Nursing school has pushed me to the edge. Anyone else?

Leadkrm, RN · Feb 16, 2019

This is just my opinion, but you are seeking opinions. If you can’t handle the stress and expectations of the school and your instructors, then you are really going to piss the bed if you work in the hospital. At that time you will have actual responsibilities and your license and life will ride on how well you handle those responsibilities and expectations. Hospital board members care about their bottom line. Not how comfortable and accommodated their staff memebers are. If you aren’t capable of giving a damn in the practice run, don’t even try for the big leagues friend. You will be doing a disservice to yourself, your team and your patient population if you lose drive and only do things to “get by”. If you believe you can suck it up and turn your performance around, it will be a career worth pursuing. You don’t have to be top of the class or a strait a student. You don’t have to kiss your teacher’s asses. It’s ok to be the quiet person in the room who speaks when spoken to. I did decent in school, nowhere near the top of my class. There were students who scraped by with maximum effort. Those bottom and top level students are both in the same place now. Licensed RN’s who have the same creditials. I hope what I said is constructive and doesn’t sound like I’m preaching or scolding. I just wanted to give an honest opinion so that you can make an honest choice for yourself. Have a nice evening friend.

allnurses Guide · Feb 16, 2019

You are doing the bare minimum, skipping class, late for clinical a regularly and flying in the face of how you were raised and what you claim is important to you. It isn’t how they are treating you causing this. It is the choices you are making. Of course you don’t feel good about yourself. Of course you see criticism and harshness in the eyes of others. It’s your own opinion of yourself reflecting back. Nobody is going to be strict with you here. You have to do that for yourself or you will be left behind. Straighten up and fly right and watch the world change.

thoughtful21, BSN, RN · Feb 16, 2019

You're going through a hard time right now, and you're asking for help, and I wish you the best.

I also struggled with feeling like I was being treated like a child in nursing school. I also had a background of being a responsible, dedicated self-starter, and it was not my first time around the block in the working world. I'm not sure what the right answer/perspective is for this. I DO think that the culture of many nursing schools could be improved!

(Perhaps some of the small, silly rules and actions that make us feel frustrated are designed to cover the school's butt? And maybe another reason they have to do these things is because not all nursing students are self-starters?)

I often joke that perfectionism, anxiety and OCD can help you get straight A's in nursing school, ? but the truth is that you have to let the perfectionism go to a certain extent in order to be successful in nursing school. Please don't continue to let it go completely and just do the bare minimum...but you're right, it's impossible to do it all! Prioritize, find study habits that work best for you, and set yourself reasonable goals for grades. "Don't let perfect be the enemy of better."

And don't let them get you down. Nursing school really is rough. You sound completely burned out. Please take some time for your mental health. I mean that compassionately, from one ex-nursing student to one who is currently in the trenches!

I noticed that JKL33 liked your post but hasn't responded yet. C'mon @JKL33 ! ? We'd love to hear your thoughts!

2BS Nurse, BSN · Feb 16, 2019

The nursing profession does not require you to be a straight A student. My instructors used to say "C's get degrees!". I was amazed at the lack of intelligence of some of my classmates, and now my coworkers. They were more concerned that you had worked as a CNA than how well you scored on an exam. If you are a perfectionist and work in nursing, you will go crazy. Health care is far from perfect and you'll have to constantly prioritize and let many things go by the wayside. Just focus on doing your best job and don't worry about those around you. There are a lot of crazy people working in health care. Get used to it and figure out how you will handle it.

mtnNurse., BSN · Feb 16, 2019

On 2/12/2019 at 1:00 PM, misskayy said:
Their expectations are so unrealistic that I have just given up on trying to be a good student.

I hope this doesn't indicate that you would give up on trying to be a good nurse when you find how unrealistic expectations can be at many (or most?) nursing jobs. People who can't handle not being perfect all the time will likely get burnt out quickly when working at the hospital. But as people here have pointed out, patients deserve that their nurses at least still care to try their best to be a good one. I'm sure you have it in you to be a good one; just work on your perspective and coping skills. Take care of yourself.

JKL33 · Feb 16, 2019

On 2/12/2019 at 1:00 PM, misskayy said:
I have to get this off my chest, but it doesn't seem like a common problem with nursing students. I grew up with strict parents who instilled good habits and values in me. I always listened to my authoritative figures, did things on time, followed the rules, got high grades, was very competitive, and was basically a perfectionist. Then nursing school came along... that was a shocker. Their expectations are so unrealistic that I have just given up on trying to be a good student.

