Struggling to be a Christian Nurse

kakamegamama · Jun 16, 2018

Go easy on yourself. We, even as followers of Christ, are not perfect. If we were, He would not have needed to die on the cross. Remember, there were times when Christ Himself got peeved at His disciples as well as others, so, you are in good company.

markko · Jun 20, 2018

I have a friend who went to a Christian nursing school and took a job in home health, then became a jail nurse. She tried to lay down a law in the jail that prisoners could not swear when talking to her. Imagine how that worked out. She lost her job because she could not separate her Christian values from her work. She was dissatisfied by "sinful lifestyles" of her patients. She seemed to prothlesize to her patients, IMHO. She was unsatisfied with nursing as a result and left the field and became a full time mom.

Avill, BSN, RN · Jun 21, 2018

Hi there,

Have you considered switching specialties? There are many other specialties in which you may be better suited for.

anon456, BSN, RN · Jun 21, 2018

When I was a newer nurse I sought out counseling to help me deal with these feelings, and learn healthy boundaries. I now only "own" the 12 hours I spend with the patient and I make it the best 12 hours I can for them. At the end of those 12 hours I clock out and leave it all at work. I don't hold them responsible for whatever they did to themselves (poor choices) to get where they are. I'm glad I'm not the one in the bed.

And on a more personal note, my boyfriend/partner is a recovering alcoholic who ruined certain aspects of his health. I did not know him at that time and only met him after he became sober. I look back and imagine that alcoholic man he used to be-- I'm sure he was still the kind person I know and love now-- and I hurt for that man and the pain he must have be in to drink like that. And that becoming sober took a huge amount of work, pain, humbleness, and, frankly, money to pay for an outpatient program. Not everyone is that strong or has the support or strength that he did to get himself straight.

I remember that we are all at different stages in our lives, in our journeys, and again, we can only meet a person where they are right now, and give them the best 12 hours we can while they are in our care.

cec0007 · Jun 23, 2018

Getting down to the very basics, a Christian must always "care" about our fellow man; that's not optional. And the job you signed up for is to care for your patients.

That said, when I was younger, I wanted things to always be "right" and "fair." But I learned I can't fix everything. You can't help what your patients have or have not done; your duty is to care for them to the best of your ability. Don't try to analyze them. Stay in the present.

BadwomanM · Jun 27, 2018

I truly understand how you feel. Frequent flyers are discouraging to the whole team. I try to see them as just one of those things in nursing that we have to deal with and it's not the end of the world if they come back. Kind of a 'shrug... oh well' type of thing.

I have learned in the 28 years I've been nursing.. that we can't fix everyone, nor is what WE think best necessarily going to work for the patient. Sometimes, we have to adapt our expectations as healthcare workers to the situation that the patient is living with. There is what we think to be ideal, and then what we can actually do.

God deals with our weakness and sin over and over, and forgives us when we fail yet again. I sometimes wonder if he is as angry at me being rebellious and having a pity party, as I get over certain difficult patients.

Continue to pray and ask for guidance. The answer will come. If it's to continue what you're doing, try and have an accepting attitude. Get to know these people beyond their illness. I have found that can really help change the way I feel about them.

Neats, BSN · Jun 29, 2018

Having faith and coming across a lot of patients who clearly have no spiritual aspect to their lies have taught me as a nurse to be non-judgmental. It is my actions they are watching and nothing more or less.

I cannot control how people think, I can control what I do and to some extent the environment such as asking people to leave if they are arguing about a family member, or tell another healthcare professional to stop yelling at me I will not stand for abuse and let someone unload on me just because they are in a stressful situation. I take comfort in God knowing he is always in control, always will be. That is enough for me.

