My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

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I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?

Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

(((southernyankee))) I work in a facility where about 80% of the kids have been physically and sexually abused. some are also perpetrators as that is all they have grown up with. we have kids as young as 5 who have horrible abuse histories.

the bear and coloring book and journal are great ideas. do not be surprised though that she pulls back when you get too close .. you might want to google reactive attachment disorder...as she will inevitably show some signs of this.

be careful as others have said about crossing boundaries. It will hurt her worse if you get pulled off the case for being too involved when she gets close to you. I have many small kids in my facility that i would love to adopt. we are not allowed for good reason... there are too many of them!:confused:

Please try and get some counseling for yourself. this is bringing up horrible memories for you and you deserve better.

God Bless you and this little girl; and may her parents rot in the depths of the darkest place.

please feel free to PM me if I can help. Merry Christmas friend. mary

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Specializes in med/surg.
Southernyankee~you are a wonderful, loving, caring woman. Just reading your posts about what you have done for this little girl makes me soo grateful for her that she has you. Since they haven't sent any therapist in to see her, could you contact one yourself or ask the doc on her case for a referral? She really needs to see a child therapist. Especially one who deals with this kind of stuff.

Since her father was arrested and DHS is most likely going to be involved at this point. They will remove the little girl from her home. Is it possible that you can apply to be a foster parent? Maybe that way you can ask that she be placed with you since you know her case. I would contact DHS and ask them what you can do to get involved with her outside of the hosp. DHS will more than likely want to discuss with you and the doc the extent of her injuries and recieve her medical records as well.

Actually I started the long process of applying to be a foster parent a few months ago. The thought has crossed my mind. I will have to go through some couseling myself before I make any decisions though.

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

I hope the parents do NOT rot in jail. Those who destroy lives deserve their lives to be destroyed as well.

Southernyankee - you are doing an awesome job. This little girl will remember you forever.

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Specializes in A little of this & a little of that.

Perhaps you might contact the DHS worker and advocate for her being transferred to a children's hospital or specialty facility (if she's medically clear)where she can get the team approach she needs? You would lose her as a patient, but more easily be able to treat her as a friend. If that fails advocating for a SANE nurse and a child therapist would help. The DHS should be doing this, but may be more focused on the investigation than the care the child needs. I just fear that once her medical needs are stabilized, she will get put right into group/foster care without the intensive help she needs.

I think that just because it brings up the past for you doesn't mean you should limit your involvement. Since you have been able to have a family and career, you obviously have worked hard on healing your own trauma. I think it's a great idea to get some therapy for yourself for a while in helping you deal with it. Also, very good to turn here for support. The fact that you are able to reach out and to discuss this issue also shows you have done some healing.

I originally majored in Human Services because I wanted to help child abuse victims, having also a very bad childhood. I worked as a CNA to pay for it. By the 3rd year, I realized nursing was a better choice for me. Nurses provide real, tangible help to their patients. Even if they need a referral elsewhere we DO SOMETHING for them. Human Services was all about making referrals and coming up with care plans for the family or someone else to carry out. Nurses jump in and get things done! Being an advocate for the patient is what I see as my most important role as a nurse. This child needs an advocate. Give her lots of TLC, as you are. But, also really advocate for her to get all the treatment she needs to heal emotionally as well as physically.

And don't forget to take care of you!

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Specializes in med/surg.
Perhaps you might contact the DHS worker and advocate for her being transferred to a children's hospital or specialty facility (if she's medically clear)where she can get the team approach she needs? You would lose her as a patient, but more easily be able to treat her as a friend. If that fails advocating for a SANE nurse and a child therapist would help. The DHS should be doing this, but may be more focused on the investigation than the care the child needs. I just fear that once her medical needs are stabilized, she will get put right into group/foster care without the intensive help she needs.

I think that just because it brings up the past for you doesn't mean you should limit your involvement. Since you have been able to have a family and career, you obviously have worked hard on healing your own trauma. I think it's a great idea to get some therapy for yourself for a while in helping you deal with it. Also, very good to turn here for support. The fact that you are able to reach out and to discuss this issue also shows you have done some healing.

