Nurses Eating Their Young- A Different Perspective

[Kyrshamarks]

Nurses eat their young. It happens and people complain about it like it is a bad thing. It may be in your eyes if you are the one being eaten, but in my eyes I am going to eat you alive and spit out your bones into something that resembles a nurse. You are entering the cauldron of fire, so expect to get singed.

That above statement is already setting some of you on edge. I understand that and I accept that. I felt the same way at first, but as the years have passed by I have learned why we do it and more importantly, the reason. Let me explain to you why in a way that is not nursing.

Imagine if you are a soldier ... Lets take it from there

1. Patient = fire team
2. Pilot = Nurse Practitioner
3. Officers = management
4. Your squad mates = your fellow nurses with more experience
5. Enemy = death
6. MD = (sometimes the enemy) a fellow service member form another branch

You enlisted in the service, you passed basic training (nursing school) and now you are ready to join your unit. ( I know I skipped AIT, for those military among us) You show up on the bus all excited and happy to be chosen for this special unit. It is everything you wanted, it is just where you wanted to be. Great, happy to have you aboard, now get out the salt and pepper, or maybe the opposite is true. You do not want to be here, but rather this is the only place you could get to right now.

Fine, get out the salt and pepper

Be prepared to be eaten. I am your new squad Sargent. I am there to help you get acclimated to the unit and the patrols as FAST AS I CAN. You show up in your new shiny uniforms, new boots and the new weapons (ie: stethoscope, tablet, etc) and look around you and see the older squad mates' uniforms are faded, they may even be a bit tattered, our combat boots may not be shiny, heck they may even be a bit soiled. But you know what, to us your uniform looks uncomfortable on you and those ugly boots we are wearing, they are like a second skin to us and those new ones you got are going to blister your feet. We accept that and realize that with age your boots are going to get broken in and your uniform will fade. Just don't point out to us how yours is better or newer. New does not always mean better, sometimes our weapons that you think are old and stupid are the ones that never fail in combat. You start out like that and I will eat you so hard right there that you will wish you were never born. Your old Drill instructors (nursing instructors) have nothing on me in making you feel small if I choose to.

I introduce you to your squad mates and I show you around

I know you are new and do not know where everything is, but LISTEN to me when I am talking to you and pointing things out. I know it is a lot of information to digest, but it may save your life and your fire mission's life if you listen. I expect you to ask me questions, but think about the question first. Did I already answer it? Did I not just show you where the supply tent was? Did I not point out where to keep your gear? Did I not show you how to reload your gun or program in the fire coordinates on the fire control computer? I probably did and if you keep asking I am going to start to wonder about you and think maybe you are going to get me killed or the fire team killed.

Time for your first patrol

The officers come by and gives us our mission. We need to work as a team to complete it, there are no Rambos in our unit. Accept the mission, I will be there to help guide you and keep you alive, for now. I do not want the fire mission to fail at all costs. When I feel you are strong enough to do more of the mission on your own, I am going to let you, whether you think you are not.

So now we go into the field for combat against the enemy. I know you learned all these supposedly fancy new ways of combating them, but the enemy doesn't always react the way you were taught it would. Things are different in the field, than in the classroom. Don't tell me how to do something unless I am asking you how it is done the new way. Listen to me how to set up an ambush. I have been fighting these battles many years and I am still alive. Don't look above at the pilots flying around doing their thing while we are in the trenches and say you would rather be there. It takes time to learn to fly, and I skin you and filet you alive if you think you are better than the rest of your squad mates. If you express an interest in learning to fly, I will be happy to help you get to the point you can learn to fly. I want all my squad mates to succeed, because the fire mission will then succeed.

I am going to jump on you during the training I give you, I am going to eat you up, I am going to speak bad of you, I am going to report on you to the officers. I will make your life miserable for a while. I may not let you take lunch with your buddies from basic who are now in an another unit in your command. They may have their own mission to conduct, or our mission is going badly. Sometimes I may make you work extra hard helping another soldier out, who is up to their butt in crocodiles. I am also going to praise you when you need it, but don't count on it very often. I am going to ride your butt so hard, you are going to wonder why you even enlisted. You are going to think I am unfair, that I am trying to get you killed, that I am giving you too big of missions at times, but know this. AT ALL COSTS THE FIRE TEAM MUST DO THEIR BEST! Sometimes we don't win all the battles and death does come for the mission. we accept that and expect you to accept it and pick yourself up and carry on soldier. The time to grieve is later in private when it fails, but know this; we old eat their young and are also grieving about the loss, but realize there are other missions we are needed on at that moment.

