Nicely undermining you.

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Yes I know, both words cancel out each other.But have you ever had that feeling that you were being undermined but in such a nice way, it's hard to even tell.

For instance, someone says something nice about your work ethics or related and this other person acknowledges it but finds a fault or some damper to put to it.

Kinda makes you to begin to wonder, if she is really supporting you really. Do you understand what I mean?

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There are some people that are passive aggressive and give a compliment and a dig all at one time. The solution is to pay people like this no mind as they are insecure and looking to drag you down to their own miserable level. If someone is giving you a true compliment you don't have to wonder as they make it known and have no ulterior motive or hidden agenda.

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Yes, I know what you mean. People who do this are very skilled at what they do. They are experts at manipulation and playing both sides of the fence, so skillfully, that it is hard to detect what they are really doing.

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You're both so right.Exactly what I am trying to get at- she's so good at this, that you can't even tell.

And her expression is always just right except you look closely and kinda just notice something that is totally at odds, with what she's saying. Me, I aim to do my best and simply ignore the behavior. I'll talk to her but ignore the behavior.

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Specializes in LTC Family Practice.

It's an art form down here in the south

(dripping with magnolia mouth)

Why shugar honey wherah evah didjah get those new scrubs, I guess yah really cain't dress up a 'tater sack with ah eggplant culah

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It's an art form down here in the south

(dripping with magnolia mouth)

Why shugar honey wherah evah didjah get those new scrubs, I guess yah really cain't dress up a 'tater sack with ah eggplant culah

Do you know my mother in law? :coollook:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
it's an art form down here in the south

(dripping with magnolia mouth)

why shugar honey wherah evah didjah get those new scrubs, i guess yah really cain't dress up a 'tater sack with ah eggplant culah

my very suh-than husband married a damn yankee nearly a quarter of a century ago and that remark made me laugh so hard i snorted tea up my nose.

i once had a charge nurse who gave me a positively glowing first evaluation but ended it with the note that, "katherine does not polish her laces when she polishes her shoes.":uhoh3: translation: no attention to detail... oh well...:banghead:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

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There are some people that are passive aggressive and give a compliment and a dig all at one time.

hoo boy, isn't that the truth.

reminds me of...nevermind, doesn't matter.

point being, if it unsettles you, trust your instincts.

just keep interactions to a minimum, and be thankful to those who are earnest...

you always know the honest/sincere ones, are the ones you can trust.

leslie

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It's an art form down here in the south

(dripping with magnolia mouth)

Why shugar honey wherah evah didjah get those new scrubs, I guess yah really cain't dress up a 'tater sack with ah eggplant culah

I agree fully! :yeah:

Agreed, best to ignore.

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Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Is a social behavior in some places. Is what here is named ...SOFISTICATED.

Is about cultural values and negotiation positions where you are. About people personalities.

Passive agressive here in US is used to much...is about unbalanced personalities that is all....and is not about only SOUTH is all over.... much more explanations you could find it on high educated people (make a search about it...).... is what I heard here "kill them with a smile", in Italy you kiss them before to die...

Agree with Leslie...if the instincts told you is somenthing wrong...IT IS!

If somenthing tell you don't have trust.... be sure that is how it is... NO TRUST! I brake this law ....I knew it that I don't need to have trust and i have it.... here the results... learning time Zuzi....

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Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

I just smile a big (some say evil) smile and say something very nice in a sugary sweat voice. This really freaks these nasty little people out. They are not sure if you are saying what you really mean or if you are being like them.

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

Believe it or not this a management technique they call a "sandwich". You sandwich a criticism between two compliments so that the person you are calling out doesn't even know they've been criticized. They just sit there smiling foolishly at the nice things being said and then it dawns on them...usually after the criticizer walks away. Too late for a snappy comeback.

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