3 hours ago, thoughtful21 said:
I often joke that perfectionism, anxiety and OCD can help you get straight A's in nursing school, ? [....]
[.......]
I noticed that JKL33 liked your post but hasn't responded yet. C'mon @JKL33 ! ? We'd love to hear your thoughts!

Well, since I have been called upon (@thoughtful21)....

I do think the OP's background as described (including the perfectionist aspect) is ripe for extreme nursing school frustration.

I didn't experience it necessarily in my original program which I felt prepared me very well. Years later I still feel I couldn't have asked for better preparation. These people had a wealth of knowledge and expected dedication and accountability. I had no problem learning what they wanted or doing what they asked because I wanted to become like them.

I am aware, though, of situations were the instruction is lower-caliber and the people instructing can not possibly have ever been excellent at patient care. In those situations everything becomes about head games - which, although easy enough to overcome, are a colossal waste of life, breath, brain power - everything. Weak people resort to games and tactics that can allow them to feel superior when they otherwise wouldn't.

One such individual wandered into a resus room where I was involved in a resuscitation ("Code") that two of her students were observing. This idiot had no clue what was going on, but that didn't stop her from wrongly reporting me for a medication administration "error" that was so far off base it became immediately evident that she didn't even know what she was observing - and it was fairly straightforward. She was officially invited not to step foot back in our department and the school informed that someone else would need to supervise the clinical rotation.

Other instructors play head games by twisting and contorting things, criticizing at the wrong juncture or in an improper manner, and generally faulting people no matter what they do. These are merely symptoms of personal and intellectual weakness.

To the OP I have two comments:

First, nursing itself is an adjustment for perfectionists. Humanity and life is complicated and there isn't a formula for it and you can't do something correctly and be done with it. It isn't very amenable to checking boxes and feeling like things are perfectly done. Ever. That's because it's life. So to some extent you will have to grow in this area and learn to do what you can do and let the rest go (might seem like an abomination, I know - but it's true).

Secondly, good lourd, to the extent that you are frustrated by silly game players (which is what I suspect) don't let them determine how your nursing career is going to go. Just get it done and get out of there. By not showing up on time and and not doing things according to your own standards that you know are right, you're just throwing the whole thing! You're better than that. Why choose to lose at something solely because of goofballs?! ? I am sure you have been taught to be determined enough to keep that from happening.

Nursing school is a period of adjustment and uncertainty and broadening your view of the world. It sounds like that got you down for a moment, but now you have to make a choice. You can succeed here. Pay attention and give them what they want, which isn't difficult to figure out. If they want the care plan to meet 45 persnickety little requirements? No problem - sit right down and pound it out and let them know what an awesome assignment it was!! ?. Seriously. Let them mess with someone else. Let's get some enthusiasm going and get.it.done. ?

MiladyMalarkey, ASN, BSN · Feb 16, 2019

Nursing school suck sometimes. It is teaching you a life lesson in humility and what to expect in the real world. I'm not putting you down. I don't think being type A is a bad thing, but, if you never have an experience that shows you that you don't always have control of all things and that you won't always excel at everything then you haven't dealt with the real world.

I used to be a super type A, so I know where you're coming from. Not all the qualities of that part of my personality has gone away, but, life taught me a few things. Sometimes I'm not going to be the best, there is someone who will always get things quicker than me or are better, sometimes I'm not going to be able to control my situation, sometimes things just go to crap and you have to be flexible and deal with it, you gotta work with people who don't like you or vice versa and finally expect the unexpected and you'll never be disappointed.