My Goal

My goal in eating you up is to toughen you up so that you may lead other soldiers in combat and save the fire missions, maybe even help you get to be a pilot or an officer, which not all of us want. Some of us were previous officers but decided we liked the trenches with the blood and guts and muck better. My goal is to see you succeed and carry on our legacy and eventually replace me when I fall. Which one day I will fall and become a distant memory. Until that moment I am going to eat you up and spit out your bones into proud strong self reliant Nurse. That is why eating our young is not a bad thing.

Related topics...

Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

Nurses Eating Their Young Is Not Okay

Watch WHY Nurses Eat Their Young?! My Story video...

[OCNRN63, RN]

I have always been in a nurturing environment as a student. Were there the hard nosed no nonsense nurses that felt they needed to put you through your paces...sure...but I took that as a challenge.

I think that nursing has it wrong since they stopped training preceptors and ensuring that new nurses are nurtured in a supportive environment so they can feel safe enough to learn and retain what they are being taught. When you have a new nurse who is constantly on guard and stressed he/she is not learning nor retaining what they are being taught...so who is at fault when the new nurse isn't "moving along" properly...to me in some instances it is the preceptors fault and their inability to teach.

But "Bully" and workplace violence are new buzz words and not all cases of NETY are actual cases of bullying. Just recently in the student section a student asked for assistance with their assignment. When they were told we do not do the work for them they became defensive and cried NETY. There is a current environment of "everybody wins" which I think is detrimental to an individuals development to deal with adversity and disappointment. Not everyone wins....and we do not do your work for you. The OP became defensive and cried "I'm being bullied" NO....you aren't being bullied you were caught trying to cheat the system and you are angry.

Just because corrections are not delivered with sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean you are being bullied. Nurses don't mince words. We don't have time to molly coddle new nurses. Not all criticism is being bullied....mistakes in nursing can cost someone their life. It is important that the new nurse realizes the implication of their mistakes. There is very little leeway in healthcare for mistakes. Too often I have seen the new nurse with the "Whatever" attitude as they roll their eyes, snap their gum, and make some statement about just getting their time in to move on to the real jobs like NP or CRNA....just to point out as you gain more responsibility your mistakes will become more dangerous.

I think we need to find a happy medium...tough love mixed with support. Just because a new nurse is told they are wrong is not being bullied. Do I think nurses eat their young no...but there are some that do.

My favorite NETY accusation was the student who said she had a preceptor who was patient and knowledgeable, b...b...but..."She won't socialize with me...WWWAAAHHH!!!" (Cue whining that could alert your town to a tornado approaching.)

[OCNRN63, RN]

I'm boggling over this "foley-as-IV" situation you describe. We would have been failed out of clinical - that would not have flown.

You can't "un-read" something like that. I now have a picture in my mind that disturbs me no small amount...

If anyone had been stupid (and that was flat stupid) enough to do that foley bag/IV stunt, that student would have been expelled with no chance of returning. Then the Director would have called the other hospital's school of nursing just a few miles down the road and told their Director what happened. That student would have found the other school of nursing closed to her as well.

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

Uh....from a nurse educator, I will say, no. For one thing, your attitude is quite selfish. I know this was written for the purpose of getting people fired up, and I suppose by responding I have taken the bait (it makes for some great poetry) but let me share the REAL reality, Hot-Lips Houlihan (that's a M.A.S.H. reference, for everyone born post 1985).

It's special that you think you have such supposed "power" over others, but the fact of the matter of this:

1-Being a ********* makes people treat YOU like a *********

2-When you are ******** people don't want to ask you questions (why? because you are a ********

3-When they don't ask you questions, they 'wing' it.

4-When they 'wing' it, people die

The fact of the matter-and the IOM will back me up on this, is that you are the one who causes medical errors. It's really cute that you think you are so special, to bring everyone up to your level, to be able to prove themselves, and welcome them to an elite group, but all of healthcare, medicine, nursing, pharmacy, etc has put the numbers to prove that YOU are in fact, the cause of costly mistakes in your institution.

