I am coming back to this forum, after being away for many years, to communicate this message to you:
Are you kidding me? Why is this profession on "blast" everywhere? Every Instagram post has some covid/nursing/hero quote within it. Nurses are now dancing all over tik tok? Do you think this is cool? Do you think this is what professionalism is about? It is to the point where I am almost ashamed of being a nurse; our traditional nurse leaders are rolling over in their graves. Have humility, stop talking bad / complaining about how awful your jobs are. You came into this profession, probably for the $ and cause every other post on facebook influenced you. This is all part of the agenda: flood hospitals with nurses to drive down wages, make working conditions worse, and pay less. Basic supply/demand strategy used by all corporations to make their workers replaceable). There are plenty of good nurses out there, I am sure. I am just disgusted by the profession's turn: Nurses are shaking all their goods for social media; nurses have no respect for their patients and do nothing but talk chit. I am nothing like most of you, I am ashamed of you, have some respect. Be humble, stop fishing for attention on social media.
I hope you are being facetious with the rhetorical questions. Nonetheless, there is a gaping chasm between appropriate and grotesque display of emotions. The latter is further compounded by the insatiable need to conveniently record oneself. I said some, not all. That should should answer your last question.
Of course I didn’t think that you had some formula like two facial muscles = OK, > 10 muscles involved + > 103 dB ≠ OK. But I was genuinely wondering what you consider acceptable expressions of grief and grotesque ones.
As I said I’m Scandinavian but I have lived in a dozen countries on four continents. And grief certainly doesn’t look the same in all cultures. The same painful feeling, but expressed very differently. So I was simply curious about what you meant. But it’s not a big deal.
I think that the reason your ”stoic post” prompted me to reply in the first place is that so many healthcare professionals have experienced a sustained trauma during this pandemic and I don’t think that being stoic, which can be the same thing as ”bottling it up”, is necessarily the most healthy thing to do. But as I said, if it works for you that’s good.
Mind you, today's definition of "stoic" bears little resemblance to that classic school of thought. Currently I am reading "How to think like a Roman Emperor"
Nice. I have bookmarked it. I will catch up with it when I get a chance. I see that it covers Marcus Aurelius, the benevolent and tranquil emperor whose thoughts, demeanor and actions could benefit a lot us today in this day and age of instant-everything. Unfortunately, wisdom is still not instant. Delayed gratification is another underrated concept in our society today.
Of course I didn’t think that you had some formula like two facial muscles = OK, > 10 muscles involved + > 103 dB ≠ OK. But I was genuinely wondering what you consider acceptable expressions of grief and grotesque ones.
As I said I’m Scandinavian but I have lived in a dozen countries on four continents. And grief certainly doesn’t look the same in all cultures. The same painful feeling, but expressed very differently. So I was simply curious of what you meant. But it’s not a big deal.
I think that the reason your ”stoic post” prompted me to reply in the first place is that so many healthcare professionals have experienced a sustained trauma during this pandemic and I don’t think that being stoic, which can be the same thing as ”bottling it up”, is necessarily the most healthy thing to do. But as I said, if it works for you that’s good.
I try to pick my words carefully. I said appropriate and professional, not acceptable. Similarly, I have been around the world (5 contents and several countries) and interacted with multiple people whose cultures are dissimilar to mine. I am firmly aware of the array of differences in how people express grief. My contention is not what is culturally acceptable. I think that is entirely a different conversation. I am addressing professional conduct or lack thereof from nurses who parade their emotional outbursts and other self-pitying antics in social media platforms. As far as stoicism, I think our understanding of the philosophy rather than the denotative definition is perhaps different.
What's wrong with stoicism? We live in an age where expressing emotions is highly encouraged, but few people master emotional intelligence in this society, and nursing in particular. People are quick to react with emotions rather than reason nowadays that the cancel culture and being conveniently outraged is the fad du jour. Emotional intelligence is underrated.
Didn’t say there is anything wrong with stoicism. Point being yes it is important to be stoic and emotionally intelligent with the patients and in your work setting, but there’s nothing wrong with crying after work and letting it out...
Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.
9 hours ago, GS ED RN said:
Agreed- the OP seems like it comes from a place of bitterness - and also from a time when it was “taboo” to talk about our feelings - when we had to be stoic, put our heads down be so serious and work. Are some nurses on social media inappropriate? Of course - should we be ashamed of the whole profession? No!
