Nurses Eating Their Young- A Different Perspective

We all have heard it before. Nurses eat their young. We all have complained about it and people tell us "oh no, don't do that." Simple fact is that it happens, and I will try to explain to you why it does happen and why it is not always a bad thing. Nurses Announcements Archive Knowledge

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Nurses eat their young. It happens and people complain about it like it is a bad thing. It may be in your eyes if you are the one being eaten, but in my eyes I am going to eat you alive and spit out your bones into something that resembles a nurse. You are entering the cauldron of fire, so expect to get singed.

That above statement is already setting some of you on edge. I understand that and I accept that. I felt the same way at first, but as the years have passed by I have learned why we do it and more importantly, the reason. Let me explain to you why in a way that is not nursing.

Imagine if you are a soldier ... Lets take it from there

  1. Patient = fire team
  2. Pilot = Nurse Practitioner
  3. Officers = management
  4. Your squad mates = your fellow nurses with more experience
  5. Enemy = death
  6. MD = (sometimes the enemy) a fellow service member form another branch

You enlisted in the service, you passed basic training (nursing school) and now you are ready to join your unit. ( I know I skipped AIT, for those military among us) You show up on the bus all excited and happy to be chosen for this special unit. It is everything you wanted, it is just where you wanted to be. Great, happy to have you aboard, now get out the salt and pepper, or maybe the opposite is true. You do not want to be here, but rather this is the only place you could get to right now.

Fine, get out the salt and pepper

Be prepared to be eaten. I am your new squad Sargent. I am there to help you get acclimated to the unit and the patrols as FAST AS I CAN. You show up in your new shiny uniforms, new boots and the new weapons (ie: stethoscope, tablet, etc) and look around you and see the older squad mates' uniforms are faded, they may even be a bit tattered, our combat boots may not be shiny, heck they may even be a bit soiled. But you know what, to us your uniform looks uncomfortable on you and those ugly boots we are wearing, they are like a second skin to us and those new ones you got are going to blister your feet. We accept that and realize that with age your boots are going to get broken in and your uniform will fade. Just don't point out to us how yours is better or newer. New does not always mean better, sometimes our weapons that you think are old and stupid are the ones that never fail in combat. You start out like that and I will eat you so hard right there that you will wish you were never born. Your old Drill instructors (nursing instructors) have nothing on me in making you feel small if I choose to.

I introduce you to your squad mates and I show you around

I know you are new and do not know where everything is, but LISTEN to me when I am talking to you and pointing things out. I know it is a lot of information to digest, but it may save your life and your fire mission's life if you listen. I expect you to ask me questions, but think about the question first. Did I already answer it? Did I not just show you where the supply tent was? Did I not point out where to keep your gear? Did I not show you how to reload your gun or program in the fire coordinates on the fire control computer? I probably did and if you keep asking I am going to start to wonder about you and think maybe you are going to get me killed or the fire team killed.

Time for your first patrol

The officers come by and gives us our mission. We need to work as a team to complete it, there are no Rambos in our unit. Accept the mission, I will be there to help guide you and keep you alive, for now. I do not want the fire mission to fail at all costs. When I feel you are strong enough to do more of the mission on your own, I am going to let you, whether you think you are not.

So now we go into the field for combat against the enemy. I know you learned all these supposedly fancy new ways of combating them, but the enemy doesn't always react the way you were taught it would. Things are different in the field, than in the classroom. Don't tell me how to do something unless I am asking you how it is done the new way. Listen to me how to set up an ambush. I have been fighting these battles many years and I am still alive. Don't look above at the pilots flying around doing their thing while we are in the trenches and say you would rather be there. It takes time to learn to fly, and I skin you and filet you alive if you think you are better than the rest of your squad mates. If you express an interest in learning to fly, I will be happy to help you get to the point you can learn to fly. I want all my squad mates to succeed, because the fire mission will then succeed.

I am going to jump on you during the training I give you, I am going to eat you up, I am going to speak bad of you, I am going to report on you to the officers. I will make your life miserable for a while. I may not let you take lunch with your buddies from basic who are now in an another unit in your command. They may have their own mission to conduct, or our mission is going badly. Sometimes I may make you work extra hard helping another soldier out, who is up to their butt in crocodiles. I am also going to praise you when you need it, but don't count on it very often. I am going to ride your butt so hard, you are going to wonder why you even enlisted. You are going to think I am unfair, that I am trying to get you killed, that I am giving you too big of missions at times, but know this. AT ALL COSTS THE FIRE TEAM MUST DO THEIR BEST! Sometimes we don't win all the battles and death does come for the mission. we accept that and expect you to accept it and pick yourself up and carry on soldier. The time to grieve is later in private when it fails, but know this; we old eat their young and are also grieving about the loss, but realize there are other missions we are needed on at that moment.

