Nurse Manager gossiping about employees?

allnurses Guide · Dec 3, 2016

Oh geez... I'm inclined to say, if she wasn't able to give any type

of example of your supposed un-confident behavior, or give you

any suggestions on how to improve..

Well first of all, examine yourself. DO YOU think you lack confidence?

If so, why, or in what parts of your job? If so, is there an

experienced RN, a mentor, that you can go to to talk about

where you lack confidence?

I wouldn't go above her head, I'd just take what she said

for what it's worth. Maybe you DO lack self confidence and

need to find out why, and where to improve. Or, maybe

she's just talking to hear her head rattle. That's a

distinct possibility.

klone, MSN, RN · Dec 3, 2016

Well, from a nurse manager's perspective...

I have had to have that conversation with employees. Usually starts with "There have been some concerns brought to me by other staff members about x, y, z..."

No, that's not gossiping. That's addressing an issue that other staff members have with a coworker's performance or attitude or whatever. Nurse managers often do not work on the floor, thus they must rely on other staff members' observations regarding any performance issues.

However, I will say that I typically would not have a discussion with someone without concrete examples. And if an employee came to me with complaints about a coworker, I would insist they come back and talk to me once they have specific examples, including dates and details.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Dec 3, 2016

I think nursing as a profession is very unfair to its members when there's a complaint about staff. We are called into the office and "they" say something that the manager passes on, frequently pretty vague so the complainant cant be identified. The nurse is supposed to change base on what someone said, no context provided, it's impossible to defend because they wont tell you specifics. Nurses are left going out to work on the floor wondering who has their back, and what statement could be misinterpreted by someone passing by.

The law (including employment law) has a basic right to face your accuser. You should be given the opportunity to defend yourself, or add context, and question the person who is making the complaint. I've been called to the office for tone of voice...but not a specific instance, just generally told to be nicer, and it was a serious complaint, put in my employee file. How does one remedy that, especially in an ER where a stern tone, or loud voice might be appropriate to the situation.

My father is a teacher, and their union has a policy, that if the complainant is not willing to sign the complaint, they consider it non actionable. Sounds scary at first, but if a problem is serious enough, and you are a professional person, you should be ready to stand behind your words. Its childish to do what so many posters suggest, send an anonymous note to a supervisor when theres a problem. If you were a supervisor, who would you respect more, someone sending anonymous notes, or a signed letter? If you were the person with performance issues, what would help you improve...a fairly vague anonymous complaint, or specifics, and the opportunity to discuss the issue? We need to start respecting our own knowledge, and giving respect to our coworkers as they try to improve.

Davey Do · Dec 3, 2016

My nurse manager tells us tidbits about other workers. Uses general and vague 'they said...' statements when communicating areas she seems to think an individual needs to improve upon.

About the third year into my employment at my current place of work, during an evaluation, my supervisor said something somewhat similar: "Some of your coworkers think you're rude".

I responded with, "Some of my coworkers think I'm rude because I confront them on their inappropriate behavior".

I took this as the writing on the wall and read it to say that hearsay holds water. So, I began documenting, and if need be, submitting factual, objective reports to my supervisors. I'm sure this action has headed off many a chastisement at the pass.

I have now been employed at this facility for nearly 14 years and am in relatively good standing with administration and all my coworkers.

You've gotten some great advice, information from the other posters on this thread, Cola89. Stick by your guns and fight the good fight.

The best to you.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 3, 2016

That isn't gossiping. That is providing feedback. It may not be the positive feedback that you are hoping for. It might be poorly delivered feedback lacking details, direction and a plan of action. But it's not gossip.

I agree with other posters that your manager should have provided concrete examples or evidence that you lack confidence. She doesn't have to name names if it's not a formal complaint, but she could at least tell you when and what instance(s) occurred that made someone say this to her.

