Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 122

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   rph3664
    Quote from WoofyMutt80
    There are some PIA pts, as sad and sick as they are, need to have their picture on file at ER's and pharmacies and have a notice IF YOU SEE THIS PT DON'T SERVE THEM! but sadly it doesnt work that way!
    Pharmacies can and do ban customers, just like any other retail business. Remember that we are allowed to refuse to fill any prescription, for any reason. Any town or region will have a phone tree to alert other pharmacies when a prescription forger, etc. shows up.

    When I was in retail pharmacy, we did have a customer who had been banned from the local ER. I don't know how they pulled that off, but he was; this was a small town. I suppose if he arrived in an ambulance with chest pain, he would have been treated, but whenever he came by needing drugs, they turned him away.
  2. by   simboka
    "If you insist that you are not to be woken up over night for silly things like vitals, labs, or meds, don't expect me to respond to your call light over night."

    Quote from Meriwhen
    I could get them some Phenobarb, but they'll have to have a seizure first
    Are you sure that wasn't a seizure? it sure looked like one to me *wink wink*
  3. by   WoofyMutt80
    We had a pt who came in for chronic pain and the Dr prescribed Percocet, a little while later I get a call from the pharmacy saying they cannot fill the Percocet because she is taking Suboxone and it will lower the amount of pain med in the Percocet. I alerted the Dr about this. It is possible that our pt DID NOT tell us EVERYTHING, but forgot to tell us that she fills her other meds at the same pharmacy! Something needs to be done for "Doctor/Pharmacy Shoppers"! Maybe it is time for a Patient Narcotic Registry?
  4. by   Peetz
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    No, threatening to leave AMA will not make me bring what ever you want that it's not time for any sooner. I will, however, offer to help you pack.

    Classic! Love it. LOL.
  5. by   whichone'spink
    Look, I realize you don't get a lot of good stuff at the county jail, but you're diabetic and you CANNOT have any more hot chocolate.

    This was something I should have said this week. But I did ask my diabetic patient if he wanted tea instead and he said yes. Next time, I'll be more careful with the manipulative patients.
  6. by   mixyRN
    Quote from ms kylee
    you're not my only patient. stop thinking and believing you are. there are other people sicker than you are that do need me.

    this is a hospital not a spa. we don't work on your schedule, you need to adjust to ours.

    you wanna check out ama? be my guest... there's the door. i'll even help you pack.

    i have no idea what time your doctor is coming. i forgot my crystal ball today. it won't fit in my purse.

    i can't tell you what's wrong with the patient up/down/across the hall. there's this thing called hipaa.

    i'm not a waitress. at least when i was a waitress i got tips.

    if i had a penny for everytime the patients ask when their doctor is coming, i could retire already!
  7. by   sharpeimom
    i have no idea what time your doctor is coming. i forgot my crystal ball today. it won't fit in my purse.

    you and you and your entire family are such collective pains in the azz that your doctor decided to take early retirement... sorry! :d

    shar pei mom
  8. by   redraccoon
    OMG... I could fill a whole notebook... maybe a whole book!