My Goal

My goal in eating you up is to toughen you up so that you may lead other soldiers in combat and save the fire missions, maybe even help you get to be a pilot or an officer, which not all of us want. Some of us were previous officers but decided we liked the trenches with the blood and guts and muck better. My goal is to see you succeed and carry on our legacy and eventually replace me when I fall. Which one day I will fall and become a distant memory. Until that moment I am going to eat you up and spit out your bones into proud strong self reliant Nurse. That is why eating our young is not a bad thing.

Related topics...

Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

Nurses Eating Their Young Is Not Okay

Watch WHY Nurses Eat Their Young?! My Story video...

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Wish I could find you being called out and belittled in front of everyone is hard it breaks your confidence my patients and classmates will think I am not capable of the task

Huh? Please take some time to think about the concepts you wish to convey and then word them in a manner that we can understand.

You don't have to be a ***** to teach new nurses. I've taught plenty. You guide them, you teach them, you don't have to break them down. That's called an ego/power trip. I am confident and humble enough to be effective without being cruel. Yes I have been unkind and impatient at times but that isn't my goal. Now there are times when you have to lay down the law because someone is either downright dangerous and/or incompetent. Those times are few and far between in my experience.

I graduated nursing school just a few weeks ago and preparing for my NCLEX. I've spent a lot of time wondering what my preceptor will be like when I am hired and have an opportunity to be a real nurse. I have seen all sides good nurses, bad nurses, good students as well as bad. And I very much hope, I'm not unlucky enough to be stuck with someone who takes joy in the pain and humiliation of others.

It is my job to work hard, be prepared, and absorb as much information as possible while being oriented. It is my preceptor's job to teach me the ropes and help me learn. Yes, I do understand that not all nurses want preceptees...but I'm also thinking that those nurses don't want to work extra hours or have poor patient loads because they bullied the new grads into quitting. Sounds a lot like shooting yourself in the foot... That being said, I want to be told, clearly, if I'm about to do something unsafe. I want to know if there is a better, safer way to complete a task. I want to be a good nurse! You don't need to humiliate me to make that happen. Most times, I'll know I've made a mistake the moment I've made it, but not always, as I haven't gained the experience to make that judgement in all cases. Instead of talking behind my back and ridiculing me, ask me why I chose to do that, ask me what my thinking was and correct it. Use this moment to teach me a better way. Yelling at me won't teach me anything. Humiliating me, will only show others that you are a bully. Talking about me behind my back will damage my reputation, but eventually, it will speak more about your character than mine. You can't make me give up on being a nurse. You can, however, make me get my experience and get the heck off of the unit, leaving you with YET ANOTHER preceptee to teach and an increase in your work load....so yea...bully me. Seems like it hurts you more that it hurts me. Sad really, because with just a little common decency you could have helped made your unit a better and less stressful place to work.

"Nurses eat their young" is not an excuse for instructors or preceptors to treat new nurses badly; it's an excuse for new nurses and students when they find themselves in a more harsh environment than they expected being called out on an error they've made, a gap in their knowledge base or homework that wasn't done.

"Nurses eat their young" is not an excuse for for instructors or preceptors to treat new nurses badly-
CORRECT

it's an excuse for new nurses and students when they find themselves in a more harsh environment than they expected being called out on an error they've made, a gap in their knowledge base or homework that wasn't done.
INCORRECT

Here are just a few of the hundreds of links that clearly identify what it is in addition to it's being understood this way on AN. Just because we disagree with something doesn't mean we get to redefine it.

WHY DO NURSES EAT THEIR YOUNG?

Do Nurses Really Eat Their Young? â€" Donna Cardillo, RN

RealityRN.com | New Nurses, Real Conversations | student nurses preceptors continuing education nursing jobs RealityRN Why Nurses Eat Their Young… - RealityRN

Nurse-on-Nurse Hostility Remains an Issue

- Share Your Story - Nurses Eat theirÂ*Young------and*their*educated!!

