I work with two CNAs that don't drive. One (Amy) simply doesn't have a license due to a mental/physical disability since birth. The other (Kim) has a license and a car, but the car is broken down and she can't afford the repairs. Both expect a ride home from coworkers every day.
Amy often goes to a friend's house instead of to her home. Her friend's house is literally two blocks from the facility where we work. She has never even asked me for a ride, she simply waits by my car and gets in when I unlock the doors. Kim lives about three miles away and used to ask for a ride, but now she simply tells me she will be waiting for me. They do the same thing to other coworkers who drive.
It isn't a big deal because it only takes about ten or fifteen minutes to get them both home. I don't think that any of us spend much extra money on gas. I think there is just some frustration with being expected to deliver them to wherever they need to go. Neither has ever offered to pitch in for gas.
Kim is a single mom who leaves her children with her mother while she works. A few days ago, Kim's mother called her while we were on our way to her house. She was concerned because Kim wasn't home yet. I only heard one side of the conversation, but Kim made the comment to her mother, "The nurse who is taking me home didn't manage to get out on time. She really needs to be more considerate of the fact that I have obligations at home." It was a long and lousy night. I was tempted to pull over and tell her to get out (not that I ever would, but it certainly annoyed me).
All of us who take them home have similar issues. We are just seeking some advice on how we can reduce our frustration about this. One of the CNAs that gives them rides has said she is going to start charging them fifty cents every time she gives them a ride.
Also one day when someone was dropping Amy off, her car died in the parking lot of Amy's apartment complex. She ended up having to call her husband to get it moved and eventually restarted. Amy told her that her car is a piece of junk and that she got in trouble with her landlord for having a friend's car in the lot overnight. She said that from now on Amy and Kim can just walk.
I have to agree with everyone else on what is being said however I cannot help but feel sort of bad and so I can see why you might feel guilty. These individuals seem to be on hard times but are breaking the cardinal rule of being someone on the receiving end of charity.
One has a mother that is watching her kids and the other who has a friends whose house she is dropped at.....Not without resources....
And seems to me that no one asks...it is an assumption and a lurker at your car when you get out of work.....creepy and whacked. Hence why a fair warning that they should not be waiting by the car....and avoids the keeping all the doors locked and jumping in, locking your door and speeding off.....(cause then you run the risk of running over their feet, then it is a whole workman's comp thing, they sue your insurance company.......)
Reminds me of a similar situation the poor CNA, had bummed rides citing she was poor. Never offered to pay a nickel but took a nice trip to Hawaii, then we all stopped giving rides.[/quote']
This.
I live in a touristy district and it never ceases to amaze me how many people from the 'hood and the "project" somehow manage to score a vacation in hotels I never can afford. The other night I was chatting with an LPN in line at Walgreens. She was getting a ton - and I mean a TON - of booze and cigarettes. She told me she'd left her four kids from five men with her boyfriend back in Chicago winter and was down here with another man she'd met on Craigslist, enjoying the sun and surf.
Meanwhile of course her car was broke and her salary as an LPN was "pitiful" and so forth and so on.
Of course when her liver fails or she gets lung cancer, it will be everyone's responsibility to pay for her medical care.
This must be why I was never very popular in school..... because I would have been like, "Excuse me, why are you getting into my car?"
Haha, I know right. GenX here. I don't know what's wrong with this current generation, but they seem to be lacking a spine.
"I'm sorry, but I can not take you home today(this week, this month, this year, etc...)." End of story, no further explanation necessary. What would you say if they asked you to help them bury a body? Would you just go along with that too?
I tend to be a pushover for things like this. It is hard for me to say 'No' to something simply because I do not want to do it. I know that Kim has had a falling out with one of the people who took her home most often. That person is simply no longer willing to do it. I would like to find a way to keep the friendship and working relationship without having to play taxi. We are a small facility, so no matter what, we are all stuck working together.
For those that have asked, there is simply NO public transportation other than the van that take the elderly to the clinic or the grocery store. It is run and funded by the senior center and they do have age requirements for it. They also don't run until 8:00 AM, so that won't benefit us at 6:00 AM even if they helped someone who is younger.
Their transportation is not your problem, it is theirs. It doesn't matter that there is no public transportation. They have a way TO work, so they can probably find a way home.
Give yourself permission not to be a pushover.
Remember, being a doormat requires two things: a mat that just lays there, and a person to walk on it. Don't just lay there.
Of course when her liver fails or she gets lung cancer, it will be everyone's responsibility to pay for her medical care.
You said that she works as an LPN, so presumably she has health insurance, right? Why would "everyone" have to pay for her medical care?
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Well, I make no claim to be fully aware of U.S. insurance norms, but presumably to have health insurance through her employer, she needs to be employed, right? And if she becomes gravely sick, she won't be working, right? Therefore she will fall back on the system, meaning everyone else pays, right?
Clearly, I am in the minority here but I think that you guys giving them a ride is a good thing. It does suck that they are not appreciative of the favors you guys are doing, but I'm a big believer in karma. You are doing a good deed, one that, in the grand scheme of things is a slight inconvenience but does do someone else a favor.
Another suggestion would be to approach them directly. On one of your rides back be like "It's not a huge deal for me to take you home, but it would make me feel better about it if you would say thank you, seem a little bit appreciative, or offer to chip in for gas every once in awhile."
Just my opinion, I don't know. I agree that their transportation issues aren't your problem, but part of being a society is helping each other out....and in my belief, the "good karma" will positively benefit you in some way!
Well, I make no claim to be fully aware of U.S. insurance norms, but presumably to have health insurance through her employer, she needs to be employed, right? And if she becomes gravely sick, she won't be working, right? Therefore she will fall back on the system, meaning everyone else pays, right?
People get to be sick without necessarily losing their jobs. That's what sick leave, short- and long-term disability benefits, and FMLA are for. And they are still covered by their employer-provided insurance as long as they are still employed. That's not to say that an individual wouldn't eventually, depending on the severity of the illness, get to the point where s/he had to give up her/his job. In that case, COBRA insurance through the employer is an option for up to an additional 18 months. But, yes, it's possible that any of us could end up catastrophically ill and eventually unemployed, and dependent on Medicaid and other publicly-funded benefits.
jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B
9 Articles; 4,800 Posts
One has a mother that is watching her kids and the other who has a friends whose house she is dropped at.....Not without resources....
And seems to me that no one asks...it is an assumption and a lurker at your car when you get out of work.....creepy and whacked. Hence why a fair warning that they should not be waiting by the car....and avoids the keeping all the doors locked and jumping in, locking your door and speeding off.....(cause then you run the risk of running over their feet, then it is a whole workman's comp thing, they sue your insurance company.......)