You've had a realistic slap in the face and it's a tough lesson. While you may not like what your instructor may say, hear what they say and take something from it even if you don't always agree. Show up to class even if you have to drag your rump there and do what you have to do. If you're mediocre, you're mediocre, all you have to do is pass, graduating with honors is cool, but really, nobody cares about that like you do, job-sites don't care usually if you were an A or C student, we all will get paid the same. Some things in life aren't going to let you be a type A person, at least you're learning it now. You now have to learn how to deal and cope with this new knowledge. You can allow it to defeat you or you can embrace and learn from it.

misspy · Mar 28, 2019

On 2/12/2019 at 1:00 PM, misskayy said:
I have to get this off my chest, but it doesn't seem like a common problem with nursing students. I grew up with strict parents who instilled good habits and values in me. I always listened to my authoritative figures, did things on time, followed the rules, got high grades, was very competitive, and was basically a perfectionist. Then nursing school came along... that was a shocker. Their expectations are so unrealistic that I have just given up on trying to be a good student. I do have time for myself, but not enough. My mental health is suffering. I feel like I'm treated like a child by my clinical instructors and the school in general. I've hit my breaking point. My grades are mediocre now. I've been late to clinical so many times. I skip lecture if I can. I do the bare minimum, but enough to pass. My clinical instructors annoy me with their "advice" which are usually just insults. I feel so bad saying this, but it is what it is.
The way nursing programs are set up is a shame, in my opinion. I think they purposely make them chaotic to prepare us for the real world and make us better nurses, but it's had the opposite effect on me. Anyone else?

Yeah I feel you completely: almost 100%. And these professors and tutors dont be caring because they already a nurse or whatever. You might not want to accept it but they believe they are better, I'm not sure if they realize they feel like this...

As much low self esteem as ive had in life I did not believe I failed one of my nursing courses until I gor a complete F.

I didn't really have the motivate to go to school like that either. Like i just didnt feel comfortable talking and stuff around the other students because I think they be jealous or something ...and since I felt kindve withdrawn I'm just like this is not good. I didnt want to be around them and the professor wasnt accommodating really. All the money being paid and you want me to do all these things...and I'm failing...and generally mentally deterioraring.

It seemed like the only way to spend most of my time on that. Nothing else could be done for long periods of time and that was like prison. I'm glad to be out there.

Rionoir, ADN, RN · Apr 6, 2019

On 2/12/2019 at 12:00 PM, misskayy said:
...it doesn't seem like a common problem with nursing students...

I think if you talk about anxiety and mental health issues with your classmates you'll find 90% of you are on a benzo, an antidepressant, or some combination of the two. ?

pepitohonguito87 · Dec 10, 2022

My experience in nursing school has been awful. Nursing faculty treats you like a child and they are very incompetent. They don’t know what they teach and all the instructions they give if they in fact decide to give instructions are pre-made and taken from lippincott, elsevier or other companies. They just put together whatever they find online. Their work ethic is pathetic. I don’t understand why nobody does anything to make nursing school better.

FiremedicMike, RN, EMT-P · Dec 11, 2022

On 2/15/2019 at 10:41 PM, Leadkrm said:

This is just my opinion, but you are seeking opinions. If you can’t handle the stress and expectations of the school and your instructors, then you are really going to piss the bed if you work in the hospital. At that time you will have actual responsibilities and your license and life will ride on how well you handle those responsibilities and expectations. Hospital board members care about their bottom line. Not how comfortable and accommodated their staff memebers are. If you aren’t capable of giving a damn in the practice run, don’t even try for the big leagues friend. You will be doing a disservice to yourself, your team and your patient population if you lose drive and only do things to “get by”. If you believe you can suck it up and turn your performance around, it will be a career worth pursuing. You don’t have to be top of the class or a strait a student. You don’t have to kiss your teacher’s asses. It’s OK to be the quiet person in the room who speaks when spoken to. I did decent in school, nowhere near the top of my class. There were students who scraped by with maximum effort. Those bottom and top level students are both in the same place now. Licensed RN’s who have the same creditials. I hope what I said is constructive and doesn’t sound like I’m preaching or scolding. I just wanted to give an honest opinion so that you can make an honest choice for yourself. Have a nice evening friend.

I do understand that what I quoted is nearly 4 years old, but the whole "you'll never be a great nurse" mantra struck a nerve with me.

There are absolutely programs that are toxic, mean-spirited lab instructors, condescending clinical instructors with literally zero clinical experience, moving goalposts, and syllabus objectives that are so far removed from the exam content that you might as well throw them away.

For me, as an adult student with significant clinical and teaching experience, it was infuriating. I also got to the point of doing nothing more than was expected, because I had been burnt too many times by trying to stand out.

And now I'm out in the real world and doing great. My peers and the providers enjoy working with me, my patients and families love me, and I am continuing to learn every day (which is much easier without all the mindless head-games that nursing school plays).