (he was 59); mom died when I was just 37 (she was 79). Nevertheless, I am very glad to be here and very thankful for the time that I had with my wonderful parents.

Mermaid4 · Nov 18, 2004

With regard to the "some people seem defensive", feel free to refer to me if you are referring to me. I'm not defensive, just genuinely floored that people would care to involve themselves in such a personal element of other people's lives. As a delivery nurse who sees all ages of moms delivering, I don't judge them, I simply care for them and try to provide services they may need. Period. So, while I may seem "defensive", I just feel that the issue is not one that people not in the situation have any part in..I guess I should offer the cursory" I respect others opinions," since I do, but hey, if it doesn't affect you personally, why do you care? I really, as I said before, just don't get that...Maybe the person who made the defensive statement should examine her own defensiveness....I really don't care what others do in this regard, but apparently, a lot of people do...bringing up the issue of military is close to home because my state is so liberal that I am CERTAIN that will be an issue ( should active duty troops deployed in unstable areas have children_, because it has come up. I was merely comparing the two. Interesting choice of comment Mulan..Wonder how old YOU are?????

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Nov 18, 2004

a gentle reminder to avoid personal attacks. please avoid inflammatory or accusatory statements and keep to the topic at hand. thank you.

Mermaid4 · Nov 18, 2004

No personal attack was made or received by me..Lets be clear on that....Thanks for your concern and message received. Asking a person how old they is is not an attack, but a question. It interests me that someone would consider a simple question anything more. Thats the problem with most discussions these days, unfortunately....Will do.

been there · Nov 18, 2004

I agree with
it's not the older mothers i would feel sorry for but the kids. imagine the kid who's mom and father (no one ever mentioned how old these men are, which is equally wrong) who's parents are that old. they are too old to run and play, through a football...
i think there is an age where it is too old thin of it this way a 50 year old has a kid, when the kid is 20 the mom is 70, if she survives. and to be that young and possibly haveing to handle an ailing parent would be very difficult.

Why shouldn't a 50+ year old be able to run and play? I'm 64 and I do it just fine with my 9 mo old, 13 yr old and 17 yr old grandkids. Kids with "older" parents don't worry about what other people think. Most of their friends have divorced parents. At least the older generation chooses and raises the child with love. They aren't working two jobs so they can buy a new car that looks "cool" or a new wardrobe each year to keep up with fashion. They make cookies, they cook real meals and they snuggle and love their kids. The only problem I have is the danger of having a genetically defective child, which, by the way, is just as loved as a "normal" child. We "over 50" people are not aged beyond belief nor are we ready for the rocking chair. We've just decided on the importance of life instead of accumulating things. I've yet to see a 20 year old who resents having to see to the care of the mother he dearly loves. Love is not aged-based. I crawl around in the grass with my grandkids following one ant just to see where it goes or to catch baby frogs. We lay out on the driveway on blankets at night to watch for shooting stars and hunt for fireflies in the tall grass. This is what raising a child is about.

JUSTYSMOM · Nov 18, 2004

Personally, I would not want to go through a pregnancy and or start having babies in my fifties or later. But that's just me. I will not judge anyone else who chooses to do so.

Science has come a long way. It was only in the 70's that the first "test tube" baby was conceived. I thank god every day for scientific advances. My son was conceived the same way. I had ectopic pregnancys that resulted in the removal of my fallopian tubes. But the rest of my anatomy works fine. He is by all rights, my miracle baby!

However, there are still people in this world who believe that in vitro fertilization is against god and nature. So basically, does that mean my son and all of the hundreds of thousands of babies born each year via in vitro don't deserve to exist? It's just crazy!

Hey- if the woman is healthy and wants to do so- it's her choice. I have quite a few friends whose mom's were well into their late 40's when they got pregnant. I am thankful for their existance.

michelleicu · Nov 19, 2004

I think that child bearing years are the mid twentys early thirtys.the older you are the more harder it gets when your pregnant on your body.i hope these older women that are having these babies live to see them graduate high school .

hypnotic_nurse · Nov 19, 2004

I think that child bearing years are the mid twentys early thirtys.the older you are the more harder it gets when your pregnant on your body.i hope these older women that are having these babies live to see them graduate high school.

Life is uncertain for all of us -- I hope every mom lives to see her kids graduate high school and beyond.

Some women are fertile into their 50s -- and as long as a woman is fertile, then I guess she'd STILL be in the "childbearing years".

dawngloves, BSN, RN · Nov 19, 2004

I'm sure you all know as OB nurses that the risk of PIH. GD, PTL, and a variety of genetic disorders increase with the age of the pt. At age 40, I would never consider gettting pg. Not only for those reasons, but as quickbeam mentioned, I could never risk "abandoning" my child when they might need me the most. The first thing I think of when I see a 57 new mother is that I hope they at least see that child graduate high school!

There are no guarantees that every parent will live to see that, just as there are no guarantees that every woman will be a mother.

And as it was argues earlier, just because it can be done doen't mean it should.A 7 year old could be impregnanted for pete sake! She could take care of a baby just as well as an 70 year old can raise a 15 year old!