Here is a bible verse it is up to you to find it: The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS · Jul 4, 2018

Being a faithful Christian doesn't mean you're disqualified from intellectually processing stuff. I happen to believe that it makes for more coherent processing, but that's for another thread. Frustration at sick people not getting better for whatever reason is rarely because of the reasons you're thinking are causing it. Christianity, if nothing else, is an acknowledgement of the dignity of the human person as a creature of God. Disorder, physical, spiritual or psychological, is hard for us to witness because we know that that isn't part of the plan, thus, frustration and maybe even anger.
First off, you can be pretty safe knowing that, if the patient were given the choice to be sick right then or not, they'd be siding with you. What capacities, shortcomings, challenges, whatever, the patient has in their life that has brought them to you is impossible to know. These things could go back decades.
Understanding that you have no control at all about the patient's past and decision making really helps. Then the patient's life just becomes an opportunity that our Lord, in His mercy, has given you to care for Him. Don't miss it.
Go back and re-read Mt 25:44

This is so spot on.

offlabel · Jul 4, 2018

I have a friend who went to a Christian nursing school and took a job in home health, then became a jail nurse. She tried to lay down a law in the jail that prisoners could not swear when talking to her. Imagine how that worked out. She lost her job because she could not separate her Christian values from her work. She was dissatisfied by "sinful lifestyles" of her patients. She seemed to prothlesize to her patients, IMHO. She was unsatisfied with nursing as a result and left the field and became a full time mom.

She didn't lose her job because she couldn't separate her Christianity from her work, she lost it for precisely the opposite reason. Would that more Christians would integrate their faith into their work so that their work would be informed by and ordered to Christ-like living. Your friend was a little lost on the concept.

vampiregirl, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2018

One of the other posters inquired if you had considered a different speciality. Do you feel that your current area of nursing is a good "fit" for you? How about your unit? And your employer?

Are there any hospitals or other agencies that are sponsored by a spiritual/ religious entity near you that you could scope out? Have you considered talking to a Chaplain at your place of employment - they may be able to suggest some coping tools or offer some perspectives that may help you find peace.

Some areas of nursing have more of a spiritual component than others. Although I've found nurses in every area of nursing that draw strength from their faith, some specialities tend to draw nurses whom seek this type of environment and this contributes to the agency, unit or shift "atmosphere". For example, I'm a hospice nurse and spiritual care is an important component of this area of nursing. Even as I interact with others/ care for patients and families who have very different beliefs than mine the fact that spirituality is a part of my nursing adds additional meaning/ satisfaction to the work I do.

Side note - I'm pretty sure every. single. area of nursing involves patients, family members/ friends and colleagues that have absolutely unrealistic expectations of what the appropriate role of customer service in healthcare is. Add in lack of coping skills and stress/ grief and you are either going to end up with moments of endless entertainment, disbelief or frustration on your part. Unfortunately (or occasionally fortunately related to comic relief) this is just a part of life.

FlameHeart, CNA · May 23, 2021

On 6/7/2018 at 8:14 AM, brandy1017 said:

Sounds like you are having a stress response related to frustration with the patient population. Some patients are more difficult to care for and can wear you down. They probably are just as frustrated and feel helpless to improve their health and struggle with several chronic diseases. CHF is particularly difficult to treat and stabilize long term even when the patients take all their meds and is further complicated by renal failure. It can be disheartening to realize many times we can't cure disease only treat the symptoms and there will inevitably continue to be flareups and further declines for some patients especially those with CHF, CRF and diabetes. Just take it day by day and do your best. Forgive yourself for your anger. Think how you would want to be treated or how you would treat a loved one. Try to find ways to de-stress such as taking a vacation, getting enough sleep, taking a walk, spending time with family, friends, pets or pursuing a hobby on your off time. Consider asking for a break from a difficult patient if you need to.

All good advice, except we as Christians don't believe in "forgiving ourselves", we know God sees and knows everything and we seek to always please him with how we live our lives according to his Word=The Holy Bible, so we seek God's forgiveness.

This is the main difference between Christians and those without a god: they believe they are their own god and so they seek to "love themselves", "forgive themselves", and please themselves with the way they live their lives.

We Christians live our entire lives for Jesus Christ and our Father God.

To the original poster:

I myself have yet become a Nurse yet, sister or brother (whichever you are), but I have worked as a Home Health Aide before taking care of patients in their Homes.

