Someone Please talk to ME....I am Brokenhearted - page 2

A tough, difficult weekend in OB for me.....we had a 23-week lady (hx infertility x6 years) come in with "just a few cramps and pink tinged mucus" for evaluation. She was smiling, and very very... Read More

  1. by   imenid37
    Deb, I feel so bad for you and your pt. Hang in there. I really don't know when you'll feel better. You have a lot to give, just don't forget to save something for yourself. I KNOW that lady and her family will always hold you in a special place in their heart for the compassion you showed them. Do you have an RTS program? Maybe this is something you can consider for YOU. It is so hard to hold all those broken dreams in and sometimes when it's rough, only another parent who's been there can relate to you as a mom, (not a nurse) and give you a little comfort and strength. You are in my prayers and I do sincerely wish you all of the best.
  2. by   VivaLasViejas

    I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
  3. by   rollingstone
    God Bless you.
  4. by   lynn27
    I am so sorry...I wish I could find the right words to help you feel better. ((((hugs))))
  5. by   nekhismom
    (((HUGS)))) Very sorry that you had such a rough time lately. Sending thoughts and prayers your way for a happier tomorrow.
  6. by   scrubs70
    Hugssssssssss and God Bless You.
  7. by   Spidey's mom
    Deb - I'm sorry. It is very painful. We had a similar situation a couple of days ago.

    Don't leave L & D though . . compassionate nurses are needed there.

  8. by   dawngloves
    Deb, I can understand how hard that must be for you.And yeah, it's very hard to have to be the nurse in that situation and you just want to scream and cry. If you were your patient, what would you say? You need to take care of yourself now, and that's OK. You're allowed. Feel better sweetie.
  9. by   gwenith
    Deb - been there felt like that. I find it difficult because I cannot have kids at all to look after midwifery patients. I had one the other night - third child severe PET and what does her diet consist of....... I won't eat vegetables or fruit I don't like them. The ONLY vegetable she will eat - potato but only as chips.

    ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) hon - hang in there - this too will pass.
  10. by   LilgirlRN
    I work in the ED, not L&D. I've had 20 weekers come in and have miscarriages. It's always hard for me because as a mom I have such empathy for these families. I miscarried at 9 weeks once, cannot imagine going to 23 weeks and then losing a baby. It's hard times like these that make me question my decision to become a nurse. I do know that sometime later, the patient and her family will remember how they were comforted by my care. It sounds like you are a wonderful nurse. We too get wrapped up in the emotional aspect of this situation. You could hardly be a normal person if you weren't experiencing a great sense of loss not only for your patient but for yourself as well. I always think that there was something that I could have done differently, something that I should have realized to prevent the demise of a patient. In truth, I do not have that kind of power. If your number is up, even if it's up before you are born, then I cannot save you, all the money in the world, the most wonderful doctors can do nothing. Please don't second guess yourself at all, know that this baby, no matter how badly wanted was not meant for this world. Be kind to yourself, take some time just for you. I'll be thinking of you, Wendy
  11. by   jkaee
    Deb....thinking of you. A miscarrige at any time is difficult, esp when a baby is wanted as much as you wanted your little one. What a strong, kind and compassionate woman you must be to be able to go into work every day and give your all to these women that are suffering with a pregnancy loss, and push aside your own feelings of grief and hurt to help them deal with theirs.

    As nurses we tend to think of ourselves last, and keep on giving even when we need to be the ones taking....please take care of yourself, even if just for a day, an hour, 15 minutes. Maybe a mental health day is in order.

    I have no words to make all the pain go away.....I have been there myself, and know how you feel. Take comfort in your family and friends, and know that you are thought about often.

  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    thank you all for the kind words. I sure did NOT expect SO many responses....such kind well-placed words mean more than you can know. I know I will be ok but right now, wow am I wreck. Can you believe, I can 'tstop crying? what is so rough about this one, I don't know.....but it is. the profound sense of loss, her looking at me, asking me "how do I go on with a normal life?"

    I told her, "you have to learn to re-define what is "normal" in context of this horrible loss. Somedays, it's all you can do to go thru each MINUTE let alone a whole day. You have to take it one minute, one hour and one day at a time trying not to think too far ahead in order to stay sane....I know the anger you feel, the denial, disbelieve. I have been there and I am willing to listen if you want to talk". I hope I helped them ---somehow. I know their pain----it is just unspeakable.

    Thank you for caring; as usual, my all nurses sibs came thru! you all are so great.
  13. by   prmenrs
    That's very sad, Deb, and your recent losses make it even sadder. If you have any say in the matter, talk to your NM and see if you can take a pass on that type of pt for a while--if one comes in and you're up for the next admit, negotiate w/ a co-worker to see if you can swap. One would hope your colleagues would be compassionate enough to help out. It is really more than you can handle right now.

    I don't think you're going to be able to 'get on with it' right now, and I don't think you should expect yourself to, either. Get emotional support right now--a therapist, a support group--you need it and you deserve it!!!