If you have a union, I would consider mentioning this to your shop steward and see what he/she thinks.

johsonmichelle · Dec 3, 2016

When she says you lack confidence she needs to give specific details. I had a manger like her, she would say that i have complaints against me, when I asked her to provide details of the complaints she couldn't. I worked there as a cna and left when I passed my boards. I can not personally work for managers who behave likes that. Shows poor manager and leadership skills. Your manager feedback is not an example of constructive criticism.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Dec 3, 2016

My nurse manager tells us tidbits about other workers. Uses general and vague 'they said...' statements when communicating areas she seems to think an individual needs to improve upon.

I think it's very strange that you are framing your manager giving you feedback from your peers as "gossiping" or telling you "tidbits about other workers." That's not AT ALL what she did. Telling you "tidbits about other workers" or gossiping would be your boss saying that Janie has a drinking problem or that Joe is getting a divorce.

Your manager is telling you what your coworkers have said while giving them anonymity, which given your reaction, seems very appropriate imo.

Rather than being defensive and mischaracterising your manager's comments, it might do you some good to reflect on what she actually is telling you. Honest introspection is never a bad thing.

And going over her head to report her " ineffective ***** management style" is not going to make HER look bad; it's only going to reflect poorly on YOU.

I wouldn't ignore what she said, either. Again, introspection is a good thing. Everyone has weaknesses, including you, right? Maybe this is something you are indeed projecting, and you can work on either why that's the impression you are giving off, or talk with her again, saying you've thought about what she said, but would like some actual examples of this lack of confidence, and what she thinks you actually need to do to improve.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 3, 2016

My nurse manager tells us tidbits about other workers. Uses general and vague 'they said...' statements when communicating areas she seems to think an individual needs to improve upon.
For instance; she asked me to come into her office when I got a chance to. When I did, she proceeded to say 'they' said (some of my coworkers, she won't specify who) said you seem to lack confidence. Then she didn't offer much in the way of suggestions. It was very vague and very insulting to me.
Others who are new to our department have stated she has done the same to them too. Only, they have either quit or gotten fired by now.
Should I go above her head to HR and let them know about her ineffective ***** management style? Or just ignore her? I don't see myself being able to reason with someone who acts like this.
Also please note: I work in an ER where the ft medical director called the nurses monkeys before I started there. He still has his job, but is known to **** and complain about nurses on a whim. He gets emotionally worked up easily...

Your manager isn't gossiping; she's giving you feedback. I'm sorry it wasn't the positive feedback you were hoping for, and I'm sorry it was delivered in a vague manner and without suggestions for improvement. Nevertheless, it is valid feedback and you should take it seriously.

Going over your manager's head to HR is going to make you look bad. It's not a very smart move. Neither is ignoring her. Your boss gave you some feedback; you may not like the feedback or the delivery, but she is your boss and you should give it some serious thought. Take some time for introspection; perhaps you can see instances where you acted without confidence and how you can improve. Can you identify a senior nurse whom you admire and who might take you on as a mentee?

The medical director called nurses monkeys before you started there, and you've heard all about it. THAT is gossip; not the feedback your manager gave you.

TriciaJ, RN · Dec 4, 2016

I've had managers that liked to pass on "complaints" that were extremely vague and from anonymous people. My responses:

"If I had specifics, I could take that seriously." "If I knew who I caused a problem for, I could apologize and make amends."

That lets a manager know that you are open to legitimate feedback but you are not going to be sucked in by nonsense. It also cuts way down on being dragged into the "principal's office."

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Dec 4, 2016

I've had managers that liked to pass on "complaints" that were extremely vague and from anonymous people. My responses:
"If I had specifics, I could take that seriously." "If I knew who I caused a problem for, I could apologize and make amends."
That lets a manager know that you are open to legitimate feedback but you are not going to be sucked in by nonsense. It also cuts way down on being dragged into the "principal's office."

IMO, feedback isn't necessarily not "legitimate" because the source is anonymous. The problem as you describe it above is that it is vague. For example, if a new nurse is not charting her vital signs at the appropriate intervals, it really is irrelevant who reports it. Apologies are not needed, action to remedy it is. In the OP's scenario, there was no specific complaint given and no plan for improvement suggested. Those are the important missing pieces.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Dec 4, 2016

Nurses are the worst for performance reviews. You can do no right. Some day you may get to work for a non-nurse boss and will get a great review if you do a solid good job.