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
You don't have to be a ***** to teach new nurses. I've taught plenty. You guide them, you teach them, you don't have to break them down. That's called an ego/power trip. I am confident and humble enough to be effective without being cruel. Yes I have been unkind and impatient at times but that isn't my goal. Now there are times when you have to lay down the law because someone is either downright dangerous and/or incompetent. Those times are few and far between in my experience.

:yes:

Specializes in Trauma, Education.
A) I get the Hit Lips Houlihan part, but wrong sex...

B) Don't ever call me a *********. That is a personal attack and not tolerated here.

C) I did not say don't ask questions, I said to write down the answers and to think if you already asked that question 5 times already. If you have repeatedly asked me the same thing over and over, I am rightfully going to believe that you are incapable of retaining information. Information that may very well save the life or cost the life of a patient.

D) It is not a power trip I am on. I am responsible for not only you learning the skills needed and the knowledge needed to work, I am responsible to make sure you don't hurt or kill a patient.

E) NEVER NEVER EVER WING IT!!!

So all in all..

My mistake.

A) Okay Frank Burns (is that better?), unfortunately, gender doesn't discriminate against your self-indulgent ego trip. It really doesn't matter-girl or boy, the fact of the matter is that the science proves that you are the problem.

B) Suddenly you are sensitive? Awww...That's really hard when people un-necessarily criticize you. Isn't it? You can dish it out in person, on new staff who are coming to HELP you, but on a nursing forum you can't take it? News flash: Personal attacks aren't tolerated in nursing. Who on earth are you to deem yourself responsible for hazing a nursing student under the guise of patient safety? And do you even know what a ********* is (9 stars!)? A little unusual from the 4-stars you're used to.

C) Wait a minute: You are telling me that you wrote ALL your answers down and never asked the same thing more than once (or 6 times)? Ever? Amazing! How on earth do you handle it when you have to explain something multiple times to your patient? That doesn't sound very safe.

If we were discussing an evidence based technical skill that was better for your patient and you disputed it in this same manner, refusing to do what is proven to contribute to better outcomes, you would be immediately dismissed. Therefore, I am going to rightfully assume that you are incapable of contributing to your units' ability to retain staff, provide a safe environment for your patient, and costing your facility and your unit precious dollars. Not only that, but if you can't understand THAT connection, with all the evidence behind it, well then, I shouldn't have to explain it over and over and over. Are you sure this is the right profession for you?

D) It's not for patient safety. I have watched world-renowned surgeons reprimand residents for doing something dumb in surgery that TRULY, IMMEDIATELY compromises patient safety. They have kept calm, corrected the situation, redirected the resident, TAUGHT the correct intervention and moved on.

I have seen others stop, throw things, call them some of those 4-star words, kick the resident out of the OR and take 15 minutes to rant, rave and insult. Guess which surgeon is safer for the patient, considered a better teacher and more often recommended? And guess whose patient gets brought back to the OR? Again, look at the evidence.

E) From the Joint Commission Sentinel Event Alert, Issue 40:

"Intimidating and disruptive behaviors can foster medical errors, contribute to poor patient satisfaction and to preventable adverse outcomes, increase the cost of care and cause qualified clinicians, administrators and managers to seek new positions in more professional environment."

"Such behavior includes reluctance or refusal to answer questions, return phone calls or pages, condescending language or voice intonation and impatience with questions.

A survey on intimidation conducted by the Institute of Safe Medication Practices found that 40 percent of clinicians have kept quiet or remained passive during patient care events rather than question a known intimidator"

Ummm I think they just described you. Ouch!

It doesn't say 40% of wimps, those with quiet personalities or those wishing to be molly-coddled or socialized with, remained passive. Does it?

I would like to challenge ANYONE on this listserv who feels that the behavior that has been described is acceptable, truly in the best interest of the patient, and fosters a safe environment, to locate and post just ONE, peer-reviewed, evidence-based research article from a medical or nursing journal that supports you.

I guarantee you it does not exist, and I am happy to provide you with a large, extensive laundry list of EBP to the contrary.

Bring it.

rbs105

I like everything about rbs105's post except for the stars as I'm not sure what they mean.

I'm especially looking forward to the evidence based and peer reviewed articles supporting the OP's teaching style. It's possible I didn't learn them correctly when I got my BS in Education and then taught kids and adults for 15+ years.