    To the person returning for her 4th foot surgery (this time broken hardware)...
    a. If you would take off some of your 330 pounds maybe your feet wouldn't bother you so much
    b. If you would stop smoking maybe it would help your circulation and healing process
    c. If you would even attempt to control your diabetes it might just help your circulation and healing process
    d. And if you would just follow the %## discharge instructions you might just help yourself.... hello, non weight bearing means NO WEIGHT. Yes, you can walk on it after taking 3 percocet ... but that doesn't mean its a good idea.
  9. by   lmazz
    "This is a Hospital NOT a Hotel!!"
  10. by   MiamiLPNstudent
    Quote from PeachPie
    There is a darned good reason why you have no friends and everyone leaves you eventually: You are a toxic person with no social skills or sense of basic decency, you take your emotions out on anyone around you, it's never your fault, you never learn, and you interpret hep or suggestions as personal attacks. You take for granted that people are going to listen to you listening to yourself talk. You don't even try to have conversations, you just conquer the conversation and don't notice that people are trying to back away or ask you important questions. What you idealize as a friendship is what most people know as emotional monopoly, worship of you, and jealous possession. You worship and praise people you "like," and hate them when they don't concur with the aforementioned idealisms. Even the nurses you "like" request not to be assigned to you because they know it's only a matter of time before you hate them. The only reason why therapists stick around as long as they do is because they are required and paid to listen nonjudgmentally and respect your autonomy to harm yourself all you want, and you fire them soon anyway. You're not going to learn, and I really hope that you run out of nurses you'll allow to take care of you and decide to go to another hospital because as unfounded as they are, your complaints are taken seriously. I hope that your wolf-calling catches up to you someday.

    Sorry. I try not to let my mom loose on too many people!!
  11. by   MiamiLPNstudent
    This one is for the pt in the SA treatment center:

    To the court ordered pregnant pill-popping, alcoholic crackhead:

    1. PLEASE stop drinking the hand sanitizer, perfume, hair spray, and vanilla extract. It's just nasty!!
    2. I will NOT call your boyfriend/baby daddy/dealer/pimp to bring you "something" for your headache, yes you are restricted to Tylenol. You will NOT get your fix on my shift. I have also alerted law enforcement, so if your SO even breathes in this direction, he will be arrested!!
    3. Your tears and crying about me during your one 10 min phone call this week will not change my mind. You only have 5 minutes left, use it wisely.
    4. Your baby isn't moving because she is drunk & high!!
    5. Please do not spend your $$ on anything for this baby, because the state will be taking her from you immediately after they cut the cord!
    6. No getting high on your 1 day pass will NOT help you get you 8 kids back. Your parental rights have already been terminated!!
    7. Since you have decided to use during your entire pregnancy with NO prenatal care and are now extremely high risk in my facility, I now have to call 911 everytime you have abd pain and look @ your firecrotch to make sure you're not crowning! (I would really like to not throw up in my mouth several times weekly)
    8. Please wash your snatch daily since you know that I will be looking in there regularly since you want to keep showing signs of preterm labor.
    9. GET YOUR TUBES TIED!!!!!!!! You have set the popluation of our county to an all new high!!
    10. It was probably not a good idea to try and snort laundry detergent. Yeah...feel the burn!!

    I'll stop @ ten.
  12. by   Meriwhen
    Quote from Ms Kylee
    You wanna check out AMA? Be my guest... There's the door. I'll even help you pack.
    I love when my patients think they're threatening me by saying they'll go AMA...because unless they're really psychotic, I pretty much tell them exactly what you wrote. And I love it when their face falls, they say "Oh" and back down, and are meek little mice for the rest of the shift

    Trust me, patients: if you want to leave, fine by me--I won't lose any sleep over it!
  13. by   dirtbikechiky
    Dear Patient:
    Really nurses are not stupid. We have had every trick pulled on us more then once. First thing is you are not having a seizure if you are still talking to me. If you are nauseous why did you order fried chicken, french fries, ice cream, and a coke from the cafeteria and then want your phenergan because you zofran just doesn't satisfy you. To a few male patients if you can feed yourself you can at least wash your front half I am not here to show you a good time your here to get better. Yes you do have to get out of bed no matter how bad you feel I'm not mean I am doing my job, it would be mean of me to let you lay in bed all day. If your NPO it means you can not have anything to drink or eat and we know when your sneaking stuff. I have other patients and I'm sorry if I can't meet your needs immediately but your need will be answered in a timely manor. You can't leave the floor with a PCA and the reason is that people tend to share their PCA with other patients. Sex in the hospital is gross you are ill, and I do not want to walk in on you having relations with a significant other, patient or stranger. Please respect me and I will respect you.
    your nurse