nurses attacking nurses

[bethgrace]

I've been an RN for 23 years now, and there is an awful aspect of this profession that I will never get used to - nurses attacking and tearing down their fellow nurses. Nurses who seem to revel in trying to make themselves look good by trying to make other nurses look bad. Its at its worst in bedside type nursing. And worst of all in hospital nursing. I don't work in hospital nursing anymore because of it and am moving away from all patient care type situations. I can't stand it anymore. Most of the reporting that goes on is ridiculous and mean spirited. Managers need to stop feeding into this kind of nurse's behavior because it make life miserable for everyone else. I think some nurses are so scared of making a mistake themselves that they go looking for mistakes in others, and spend large amounts of their time reporting their coworkers. Or maybe they are just mean.

[Flying ICU RN]

Each member reading this board should ask themselves two simple questions.

Do I honestly believe that nurses are incapable of camaraderie and unification?

On a interpersonal day to day level, is Nursing any different than any other profession?

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

OP, with taking somewhat of an uninvited liberty regarding Ruby's post, I think she was generalizing, not pointing the finger directly at you. We see posts daily regarding this topic, and Ruby has been in this profession for a while and has probably seen everything. I took her post to mean that IN GENERAL we should be able to speak to each other instead of gossiping behind backs.

Ruby, if I was totally off base, my apologies.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

op, with taking somewhat of an uninvited liberty regarding ruby's post, i think she was generalizing, not pointing the finger directly at you. we see posts daily regarding this topic, and ruby has been in this profession for a while and has probably seen everything. i took her post to mean that in general we should be able to speak to each other instead of gossiping behind backs.

ruby, if i was totally off base, my apologies.

you're exactly right. but some folks don't see it as me trying to help. oh well.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Ruby, I have learned to listen to you! You have been there, done it, and have some very sound advice. Thanks for putting the effort into your posts to ensure an accurate and honest view.

[itsmejuli]

The best supervisors and management stop gossip, cattiness and backstabbing right in its tracks.

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

I'm fortunate that my workplace does not have this atmosphere. We've had a couple travel nurses come in and begin gossiping and making passive aggressive comments, though. It's so interesting to see the RNs and CNAs confront such statements assertively and directly, and shut down the travel nurses' gossiping and backbiting. It just goes to show a nursing unit can establish a culture that does not tolerate gossiping or backbiting.

[fiveofpeep]

I'm so glad you brought this topic up and wished I would've came across this discussion years ago when I was a new nurse. I was bullied sooooooo badly as a new nurse at my first job. My fellow nurses were running to the manager and telling her mistakes I had made and running to each other and gossiping about me. Little did I know, the whole unit knew what I did wrong and were talking about it but smiling in my face. The worst part about it is when I worked several night shifts in a row sometimes, if someone complained about me after I left that morning, they wouldn't confront me that same night that I came back!!! They would say HI and pretend like nothing was wrong. But then I had to hear it from my manager of what that person that just said Hi to me complained about. HOW TWO-FACED!!!!!! This went on for months. I was so miserable and seriously had 2nd thoughts about my nursing career period. I thought that maybe I wasn't cut out for the job since I was getting so many complaints (and it would be silly small things like labeling tubing, or documentation, etc) The worst part was that my manager AND my preceptor completely did not have my back at all. I felt like they were in on it too. Most importantly, when I asked my manager why won't these people just tell me to my face what I did wrong b/c after all I am NEW and I am open to criticism, my manager would just tell me "Oh they aren't going to confront you. Everyone is scared of confrontation". Bull*****

Eventually another new nurse came along, and I was no longer under the microscope. She was now the new victim. They did the same thing to her as they did to me. They made her feel like crap and gossipped soooo badly about her. I immediately took her under my wing and encouraged her to just watch her back, triple check herself, and dot all her Is and cross all Ts b/c those women were definitely out to prove that we CAN'T be nurses. Like we aren't cut out for it. I lasted at that job for about 1yr and a half. I quit b/c I was tired of all the cattyness and could no longer stand driving home from work everyday worrying myself sick if I had forgot something, or did somethin wrong and who's going to tell on me next and if maybe I'm getting fired soon. I seriously felt as if I was back in high school and the crazy part about it is I was the youngest nurse on the unit. Majority of These women were 40+, some in 20-30s. Its so sad! I just wish nurses would realize that they need to help each other and not hurt them. Our jobs would be alot easier if we would all just get along, help each other out, and act as a team. : )

I seriously could have written this myself. It's almost scary how similar our situations are.

