Not hearing from former nurse co-workers

[BlinkyPinky]

I've just been realizing it's been almost 2 months since I left my ( long term) job , and barely ever hear from former co-workers there. I'm old enough not to think of them as having been lifelong friends , but jeez there were a few i THOUGHT were my "buds".

Is this all it come down to , in the end ? Situational , pseudo- friendships? I mean I'm Not bereft or anything (I'm a proud introvert but can be friendly enough and social too), but really - at my age I am still a teeny bit struck at how this dynamic always seems to go

Yes I've done my part to " reach out"- but the phone \ texts etc work both ways last i che cked and I dont need a brick upside the head .

Anyone else have experienced this each time they move jobs?

[Sour Lemon]

I think it's fairly common. We're all so busy with what's right in front of us that it's hard to find time to look back. My last job had a pretty tight knit "work friends" group. Now we've all moved on and just have a text group that we pop into on occasion. Not everyone joins in every time, though. I've only seen a few of them in person in the last two years, too.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Yes. Every place I've ever worked. Often we gamely resolve to stay in touch, but after I realize I'm doing all the phoning I eventually give up. Workplace friendships just don't seem to survive job changes. My oldest friends are ones I've been to school with; those tend to stick better. However, even a couple of those seem to have dropped off lately.

I don't understand it, but I've come to accept it.

[AnnieNP, MSN, NP]

Another yes, almost every place I have worked.

[elkpark]

There are only a few times in my long career I've ended up maintaining friendships with "work friends" over time after leaving the job. "Work friends" aren't the same as "real" friends; it's helpful to understand the difference and not expect more from the relationship than it is.

[caliotter3]

I have only ever heard from workplace acquaintances when they wanted help finding a new job too. This happened when an under-new-management facility engaged in layoffs. Other than that, no one cares once you hit the parking lot for the last time.

[Neats, BSN]

You get out what you put into a friendship. Call and ask them if they want to go to a movie. Keep in mine your new job may have better hours and you already know what their schedule is, try working around their schedule a few times, if they are not receptive then move forward with your new co-workers.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

All of my best friends are people I met at work, but keeping in touch after leaving the job is difficult. I've managed to keep in touch with three people from three different jobs, and they are truly best friends. Two offered me a place to sleep after I had to leave an abusive marriage, one showed up with her husband to help me pack up and move out. We're hundreds of miles apart in physical distance, but close emotionally. It may not be realistic for you to be that close with every one of your work friends, but it may be possible to continue the friendships with your closest friends.

[Oldmahubbard]

My experience at multiple workplaces - keeping in real contact rarely happens.

[NurseJamillah, MSN, NP]

There are only a few times in my long career I've ended up maintaining friendships with "work friends" over time after leaving the job. "Work friends" aren't the same as "real" friends; it's helpful to understand the difference and not expect more from the relationship than it is.

On the topic of "work friends" in general, I have found this to be true. If the "friends" were people that I spent time with immediately after work, and all we talked about was work, then these are "work friends".

If we go on weekend trips together, our families know each other, etc. We are "real friends". If I have friends that I knew before my current job that you are now friends with also, I consider you a real friend.

I will never forget hanging out with someone and we ran into a few of her "real friends" at a restaurant and she introduced me by name, followed by, "we work together and had a long day". Although I took notice, I didn't really take it personally until I left job and experienced EXACTLY what you did, BlinkyPinky. So, don't take it personally, it is what it is!

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I consider a few nurses I work with friends, but there's only one I ever do anything with outside of work. That is the work friendship that I expect might last if one of us leaves our current employer since we actually have things in common outside of work.

[BlinkyPinky]

Dang. Yes I figured this was what I predicted. >>>

And yes I'm willing to make overtures but in s couple cases , I'm doing 90%+ of the messaging , texting et C not to mention calling, so --