Every situation is different, my 1st patient died, a good friend of mine he was, it was my first time seeing a dead body (I was the one that found him and called the ambulance), he had me fix him a drink of alcohol mixed with coke in a glass kept in freezer every time I came to see him (probably drank when I wasn't there to).

He was a smart man, old, alone, with friends who lived nearby in the old community apartments, he was involved with running prisons and then later Law work, he was even working on a Lawsuit or something with a friend of his before he died.

He died as far I know: an Agnostic (believe in "something" just nothing specific), even though we had many good talks about Jesus and even offered me a book written by an "ex-Christian" (no such thing, these people were never born again to begin with, they just stick with us for awhile, but they never truly believed otherwise they'd still be with us). I of course rejected it.

It was hard on me, I couldn't stop thinking about it: the pain I felt knowing he'd burn forever in The Lake of Fire.

I had no peace, until God spoke to me and said, "He made his choice." and God gave me his peace.

I later had a patient who is Catholic (who does believe in Jesus), we became good friends, and even made progress in getting him better physically, but it got to the point where he to live in The Hospital and has recently declined mentally. This has saddened me since when I called to talk to him last time, he didn't remember who I was, but I am not very sad as I know I will see him again in The Ressurection.

He had neglected his health for a long time, he smoked for over 20 years and even though his Doctors kept telling him to do certain things he wasn't doing them.

I had 1 other patient who was really disrepectful to God and The Holy Bible and when I told him I didn't want to hear that, he ended our relationship and tried to tell my company I called him names when I didn't. I explained it to them and told them to think about my record with them and to believe me. They did.

The last patient I will mention was an old foul-mouthed Davey-Crockett kind of guy who got stuck in the house on the couch watching tv "rotting" he called it, because of his stroke that messed up half his body: 1 leg he limped on and 1 one arm was mostly useless. He had little patience for people, he wanted things done a certain way, short, simple, to the point, and manners or politeness didn't exist with him.

I was told by a few people he was a difficult person and the neighbors heard him scream at the people who came before me (mostly women). Ironically, his favorite was a woman who used to work for him but moved away. "She was tough" he said. I got along great with him, it was like God gave me the ability to understand him without even knowing it. It was like people weren't able or didn't want to look past the cussing and gruff-blunt manner talked and actually listen to what he has to say.

I could understand his anger: he had a scooter that just sat there in the middle of the living room, because no one before me had ever listened to him to help him to get it running so he could go outside instead of rotting on the couch in front of the TV. For 3 YEARS! That sounded ridiculous to me. I would have kicked those women out to! As a Home Health Aide, it is our duty to do whatever helps the patient's health improve according to whatever the PATIENT wants, they are in charge, no one else.

So I helped him with that, he ended up crashing it on the road and ended up in The Hospital, but he didn't die and it was worth it for him so I didn't regret a single thing. He recovered and got sent back home. I don't think he believed in God or Jesus, but I was always open about my faith.

I tell you what though, it wasn't always easy though for me. Sometimes things in my life were bothering me and I was being too sensitive and he was being extra a-hole to me. I picked up on that immediately and called him out on that and he explained what I did to make him mad, we delt with it and moved on.

Eventually though, he got tired of me and told me not to come back, but I think in his own old-man Davey Crockett Man-way he wanted me to move on and up with my life, you know "free" me and encourage me, but he would never say it outloud because that wouldn't be very manly to be that "sensitive".

Without God, I could never do this job and would have walked away from and other jobs to (my Dishwashing job was another difficult one with people, I worked there over 1 year).

I tell people online: "We eventually run out of everything: love, patience, strength, power, etc. everything. I can't give what I don't have. So I need God to fill me up every day, because this job takes from you. You give, you're a "Caregiver" it's in the name. You give love. You can't give love when you run out of it, and you will eventually."

