nurses attacking nurses

[bethgrace]

I've been an RN for 23 years now, and there is an awful aspect of this profession that I will never get used to - nurses attacking and tearing down their fellow nurses. Nurses who seem to revel in trying to make themselves look good by trying to make other nurses look bad. Its at its worst in bedside type nursing. And worst of all in hospital nursing. I don't work in hospital nursing anymore because of it and am moving away from all patient care type situations. I can't stand it anymore. Most of the reporting that goes on is ridiculous and mean spirited. Managers need to stop feeding into this kind of nurse's behavior because it make life miserable for everyone else. I think some nurses are so scared of making a mistake themselves that they go looking for mistakes in others, and spend large amounts of their time reporting their coworkers. Or maybe they are just mean.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Oh, I wouldn't be too quick to apply that notion across the board for any one gender.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

instead of complaining about catty, backbiting nurses, why not just confront them as suggested above? ask someone if they have a problem with what you did -- you'll either get a chance to explain your thinking or hear their rationale for doing it a different way or both. so many people jump on a thread to complain about catty, backbiting, backstabbing nurses, but admit they didn't talk to the person directly. so i guess you could say that they were being catty, backbiting and backstabbing by running their co-workers down rather than talk to them.

of course, if you make an effort to talk to someone directly, they may just call you a nasty, vindictive *****. or worse.

it never fails to amuse me that so many people spend so much time online complaining about other nurses talking about them behind their backs and apparently don't see the irony. grow up and talk to the person.

when addressing a person at work doesn't work, and you can not change a catty person, by the way.... sometimes it helps some people to vent as an anonymous person on this site. it can help. it's a form of therapy - of course it doesn't change what is actually going on at work, but it can help to gain a different perspective through others' shared experiences and opinions.....

[themoreyouknow]

I disagree that one should always go to the offender first, instead of a manager, or that it shows cowardice to avoid confrontation with said offender. I can picture a particular person where I work, that if she ever confronted me in the tone I've seen her use with others, I would certainly file a complaint against her before trying to 'handle' her myself. Fighting with her, or telling her to 'tone down' would simply accomplish nothing. It isn't always productive to go right to the source with some people, it can create a worse situation for you. Personally, I'm not going to waste my time or detract from my dignity in arguing with someone like that. I simply ignore it at the time and bring it to a higher up later. These type of people will get theirs, in the end.

I believe we should always use chain of command. We should address the person first. Sometimes people do not realize the mistakes they are making if we do not tell them. As this poster wrote - it's frustrating to have someone smile to your face and run to the boss behind your back.

If you are truly terrified of a certain staff member, then I can see going to the charge nurse/manager and asking for help in confronting her with a concern.

Either way - the person will know who reported them. Word gets around on nursing units and I've found that my coworkers and I have more respect for the person who doesn't just jump our heads and tattle to management.

[I love my cat!]

I have worked many jobs prior to Nursing. Nursing is (and will soon be "was") my second profession.

Honestly, I can say that Nursing is one of the worst for back-stabbing, competitiveness, envy and gossip. Yes, every career has these unfavorable traits, there is no denying that, but from my many, many years of Nursing experience, Nursing is by far the worst. My Mom and my Aunt are also RNs and we share a lot of stories. Frankly, the stories are UNREAL!

What is wrong with this Profession that so many individuals feel the need to act so mean and childish?

Oh, as far as confronting the bully? You take your chances. I've heard confrontations and the FIRST thing the bully will say is, innocently- "What are you talking about?" Total denial and then you look like a bumbling fool...trying to explain things that have happened and they will just look at you as though you are nuts. I have witnessed this! Going up the chain of command? Well, you had better be positive that individuals in Management are not friends with these bullies.

Bullies are so manipulative, they know exactly who to get on their side.

I am so sorry that you are having to experience this. It makes me very sad that people treat one another in such a rude manner in this Profession. Try finding other nurses that you can be friends with and that you trust. Chances are there are other Nurses that are feeling the exact same way, but they don't know what to do either. They also feel alone.

:hug:

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

and chances are if you graduated nursing school your skills are pretty good.

i beg to differ with you there. graduating nursing school means you learned the book material enough to regurgitate it for a test. it does not mean that you have pretty good -- or even any -- skills. test taking skills, yes. but critical thinking skills? not necessarily. and hands on skills are pretty much left to on-the-job training.

some new grads believe (or say they do) that doing a skills once with supervision entitles them to say they "know" the skill. they've been exposed to the skill. having "pretty good" skills means you've practiced them over and over and can do them well.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

It would be interesting to hear from a former flight attendant.

What would REALLY be interesting is hearing from the one who went down the chute with a beer! Now THAT is a post that I would love to read! Can you imagine one of us hopping on a stretcher with a loaded syringe of valium?? "See ya lata, suckas!" HAHAHA! Wouldn't be so funny when we ended up in prison, though.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

I don't see where you've posted previously in this thread.

Am I missing something?

I was also looking to see what you meant-I didn't see any posts by you. What are you angry about? This is a forum to discuss/vent/disagee/agree...we all value each other's feedback. I am sorry that you felt attacked. When I post something, I know that there will be disagreements with what I post, but I am willing to hear them out. Of course my knee jerk reaction is anger, because NOBODY wants to be wrong, (especially in a public forum!) but I also must consider an opposing view, and sometimes it helps me to see the other side of things. Please don't be discouraged!

[Flying ICU RN]

What would REALLY be interesting is hearing from the one who went down the chute with a beer! Now THAT is a post that I would love to read! Can you imagine one of us hopping on a stretcher with a loaded syringe of valium?? "See ya lata, suckas!" HAHAHA! Wouldn't be so funny when we ended up in prison, though.

No not that guy! He's up for charges on that little gig.

Serious business when you muck around with air transport regs and the feds, even joking around within earshot can find you facing charges.

Your stretcher and valium scenario is right on the mark!

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Flying-wouldn't that be hilarious? In a totally hypothetical situation of course. I am still trying to figure out if a valium salt lick or an airborne valium derivative would calm the princesses in the OR...