Why do We eat our young?

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Why do you think we eat our young or even our own? Why do you think there is bullying in nursing? Why do you think we almost act like we are out to get other nurses?

Why do you think we eat our young or even our own? Why do you think there is bullying in nursing? Why do you think we almost act like we are out to get other nurses?

Any real discussion about this must include a thorough hashing out of why so very many people tend to feel eaten/bullied these days. And yes, that is my anecdotal/personal observation.

For instance:

Person A who replies with a brief/shortened answer to a question from Person B which interrupts Person A's concentration, is not eating or bullying anyone, and the shortened, non-flowery reply shouldn't cause Person B to need therapy in order to figure out why "no one" likes him/her or why "everyone" is so rude.

Person A giving a recommendation or directive to Person B (such as "this patient needs to be on a cardiac monitor; all patients getting ______med that you just pushed_____ need to be on a cardiac monitor") should not induce Person B to feel "picked on". It shouldn't really cause any other internal reaction than, "(oops!!) Thank you!" Person B's personal feeling of embarrassment is not evidence of some evil nature of Person A.

Etc.

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Could some/many of us stand to be just a little more careful with our words and more careful with non-verbal messages? Yes, of course. And some/many of us could stand to stop processing every single interaction as a personal indictment - - or on a mostly personal level, period. But then, this may be true for society as a whole, not just nurses.

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

This whole topic drives me nucking futs. I find the whole notion of NETY ridiculous. In 17 years of nursing I have never encountered a bully. I have encountered some mean nasty people for such - but I just stand up and refuse to be intimidated and they find someone else to pick on. The fact of the matter is that bullies have always existed in every walk of life. A bully tends to be someone with either very low self esteem or very high self esteem. In general they are unhappy people and they are predators by nature. Predators prey on the weak so if you present yourself a weak and vulnerable to bullying you will likely find yourself facing one of these cretins at some point in your life.

The op points out that he/she was bullied as child and therefore knows what a bully is. I too was bullied as a child - but I was raised by very self reliant people so when my dad found me crying n the barn he told me that he would like me to try to "Sort it out on my own." He told me I had to decide right then at 6 years old if I was going to be a victim for the rest of my life. The next day I went to school and when my bully started to tease me I made a fist turned around and hit her on the chin. She was bigger but I caught her by surprise and she landed on her butt. Th rest of the kids named me scrappy and I was never bothered again.

I find the millennial generation who are so used to having every difficulty smoothed out for them that they don't know how to react when they meet up with someone who is mean or negative. Again you chose how you want to be viewed. If you are continually looking for bullies you will find them. If you continue to feel victimized you will be. If you stand up and look the bad actors in the eye they will back down.

Hppy

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I will say what I always say. I have been reeled in more than once by an experienced nurse who cared and took the time to show me a skill or explain a rationale to me. Sometimes they were brisk, sometimes they weren't. Because they pointed it out, it made me a safer nurse and it wasn't bullying, they could have easily just let me flail. Direction or redirection is not bullying, it's guidance and I'm better off for it.

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The hardest part is becoming a vegetarian was giving up young nurses.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Any real discussion about this must include a thorough hashing out of why so very many people tend to feel eaten/bullied these days. And yes, that is my anecdotal/personal observation.

For instance:

Person A who replies with a brief/shortened answer to a question from Person B which interrupts Person A's concentration, is not eating or bullying anyone, and the shortened, non-flowery reply shouldn't cause Person B to need therapy in order to figure out why "no one" likes him/her or why "everyone" is so rude.

Person A giving a recommendation or directive to Person B (such as "this patient needs to be on a cardiac monitor; all patients getting ______med that you just pushed_____ need to be on a cardiac monitor") should not induce Person B to feel "picked on". It shouldn't really cause any other internal reaction than, "(oops!!) Thank you!" Person B's personal feeling of embarrassment is not evidence of some evil nature of Person A.

Etc.

Dang! My problem with this post is two-fold. First, I didn't think of it myself and second, I can only like it once.

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I think nursing schools today, perhaps not all schools but definitely many instructors, do students a huge disservice by teaching them to expect 'bullying' as they enter the workforce. They come in expecting it and find it around every corner: the perceived look on the face of a more experienced nurse's face when a question is asked, the tone of someone's voice, even well meaning attempts to offer guidance. I think new nurses need to humble themselves, admit to themselves that they don't know it all yet, and accept help when it's offered. New nurses need to spend time learning how to be nurses not looking for bullies. It's a long and arduous process. Nursing is a team effort not 'it's me against them.' The ones who learn that early in their careers tend to thrive as nurses.

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Why do you think we eat our young or even our own? Why do you think there is bullying in nursing? Why do you think we almost act like we are out to get other nurses?

Not just our young, we eat our old, our travelers, our new staff of any age, our "whoever does not fit in our clique', our MS RNs, our LVNS ad infintum...

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.

The are high protein, low in sugar, excellent quality snacks and taste so delicious.

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Specializes in A variety.

Looks like the majority of you are the example to which the original poster refers. So many snide and sarcastic remarks for somebody asking a simple question. If you didn't like the question or think it's invalid, why not ignore it? All these corny jokes about new nurses being more tasty and crunchy. Apparently this person has felt intimidated by more experienced nurses, has witnessed it, has done it, or fears it exists. The best answer from many of you could have been that this is a myth and you haven't witnessed it in your career.

To the original poster I would say if you have witnessed or experienced this, there are people out there who feel empowered by belittling others. This practice isn't limited to nursing. You may see this happening in other fields where the inexperienced is among the experienced.

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I think nursing schools today, perhaps not all schools but definitely many instructors, do students a huge disservice by teaching them to expect 'bullying' as they enter the workforce.

...and then use a definition of "bullying" that is very skewed, IMHO. For example, "bullying" is not "being disrespected just because I am new" - - in fact, one isn't even "being disrespected" many of these times!

Newer nurses certainly have no less right to be treated w/ the same general respect due any other human being, but at the same time must recognize that general nursing knowledge and experience is less and nursing-related wisdom is less. Feeling somewhat self-conscious about that is a normal feeling but does not translate into a reason to call nearly every interaction "being treated with disrespect" or "being bullied." If you are new, you simply do NOT possess the knowledge base that your more experienced peers do; please remember that I am speaking in very general terms. Your peers were once in that very same place. We learned and progressed toward "Expert" by processing information, feedback and wisdom from our Seniors intellectually instead of taking it overwhelmingly personally. If, years ago, someone were to say to me, "You should be using a 1.5" needle for that, not a ¾" needle," I would listen to the rationale and realize that I just got a little bit smarter about this "nursing thing" as opposed to thinking, "she picked on me just because I'm new. She watches everything I do just looking for a chance to make me feel stupid."

Frankly society's recent uses of the word "bullying" are somewhat strange to me. I disagree that if someone "feels" a certain way, the cause of that must be something external and inherently negative (i.e. something someone else did/said that was inherently wrong or bad). Secondly, true bullies (by a more traditional definition) are people with serious problems anyway, as pointed out earlier in this thread. So why so many people want to make that "all about me" is weird; inaccurate. Why not just walk away knowing that the "bully" (these days aka "person with a bad attitude") has a problem which is not a reflection of (or onto) "me"?

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So many people think of themselves as victims that I wonder who's left to victimize them, sometimes. These "bullies" must be more busy than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

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