Sister or brother in Christ, God has already forgiven you for all of your sins because you believed in Jesus and accepted his sacrifice on your behalf for those sins permanently, the moment you did that you were Baptized in God's Holy Spirit and were reborn as his son or daughter forever and he will never abandon you or forsake you and nothing can separate you from his love.

Though we are told not sin sometimes it is too hard for us and we choose to sin, our relationship with God as our Father has been set forever and he may discipline us as any good Father should, but he always forgive us if we come to him and ask for it and having experienced Humanity through his son Jesus Christ he understands our temptations and has compassion on us, understanding, and mercy.

Believe me, I understand anger and not being able to control it: it was for this reason I had the words "Love" and "Faith" CARVED into my hands with INK (left and right) so that I would always remember what I am supposed to do with these hands and that my hands were designed to HEAL not to Harm. Because I never wanted to lay my hands on my future wife and children in anger and hurt them.

I ended up not being able to control my anger and was physically hurting 2 little dogs I was supposed to be looking after, over and over again, no matter what I did: prayer, talking to other people confessing it, seeking group prayer, etc. my Landlandy was probably going to throw me out if I kept doing since they were her dogs and I told her I was doing it.

Until I found some keychains that said "Love" and "Faith" and I put them on the dogs and started calling them by those nicknames and I started hurting them less often.

Then in the shower I remembered not too long before that I had thought to myself "I would be willing to have these words carved into my hands so I will never forget it." and a song came into my head "Lead Me by Sanctus Real and thought "What if I ever hurt my future wife and kids? I don't ever want to lay my hands on my future wife and kids. Did I mean that about carving the words into my hands or is this a half-*** faith I have?"

So I decided to get them tattooed into my hands, cost me $100 for both hands on the fingers, just below the place where you put the wedding ring and the engagement ring facing me in small black letters right-side up so I could read them and remember and never forget, most people don't notice them at all.

And you know what? I FELT EVERY S I N G L E LETTER. It was like someone grabbed a knife and started carving the words into my hands and I got these "tattoos" as my scars to prove it.

The moment the pain started, I just thought this, "This is for you Jesus." when I thought I was doing it for my future wife and children. I did it for all of them, so I could be a better Son, and Husband and Father.

After that I stopped hurting those dogs completely, eventually.

Jesus desired to do all the thing we have done: sexual immorality, hatred, lying, stealing, etc. because you can't be tempted if you don't have the desire for it, but he chose not to choose those things and now that we have his nature as God's children: so can we and don't forget we have his Holy Spirit living inside of us as our Helper and Comforter.

Seek his comfort and his peace.

There is nothing wrong with also seeking fellowship in a local church where you make life-long friends in the our family of God not just once a week, but actual friends you can call and talk to and lean on.

Maybe even God has called you to become married to another Christian.

I know that when God calls us to something too great for us to do on our own, sometimes it is because he wants to show his power through us that through him we can do it, in addition to this he may be calling us to get married, as his calling is something only 2 can do in marriage. Think of Eve whom God made for Adam, and he called them both to rule over all of the earth and every living thing together.

GrumpyRN, NP · May 24, 2021

14 hours ago, ChristopherGllardoJr. said:

So I decided to get them tattooed into my hands, cost me $100 for both hands on the fingers, just below the place where you put the wedding ring and the engagement ring facing me in small black letters right-side up so I could read them and remember and never forget, most people don't notice them at all.

And you know what? I FELT EVERY S I N G L E LETTER. It was like someone grabbed a knife and started carving the words into my hands and I got these "tattoos" as my scars to prove it.

There is so much to unpack in that garrulous, logorrheic polemic.

However let's start with the quoted text;

Leviticus 19:28

14 hours ago, ChristopherGllardoJr. said:

This is the main difference between Christians and those without a god: they believe they are their own god and so they seek to "love themselves", "forgive themselves", and please themselves with the way they live their lives.

What utter nonsense, atheists do not believe in any god never mind themselves as god. People who believe that they are god are usually mentally ill. And yes I do seek to love myself and forgive myself because that way lies mental good health. I do not require some imaginary "thing" to do it for me.