Old Ladies Having Babies

[alphafe]

Well, we'll just ignore my earlier thread about my missed period last week while on the pill and pretend I'm writing with an interest in the 50-something women in the news recently. The 57 yo who had twins via IVF and the even older woman in Georgia who claims a natural twin pg from hubby who had a vas years ago :chuckle

How DO older (well not THAT) old women do? Not that I'm scared or anything, I mean how could I possible get pg at my age on the pill when I only passed dh in the night once all month? :uhoh21:

[Jo Dirt]

I will be 30 yrs. old tomorrow. Already I'm not as desireable as a 20 yr. old. It's all downhill from here. But that is life.

Why can't people just accept when it is time to give it up?

And the logic isn't adding up. Old folks having baby advocates keep pointing out that old people's children are happy...like young people don't have happy children...

Someone mentioned that because we are older we shouldn't be second class citizens. Well, it might not be a nice reality but it is the truth. This whole country is geared toward youth, and the older one becomes the less a part of the world they are. I'm an old geezer and I can face it, why can't other people? There comes a time when it is time to give it up!

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I will be 30 yrs. old tomorrow. Already I'm not as desireable as a 20 yr. old. It's all downhill from here. But that is life.

Why can't people just accept when it is time to give it up?

And the logic isn't adding up. Old folks having baby advocates keep pointing out that old people's children are happy...like young people don't have happy children...

Someone mentioned that because we are older we shouldn't be second class citizens. Well, it might not be a nice reality but it is the truth. This whole country is geared toward youth, and the older one becomes the less a part of the world they are. I'm an old geezer and I can face it, why can't other people? There comes a time when it is time to give it up!

As long as people perpetuate that youth is what is first class, then that's the way it'll stay.

If you're an old geezer at 30, then what are you at 60 ??(I ask this, being 1 1/2 months away from turning 28, which would make me 2 years away from old geezer status.)

[angel337, MSN, RN]

I will be 30 yrs. old tomorrow. Already I'm not as desireable as a 20 yr. old. It's all downhill from here. But that is life.

Why can't people just accept when it is time to give it up?

And the logic isn't adding up. Old folks having baby advocates keep pointing out that old people's children are happy...like young people don't have happy children...

Someone mentioned that because we are older we shouldn't be second class citizens. Well, it might not be a nice reality but it is the truth. This whole country is geared toward youth, and the older one becomes the less a part of the world they are. I'm an old geezer and I can face it, why can't other people? There comes a time when it is time to give it up!

i believe in the saying that "you are as old as you feel". you are far from old honey. i am 30 also and i don't look any different or feel any different than i did 5 years ago. i don't have children yet mainly because i put that on hold while i was in nursing school. i plan to start a family next year. i do not regret my decision to wait because i could barely provide for myself much less a baby. most of my friends started "late" meaning most of them had first babies at 28-32. my mom is a baby boomer so her generation had kids in early 20's. now it is a lot different. women like to be established emotionally and financially now before having kids. i think that is a good concept to follow.

[Dayray, RN]

As far as the issue of age in child bearing we all have opinions. I try to remember that things like this are often a matter of perspective rather then right or wrong. I do think that the issue of a parent dieing or becoming ill is something that people should consider when planning to have children in their 40's. I also can tell you that pregnancy is harder (in general) for post 40's mom. Ive taken care of many patients 42 - 46 and although a few have easy uncomplicated pregnancy's most have allot of trouble. Putting my own opinion aside I can only say that I hope that people consider all these things and make a decision that is well informed and based on more then a desire to complete their own life by creating a child.

I have something to add in regards to those of you complaining about teen parents.

This is a completely different issue. Teen parents are not adults and while I agree that it is not the best thing for anyone when teen becomes pregnant you can not hold them to the same standard as adults. They don't make good decisions and thats because they are too young to do so. I have said it many times before and Ill keep saying it "if there is a teen pregnancy it is because their is a problem at home" not because the teen is a bad person .

So many people flap their gums about how terrible teen pregnancy is and these kids are accosted in grocery stories , church and everywhere they go. Are you surprised that they have trouble parenting when they are treated like this? If you want to be upset with someone about teen pregnancy look at their parents not the teen, kids depend on their parents and if their is a problem with the kid there is a problem with the home. I work with teen parents on a daily basis and wish people would spend more time helping to educate kids on birth control, promote laws about child abuse/neglect or support teen parents then bad mouthing them.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

If you want to be upset with someone about teen pregnancy look at their parents not the teen, kids depend on their parents and if their is a problem with the kid there is a problem with the home.

I cannot agree with blaming the parent all the time on this issue, because of my own personal experiences. My dad was in the picture 24/7, but the only way he could have truly controlled 100% of what i did was to lock me in a room with no phone. If i was truly determined to do something, i found a way.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I cannot agree with blaming the parent all the time on this issue, because of my own personal experiences. My dad was in the picture 24/7, but the only way he could have truly controlled 100% of what i did was to lock me in a room with no phone. If i was truly determined to do something, i found a way.

I agree with this. My husband and I are very involved with all our kids and I have always been very open with them about sex and alcohol and drugs,etc.

