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nursing school and marriage

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by e_zapanta e_zapanta (New) New

hikernurse

Specializes in NICU. Has 8 years experience.

Something else to think about is that a lot of marriages that don't survive NS, weren't really doing well anyway and NS is a way for a wife (usually, although it could be a husband, too) to find a way out of a rough situation.

ICRN2008, BSN, RN

Specializes in Infection Preventionist/ Occ Health. Has 5 years experience.

Nursing school was a piece of cake for my marriage compared with trying to get through the first year of nursing practice. The weird hours, overtime and stress have taken a huge toll on our relationship. Luckily, we made it through, partly because I was willing to give up my current job and take a less demanding one for the sake of my marriage.

Remember that nursing school doesn't last forever and that nursing is only a job. Your spouse has to be a priority if you want to maintain a strong relationship.

I had been married 9 years when I started my ASN program. I can't even begin to tell you how hard it has been for my marriage. And I know I'm not the only person in my class struggling with their marriage. Nursing School is very stressful and that stress can carry over into other things, including your marriage.

The good news is I graduate in May and we are still married. We're in marriage counseling, but we're still hanging in there lol. Just be prepared and try to nip any issues in the bud. Good luck!

StrwbryblndRN

Specializes in CMSRN. Has 9 years experience.

When dealing with life, nothing stays the same. I believe that if a marriage were to end due to NS, then it was not meant to be. It is one of many possible tests that life has to offer.

Embrace and go forth. Can't keep yourself from experiences. That includes school or children or a big move or whatever else you want to dive into. If your life has to stay stagnant for your marriage to survive than your marriage would not survive to be able to live

MzMouse

Specializes in LTC, office. Has 19 years experience.

Nursing school was certainly a tough time for my marriage, just because it took so much time and energy. Luckily, my husband was understanding and supportive and we made it through. If I had to do over again, I would have made more time to spend with him.

Marriage is going to have its tough times. You just have to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

MikeyJ, RN

Specializes in Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis.

I have been with my partner for 4 years and nursing school has definitely been tough on our relationship. It hasn't necessarily been nursing school itself but the fact that I work 40+ hours a week on top of nursing school. But we will be fine and will get through it -- I graduate in August and then things should improve.

I would not base your decision of pursuing nursing school on whether or not you think it will ruin your marriage -- it won't ruin your marriage as long as you work on it while you are going to school. Just make sure to tell your significant other to stick it out as well.

HeartsOpenWide, RN

Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

I am 27 and I have been married over 7 years. I have been in nursing school for 2 years now. Taking the pre-reqs was a good warm up for my husband. I remember when I was still working full time and taking a nutrition class, ...my husband complained that he didn't see me all night because I was 'hiding away in the back room all night' eventually my school became more common place. My husband is very busy with his own business working 80 hours a week so this helps take some of the guilt off myself...however, find a few hours to do something together a week, even if it is just going out for breakfast Sunday mornings or a movie here and there....you will need breaks or you will go insane!!

EarthChild1130

Specializes in Psychiatric. Has 9 years experience.

I had been married for 9 years too when I started nursing school, and it was VERY tough on both of us...I quit my job to go to school full time and not only is he active-duty Coast Guard, he picked up a second job about a year into my school so I only had to go to school...There were certainly times when I wondered 'What the **** am I DOING?!' but we supported each other and got through it, and we're still married and as strong as ever.

We got married young too..we were 19 when we got married...if you want it, don't let your fears stop you. Talk about it with him, and best of luck to you!:nuke:

bookworm1

Specializes in Critical Care: Cardiac, VAD, Transplant.

16 years of marriage and the last 4 as a nursing student. If all goes well, I will be done May '09. My husband and kids have been great. We discussed every issue that we could come up with prior to beginning school, but surprises still came our way. Nursing school really DOES change who you are, but always keep in mind who you were and where you've come from. Things haven't been easy, but we survived. Set your priorities and learn to let little things go (I rarely see the floor of my house, anymore). And don't forget to say 'thank-you'.:redbeathe

I am the same as MrsCD. I COULD NOT, I repeat COULD NOT have done it without my husband! He is the best study buddy and always made sure the kids were taken care of while I was at school or studying.

As long as your husband is supportive and realizes that your schooling is not only your future but his also it will be just fine!

P_RN, ADN, RN

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89. Has 30 years experience.

If it's hard, so be it. You will survive and so will he. To quote Nike-just do it.

We were married 9 years when I got my degree. Come June it will be 43 years and he's still kind of fond of me-and me him.

hellerd2003, RN

Specializes in Critical Care.

Nursing school is like any stressor.

If your marriage is strong, nursing school will not affect it terribly.

If your marriage is not strong, it will be ruined.

I made it through nursing school as a newlywed, and nursing school required my husband to work two full-time jobs and take care of the house. As a nurse, I need to work more while he takes a chance on a start-up company to advance his career (also a stress on us). We've dealt with kid issues, moving cross-country, financial stressors, and illnesses. Nursing school stressors pale in comparison to rest of life stressors. Realize nursing school is a means to an end, and will be done in 2-4 years. Other marital issues you face will last far longer.

Don't sweat school. If your marriage can't survive nursing school, it was most likely doomed from the start anyway. And, at least, if you go through school, you can support yourself after you're done if your marriage doesn't work out.

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