I originally majored in Human Services because I wanted to help child abuse victims, having also a very bad childhood. I worked as a CNA to pay for it. By the 3rd year, I realized nursing was a better choice for me. Nurses provide real, tangible help to their patients. Even if they need a referral elsewhere we DO SOMETHING for them. Human Services was all about making referrals and coming up with care plans for the family or someone else to carry out. Nurses jump in and get things done! Being an advocate for the patient is what I see as my most important role as a nurse. This child needs an advocate. Give her lots of TLC, as you are. But, also really advocate for her to get all the treatment she needs to heal emotionally as well as physically.

And don't forget to take care of you!

Thank you. I am actually looking in to having her transferred to our children's hosp. it would be a 3 hour drive but I have a few friends who live there so maybe i could visit her on my days off and weekends. Trying to get a team together. I am going to talk with her new case worker soon to see what options there are. If they would just get a therapist in here for her it would ease my mind alot. If they don't Im going to check into whether or not I can get my old therapist to come in and see her if they will allow it. I know she's good and knows what she's doing with these trauma cases.

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but any chance they could use that (the jouranl) as evidence against her?

I'm not sure what you mean by that? What did the girl do wrong that they would use against her?

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I'm not sure what you mean by that? What did the girl do wrong that they would use against her?

I think by "her", they meant the mom.

The child did nothing wrong.

:cry:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

With regard to the journal some have suggested the child keep -- it's a good idea, but best if done down the road because if the parents' attorneys get wind of the journal's existence, they can demand to examine it and may twist whatever she has written to their own advantage. If I sound anti-attorney, I'm not. I come from several generations of attorneys, judges and a some physicians as well and I've seen what can happen. This child needs to be able to move on to a better place and while I think it's admirable that the OP wants to befriend her and make things all better, she needs to be sure she doesn't become so necessary a part of her life that it breaks the girl's heart when the girl moves on to the next phase in her life. I don't mean to sound harsh, but to have the only or one of the only people who ever care about her suddenly not there can and will devastate her and she'll be back to where she was emotionally. I am absolutely NOT saying not to befriend her just not to try to be a mom to her or become indispensable. Hugs, reading to her, rocking her, sitting with her are all good but also, please, give her some space, time alone and dignity because she's older at nine than most of us will be at ninety-nine.:cry:

Next time you hug her, tell yourself it's from all of us too,

and keep one for yourself while you're at it,:icon_hug:

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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Specializes in A little of this & a little of that.

I think maybe in a case of an adult or teen with a less physically brutal assault, there may be something that could be found in a journal that an attorney might twist. But, in this case, the physical evidence speaks for itself. I don't see how there is anything that this poor little girl could say, write, think or do that could be twisted to the defense's aid. She needs an outlet.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

Unfortunately, there's a particularly motivated type of defender who believes children can be easily persuaded to fabricate or outright lie at the behest of someone else (often the mother but not always) that consequently tries anything he can devise to fluster and discredit the child and many times destroy the child in the process. To what end? He has saved a rapist and sodomist from the "welcome to prison"

initiation party big lifers with names like "Bubba" or "Tiny" hold regularly for certain new inmates.

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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that is sad.

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Specializes in ICU/ER.
. I don't mean to sound harsh, but to have the only or one of the only people who ever care about her suddenly not there can and will devastate her and she'll be back to where she was emotionally. I am absolutely NOT saying not to befriend her just not to try to be a mom to her or become indispensable. Hugs, reading to her, rocking her, sitting with her are all good but also, please, give her some space, time alone and dignity because she's older at nine than most of us will be at ninety-nine.:cry:

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

Very well said sharpeimom!! My gut is telling me the OP is getting too attached--while I commend her big heart I dont want to see the child go through yet another loss having to leave this nurse (OP)--fact is she will only be at the hosp a short time, then most likely off to the foster care system.

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