While there are parents who may have done something to set their children on the path to making bad decisions, there are also parents who do their best and the kids make their own choices.

I have 4 kids. We raised them all with the same rules and values. They all made and are making their own mistakes.

It is their choice.

But the consequences are something my husband and I can do something about.

steph

[Dayray, RN]

In response to the person that said that parents cant watch their children all the time. This is true it is not possible to watch your kids all the time but you shouldn't have to.

Yes there are going to be a few isolated events of girls or boys being caught in a peer pressure situation or teen on teen rape. However for the most part the children that find them selves in bad situations leading to pregnancy are not being watched at all by parents. These situational pregnancies are rare and most often turn out to be a cover for the real story.

The vast majority of teen pregnancy is not from peer pressure or teen on teen rape. Most of the time it is "accidentally on purpose" they choose not to use protection because they subconsciously want a baby to love them or to make a family with their partner. They don't think about how they are going to raise a baby or where they are going to get money; they just want to be in a real family. Second to "accidentally on purpose" the most common cause is an adult raping or abusing the teen, very often it's their moms boyfriend, their own father or an adult that their parents have allowed to date their teen daughter.

So the not being able to watch them all the time thing doesn't rally address the issue. You shouldn't have to watch them 24/7 because they should be able to be trusted. They should feel that there is a place for them and that they are loved.

A parent is responsible for their child's actions. The fact that people don't realize this is the cause of many of toady's problems. If a teen chooses to feel a void by seeking love and attention from a boyfriend/girlfriend or by creating another person to love them it is to fill a void left by the parents.

In my classes and counseling with teen parents I don't teach them to blame their parents. I instead teach them to break the cycle by teaching them to accept responsibility for their children and to consider how their actions effect their children.

It is tempting to blame these kids and to say that they make their own choices and it is certainly important that we teach them to be responsible for their actions. However in reality they are not responsible for their actions they are babies and they don't have the same thought process as adults. Think back to your psych classes and to the developmental stages or maslow's hierarchy of needs. If these kids were getting their basic emotional and psychological needs met then teen pregnancy would be a rare thing.

I'm sorry for high-jacking this thread =) Ill go quietly now

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Dayray - you make some good points about some situations. There definitely are parents, especially today, who focus on getting their own needs met and don't spend much time with their children. I do see that.

But I also see parents very involved with their kids. Teaching them right from wrong. Living what they teach. I've talked to my kids about not getting themselves into situations where they are alone with someone of the opposite sex. I've talked about pressure to have sex. I've talked about the powerful nature of sex itself. In the end, I think it would be nice to think you can trust your kids but at the same time you have to try to not throw them into the tempting situations in the first place. But no matter what you teach and how you try to protect, they make their own decisions. Yes, teens are immature but you cannot blame all parents when their kids make bad choices.

I'm not sure about your statistics regarding teen pregnancy although I am aware that alot of the girls are getting pregnant by boys over 18. And I have seen parents let their daughter date older boys - that is just setting your daughter up for having sex in my opinion.

The truth is though that sexual feelings are very powerful. Parents can be there 24/7 and kids can still find ways to do sexual things - sometimes right in front of the parents. You'd be amazed. :chuckle . .. it isn't always peer pressure or lack of attention by parents. Sometimes it is just that sex is fun, sex feels good.

steph

[Dayray, RN]

Your right stevielynn, many time sex be twee teens is just that. Heck we were all that age and weather we did it or not we all thought about and probably allot.

But teen sex and teen pregnancy although related are 2 different things. Yes there are a few accidents where birth control fails or the heat of the moment causes birth control to be forgotten. Most teen pregnancies aren't accidents most of the time no birth control is used or it's even intentionally stooped. most teen pregnancies are intentional.

When you ask kids how it happened, The first answer is the classic "I don't know" then as you investigate more you find out that they had access to birth control but chose not to use it. As they begin to trust me more and start to understand their own feelings they realize and share that they were trying to get pregnant.

Ours is a world full of sexual messages and kids see it on TV, magazines, Internet etc... so ifs really really hard to teach them different from what these powerful images are teaching them. Yet some parents actually manage to do it how? hmm thats the question. I can tell you though that if you are trying to answer that question you probably already have.. because you cared enough to expend the brain power to even consider it you have most likely invested enough care and time in your child to fulfill their need for love.

Of course as i said before the second leading cause of teen pregnancy is rape or abuse by an adult. In that case the power over their body is taken from them and they don't make choices about birth control. the abuser either doesn't care about birth control or thinks so little of the victim that it slips there mind.

Now I know there are exceptions to this but they are just that exceptions. I have know kids that had condoms break and I've had some that were conned into situations and didn't even know they were having sex, but they aren't that common.

I really support education about birth control knowing how to use birth control is only a fraction of the benefit to the kids. The real benefit to them is that issue is being discussed and that an adult is investing time in them when they get into the situation where birth control is an issue they reembark that someone cared and are more likely to use birth control out of a desire to honor that persons wishes.

sorry if im writing in circles, it's past my bed time

[webblarsk]

I think to each their own..........personally I wouldn't get pregnant at that age. I don't think its fair to the child. :)