[ivorybunny]

Interesting, I came on here today to ask for some advice about this going on currently on my unit. One of the things that has bothered me so much is that dayshift complains about night shift leaving an outdated IV and the response is well they'll (meaning night shift) will just have to fix it when they come back in... well, ultimately isn't the patient the one suffering? I hear all the time it's a 24 hour hospital, but yet there's such a divide on what each shift should do. To me it just seems petty. I'm at a lost of what to do.

[bethgrace]

I'm so glad you brought this topic up and wished I would've came across this discussion years ago when I was a new nurse. I was bullied sooooooo badly as a new nurse at my first job. My fellow nurses were running to the manager and telling her mistakes I had made and running to each other and gossiping about me. Little did I know, the whole unit knew what I did wrong and were talking about it but smiling in my face. The worst part about it is when I worked several night shifts in a row sometimes, if someone complained about me after I left that morning, they wouldn't confront me that same night that I came back!!! They would say HI and pretend like nothing was wrong. But then I had to hear it from my manager of what that person that just said Hi to me complained about. HOW TWO-FACED!!!!!! This went on for months. I was so miserable and seriously had 2nd thoughts about my nursing career period. I thought that maybe I wasn't cut out for the job since I was getting so many complaints (and it would be silly small things like labeling tubing, or documentation, etc) The worst part was that my manager AND my preceptor completely did not have my back at all. I felt like they were in on it too. Most importantly, when I asked my manager why won't these people just tell me to my face what I did wrong b/c after all I am NEW and I am open to criticism, my manager would just tell me "Oh they aren't going to confront you. Everyone is scared of confrontation". Bull*****

Eventually another new nurse came along, and I was no longer under the microscope. She was now the new victim. They did the same thing to her as they did to me. They made her feel like crap and gossipped soooo badly about her. I immediately took her under my wing and encouraged her to just watch her back, triple check herself, and dot all her Is and cross all Ts b/c those women were definitely out to prove that we CAN'T be nurses. Like we aren't cut out for it. I lasted at that job for about 1yr and a half. I quit b/c I was tired of all the cattyness and could no longer stand driving home from work everyday worrying myself sick if I had forgot something, or did somethin wrong and who's going to tell on me next and if maybe I'm getting fired soon. I seriously felt as if I was back in high school and the crazy part about it is I was the youngest nurse on the unit. Majority of These women were 40+, some in 20-30s. Its so sad! I just wish nurses would realize that they need to help each other and not hurt them. Our jobs would be alot easier if we would all just get along, help each other out, and act as a team. : )

You put this beautifully. This is exactly what I went through. That awful fear of getting fired, of making a serious error. Driving home from your shift worried and scared. I wish I could say it gets better. I personally have never been able to stand any bedside type nursing job for more that 2 years because of this. I don't think the fear is same in other fields becuase I don't think too many other professions hold life and death in their hands the way nurses do. Its like our coworkers are out to prove wedon't care about causing harm, and that our skills are substandard compared to their own. Causing harm is most nurses worst nightmare. And chances are if you graduated nursing school your skills are pretty good.

[bethgrace]

Each member reading this board should ask themselves two simple questions.

Do I honestly believe that nurses are incapable of camaraderie and unification?

On a interpersonal day to day level, is Nursing any different than any other profession?

Based on 23 years experience in the profession - yes and yes

[Flying ICU RN]

Based on 23 years experience in the profession - yes and yes

When I was in the airline industry, both mechanics as well as pilots, could be oftentimes a bit hard on one another. Still, we would all come together when it counted, like these nurses on strike. However, one thing that was taboo, was going to management behind someones back.

I suppose then in that sense perhaps I could concede a difference.

It would be interesting to hear from a former flight attendant.

[Cat_RN, ASN, BSN, RN]

I disagree that one should always go to the offender first, instead of a manager, or that it shows cowardice to avoid confrontation with said offender. I can picture a particular person where I work, that if she ever confronted me in the tone I've seen her use with others, I would certainly file a complaint against her before trying to 'handle' her myself. Fighting with her, or telling her to 'tone down' would simply accomplish nothing. It isn't always productive to go right to the source with some people, it can create a worse situation for you. Personally, I'm not going to waste my time or detract from my dignity in arguing with someone like that. I simply ignore it at the time and bring it to a higher up later. These type of people will get theirs, in the end.