And I’m sorry but what the hell is wrong with crying!? Do you not realize that the profession of nursing deals with the whole spectrum of HUMAN emotion? this means we as humans also need to decompress and if that means crying then so be it - is that means looking at hilarious nursing memes because nurses are the only ones who can relate to one another and find the same stuff funny so then be it! During COVID we have beared witness to absolutely devastating tragic circumstances- people f’ing dying alone - who is very likely at their side? A NURSE - That is not something to be ashamed of - it is something to be proud of - did it ever occur to that perhaps these nurses showing videos of crying or their N95 marks to their face weren’t just seeking personal gratification with a personal “narcissistic” agenda? but maybe, just maybe they did so to wake the public (their friends/family) the F UP to the dangers/tragedies harsh realities associated with COVID. Yes nursing is hard, no it’s not the only hard job. But we are humans caring for other humans - no need to be cruel and “ashamed”. Oh and don’t assume we all entered into for the “lucrative” pay because I’m sure many of us can agree I have seen and smelled some things that No amount of money can pay me enough to stay if I didn’t genuinely love being a nurse ( most of the time :))
There's nothing wrong with crying. Likewise there's nothing wrong with being proud of the profession and trying to enlighten others on the unique stressors of our career choice. I just fail to see how broadcasting it on the internet isn't a ploy for attention and praise and in my opinion it's distasteful. One does not require an audience in order to express grief and emotions. But hey, if someone wants to put themselves out like that, that's their choice, but you have to take the positive comments with the critical ones once you do, that's just how the internet works. Not to mention, we aren't the only profession being put under extraordinary stress, EMT's, police, funeral home and deathcare workers, mental health workers, are all under the gun.
Using your understanding, nurses who cannot control their behavior, manifested by the grotesque display of emotions while holding a camera recording these emotional outbursts lack a significant degree of EI.
They took the expression of their feelings out of work and onto the internet. It's not a choice most of us make, but it is a choice that was made with purpose, whether to simply release emotions into the void or to provoke reactions and responses.
In any case, though I personally don't find crying videos particularly compelling, I can't see how remaining solidly stoic about the ups and downs of this work, only to be as offended as the OP is by other nurses choosing to behave differently, is necessarily more indicative of greater wisdom. I don't have a problem with people dealing with their emotions quietly - it's certainly my preference to sort things out on my own and off screen. I just don't see how another nurse's Youtube post says anything about me or any of the other millions of nurses out there.
They took the expression of their feelings out of work and onto the internet. It's not a choice most of us make, but it is a choice that was made with purpose, whether to simply release emotions into the void or to provoke reactions and responses.
In any case, though I personally don't find crying videos particularly compelling, I can't see how remaining solidly stoic about the ups and downs of this work, only to be as offended as the OP is by other nurses choosing to behave differently, is necessarily more indicative of greater wisdom. I don't have a problem with people dealing with their emotions quietly - it's certainly my preference to sort things out on my own and off screen. I just don't see how another nurse's Youtube post says anything about me or any of the other millions of nurses out there.
I respect your premise. In fact I agree with your assertions on the subject.
“Be humble” as you try to chew an entire group out. Do you think you’re above anyone on tik tok because of your anonymous allnurses post? Are you more professional? This is just an insane rant that is more embarrassing than anything on tic tok. Self righteously judging the motives of others for entering the profession and how they interact on social media. Please go back to minding your own business.
I guess this means I can’t be a hero, an angel and won’t recognized on The Today Show or Ellen for my compassion and selflessness in nursing (or actually doing my job)? So what, big deal.
Crying videos? Get some counseling folks — seriously. PTSD is real and there is power in self-care.
Go viral? No, let’s hope not!! That means I’ve tested COVID positive and that will burn all my PTO and if I get really sick, who knows what misery or fresh hell my life will be like — if I survive.
So confused. ?
Any revolution in nursing WILL NOT be fueled by social media.
There's nothing wrong with crying. Likewise there's nothing wrong with being proud of the profession and trying to enlighten others on the unique stressors of our career choice. I just fail to see how broadcasting it on the internet isn't a ploy for attention and praise and in my opinion it's distasteful. One does not require an audience in order to express grief and emotions.
no they don’t - but don’t shame people who use an audience
But hey, if someone wants to put themselves out like that, that's their choice, but you have to take the positive comments with the critical ones once you do, that's just how the internet works. Not to mention, we aren't the only profession being put under extraordinary stress, EMT's, police, funeral home and deathcare workers, mental health workers, are all under the gun.
yes this is why I made sure to say nursing isn’t the only hard job - and those professions also deal with the wide spectrum of human emotion as nursing does. This aspect is what makes all of our professions unique but also incredibly difficult at times.
Not to mention, we aren't the only profession being put under extraordinary stress, EMT's, police, funeral home and deathcare workers, mental health workers, are all under the gun.
Are these other groups doing similar things on social media? (I honestly don't know, as I stay away from FB, Twitter, TikTok, etc. AN is as close to social media as I get...)
macawake, MSN
2,141 Posts
Of course I didn’t think that you had some formula like two facial muscles = OK, > 10 muscles involved + > 103 dB ≠ OK. But I was genuinely wondering what you consider acceptable expressions of grief and grotesque ones.
As I said I’m Scandinavian but I have lived in a dozen countries on four continents. And grief certainly doesn’t look the same in all cultures. The same painful feeling, but expressed very differently. So I was simply curious about what you meant. But it’s not a big deal.
I think that the reason your ”stoic post” prompted me to reply in the first place is that so many healthcare professionals have experienced a sustained trauma during this pandemic and I don’t think that being stoic, which can be the same thing as ”bottling it up”, is necessarily the most healthy thing to do. But as I said, if it works for you that’s good.