To all nursing students out there: if you are assigned to this type of nurse who is priding themselves on smacking you around for "your benefit", you need to come and find me, your instructor and ask to be reassigned.

Sadly, once again, this will be my topic of post-conference with my BSN students tomorrow, and medical students on Monday.

Absolutely shameful.

rbs105

BSN Instructor for 5 years, Medical student instructor

[APRN., DNP, RN, APRN, NP]

Nursing is a hard role and in no way should we "baby" anyone. But let the situations break-in our young, inexperienced or even not-from-our-unit personnel. Step in when a patient's care is in question, take your lumps when you stepped in where you shouldn't have. We have a nurse on another blog FREAKING OUT because she made a mistake on a lab sample (not life threatening) and some of you on here seem to enjoy the thought of eating/ domineering over each other. Kudos to the rest of us who see the folly in high stress work environments.

Nobody puts baby in the corner......

[Kyrshamarks, BSN, RN]

A) I get the Hit Lips Houlihan part, but wrong sex...

B) Don't ever call me a *********. That is a personal attack and not tolerated here.

C) I did not say don't ask questions, I said to write down the answers and to think if you already asked that question 5 times already. If you have repeatedly asked me the same thing over and over, I am rightfully going to believe that you are incapable of retaining information. Information that may very well save the life or cost the life of a patient.

D) It is not a power trip I am on. I am responsible for not only you learning the skills needed and the knowledge needed to work, I am responsible to make sure you don't hurt or kill a patient.

E) NEVER NEVER EVER WING IT!!!

So all in all..

[ButterflyRN90, ASN, RN]

A) I get the Hit Lips Houlihan part, but wrong sex...

B) Don't ever call me a *********. That is a personal attack and not tolerated here.

C) I did not say don't ask questions, I said to write down the answers and to think if you already asked that question 5 times already. If you have repeatedly asked me the same thing over and over, I am rightfully going to believe that you are incapable of retaining information. Information that may very well save the life or cost the life of a patient.

D) It is not a power trip I am on. I am responsible for not only you learning the skills needed and the knowledge needed to work, I am responsible to make sure you don't hurt or kill a patient.

E) NEVER NEVER EVER WING IT!!!

So all in all..

Call it what you want, but majority here rules that it's a power trip/ego trip, etc. Let's hope I never have a preceptor like you. There's being firm, and then there's being a jerk. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Don't justify your mistreatment as anything else but hazing. Have a nice day.

[merrywhiterose]

There is no reason for the nursing profession to be such a back stabbing, cruel occupation.

[double red]

I did not like the phrase nurses eat their young when my instructor said it the first time I felt like it was just an excuse for her and others to treat new nurses badly every body has a first day and when you were new would it have been nice to have a fellow nurse there to help you . My instructors love to say if you have any questions just ask but you should know this. We'll go ahead and chew me up I know I will be sweet nurses are suppose to help people why can't we help each other .

[double red]

Wish I could find you being called out and belittled in front of everyone is hard it breaks your confidence my patients and classmates will think I am not capable of the task

[tinkerbell419]

This is a bit crazy if im being honest. I am a nurse not some navy officer so what's with all the battle zones and squadrons? Is this some weird justification for basically trying to destroy new nurses entering the profession because if thats the case then im not getting it. I dont want some sergeant major preceptor, just someone who can correct me if ive done wrong in a professional, diplomatic manner not stamp me out like a cigarette.

[tinkerbell419]

Exactly!!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I did not like the phrase nurses eat their young when my instructor said it the first time I felt like it was just an excuse for her and others to treat new nurses badly every body has a first day and when you were new would it have been nice to have a fellow nurse there to help you . My instructors love to say if you have any questions just ask but you should know this. We'll go ahead and chew me up I know I will be sweet nurses are suppose to help people why can't we help each other .

"Nurses eat their young" is not an excuse for instructors or preceptors to treat new nurses badly; it's an excuse for new nurses and students when they find themselves in a more harsh environment than they expected being called out on an error they've made, a gap in their knowledge base or homework that wasn't done.

As far as the rest of your post, it's so incoherent I cannot understand what you mean.