Being ex military and now a preceptor, i had many try to eat me, I am very stubborn. I don't cave in. But I did learn to resent those who were trying to eat me. I didn't learn much about being a good nurse by them. The nurses who took time to tell me why what I did was wrong and explain how to do it right is how I learned to be a good nurse. In 11 years I have been a preceptor to many nurses, new to nursing and new to ICU. All appreciated the way I taught. Writing someone up or telling the director of each screw up does no one good. Teach what is right in their screw up. How to make it right. Takes less time and train someone faster and more efficient this way. When the director asks how they are doing tell them the truth, they are having a hard time. Hate full negative style precept is in my opinion bad practice. Since my time in medical field have had alot of different people help me get to where I am today. I got farther with teaching and explanation of right and wrong then I ever got from the hateful hags I have worked with. Just my 2 cents worth

I am still a student but this is the same reason I left my ASN program and got accepted into a BSN. If my passion was the military then that is where I would have headed but I wanted to be a nurse not out into combat. I understand this "eating up and chewing out your young" maybe relevant in a ER setting or critical care maybe even a med/surg but not every aspect of nursing needs to be a drama filled tirade. I know the nursing field is now filled with second career but I have seen that the compassion in nursing is starting to dwindle. I have heard many times before "It's life or death" "the patients life is in your hand" and I totally understand that is why I love nursing but at the same time I am more likely to make a mistake in a hostile environment were I feel unsupported. I don't want anyone holding my hand I have past the stage of adolescence but I do need a guide that I don't feel threatened by. I am not the type of person that learns threw fear.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I am still a student but this is the same reason I left my ASN program and got accepted into a BSN. If my passion was the military then that is where I would have headed but I wanted to be a nurse not out into combat. I understand this "eating up and chewing out your young" maybe relevant in a ER setting or critical care maybe even a med/surg but not every aspect of nursing needs to be a drama filled tirade. I know the nursing field is now filled with second career but I have seen that the compassion in nursing is starting to dwindle. I have heard many times before "It's life or death" "the patients life is in your hand" and I totally understand that is why I love nursing but at the same time I am more likely to make a mistake in a hostile environment were I feel unsupported. I don't want anyone holding my hand I have past the stage of adolescence but I do need a guide that I don't feel threatened by. I am not the type of person that learns threw fear.

It's unfortunate that whoever coined the term "nurses eat their young' then went on to make so much money from books, speaking engagements, etc. Because the truth is nurses don't eat their young. I'm not saying there aren't poor preceptors out there -- they're there, in varying degrees. The thing is, though, they're poor preceptors and not nurses who have set out to bully, intimidate, frighten or "eat" their orientees. The person who made so much money off the term has frightened generations of students who then become new grads entering the workplace LOOKING to be eaten. Sadly, if you look for something, it will find you. Why not, instead, go looking for nice, helpful people who are preceptors and mean well toward you but have various levels of talent and skill at teaching. Take the good you can find from these people, and forgive or overlook the bad. That kind of attitude will serve you much better than screeching "The sky is falling, the sky is falling and nurses eat their young!"

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
The person who made so much money off the term has frightened generations of students who then become new grads entering the workplace LOOKING to be eaten. Sadly, if you look for something, it will find you. Why not, instead, go looking for nice, helpful people who are preceptors and mean well toward you but have various levels of talent and skill at teaching.

This! Attitude is a big player in how one views interactions with coworkers. If one expects to be eaten, that is what will be found, rather than taking constructive criticism for what it is- a way to mold new, novice nurses into the experienced preceptors of the future generations. Also, bullying is not unique to nursing; someone just happened to invent a new term for it. It also doesn't exist in reality in the huge amounts that it's made out to exist. There is a difference between bluntness/rudeness and true bullying; calling the former equal to the latter waters down the true meaning of bullying.

Specializes in Trauma, Education.

Fascinating. None of the supporters of the OP have been able to find and post any EBP stating that behaving like this and treating others the way that the OP suggested contributes to better outcomes.

I wonder...if it was a clinical skill that had horrible outcome, wouldnt you all do everything in your power to put an end to it? Wouldnt you fire a person who refused to comply with known policies?

If you are in ANY type of an accredited facility, there is a written policy in place that says you wont tolerate the OP behavior.

If you are in a Magnet facility, you told the ANCC that you don't tolerate the OP behavior.

Why would it be that all of these agencies are putting such an emphasis on this issue? And that none of you can produce any evidence that supports this notion??

Hmmmm.....