My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

Nurses Safety

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I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?

Specializes in Ambulatory Surgery, Ophthalmology, Tele.
I can't believe I'm about to share this but....I myself was in a eerily similar situation at 11 yrs. old. I have a good sense of what she's going through, it's just making it all the more difficult......

Another question, would it be unprofessional for me to share some very vague details about my own experience to help her know she's not alone and that healing is possible? I just don't know what to do but I have to do something. I am beginning to rethink my career at this point.

Bless you for sharing your story:heartbeat In regards to your question at the end, we discussed this alot in our ethical piece of my BSN program during clinical rotations. We were always told that you never tell someone-I know what you are going through, etc.- UNLESS you actually DO know what they are going through. I think it would be good to speak with her. This may make your patient feel less alienated and alone. I will definitely keep these sweet children in prayer.:redbeathe

Another thought I had was maybe getting some bubbles for this patient, or if it is not scary for the patient getting a little water gun or spay bottle for her. This may sound silly but my peds instructor said she would do this and have water gun fights with her patients. It helped them to laugh a little and feel more like kids again. Only bad thing was not all the nurses appreciated this and didn't play along. I thought it was a cute idea.

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Specializes in med/surg.
When we deal w/a situation like this, imho, we need to move around our own righteous anger and sadness in order to help the patient. Focus on her--if you're falling apart, weeping, how does that help her? If there's an incident in our past that this little girl reminds us of, deal w/it, but not in front of her.

Social service, psychiatry, child life team should all be involved to help her express and cope w/her feelings. They can provide the emotional support she needs, and support the nursing staff, too. They can give you ideas of activities for her. She needs play time, learning time--time to do something fun and distracting.

Art supplies are good, hand held games, board games if someone can play w/her. The assignments should be arranged to provide her w/"primaries", a team that she sees consistently.

Best wishes.

My God I don't cry and break down in front of her. I leave the room first. I'm doing the best I can.

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Specializes in med/surg.

I got my shopping done and delivered to her this evening. Big stuffed bear, journal, pajamas, housecoat and slippers. Along with coloring books and crayons. And a snuggly blanket with matching pillow. She gave me such a big hug. I did break down when she did this but I did so quietly as I walked out. I came back into her room after I composed myself and sat with her coloring for about an hour. I didn't know what else to do. I am not back on shift until after Christmas but I plan on visiting her everyday until I'm back on the floor. My charge nurse just kind of shook her head when she saw me walking in with all the bags. I don't know what it meant but I don't care. Thanks for all the support and ideas on how to deal.

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Specializes in med/surg.
If you think this is anything new, it isn't.

I collect old medical books and have a gynecology textbook from 1908. 100 years ago. It has a picture, from the autopsy, of the perineal area of an 8-month-old girl who had been raped and died as a result.

:lttang: will not be forgotten.

Thanks but unfortunatly I know this isn't anything new. I've lived it. Just the first time I've seen it in another patient. I don't work on a peds floor. Just med/surg. A very small hospital. 100 beds, so this isn't seen here normally. She is our only peds patient on my floor.Just because we are all to well aware of all the evil in this world doesn't mean we can or should we ever get use to it. Sorry not wanting to come off hateful just not dealing well.

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Specializes in med/surg.
I hate to be a downer---but i would NOT give the gifts. Give non tangibles--smiles/caring words/gentle touches. baribies and teddy bears are not going to make it any better and it may be putting you in a situation that makes it so you would be able to care for her any more....

Trust me---a doll is not what this kiddo needs. She does need some good consistent care, so dont get too attached that they take you off her assisgnment. If you want to give, give to the Toys for Tots program---I am willing to bet there are some abused and children of need kids in that program.

Also please please please do not tell this child what happened to you. Do not put your burden and grief on this girl---I know you think it will help, but it wont, not at this time when it is so recent.

Talk to a counselor but not this child. Once again let me say it again-----this child needs good consistent care, by some one who can look her into the eye and speak clearly and gently with her. Please dont put your self in a situation that would stop you from being the one to do this for her.

Sorry too bad but I've already taken her the gifts. It's Christmas....no else can come see her. I didn't get her dolls or barbies but alot of comfort items. I will not tell her what happened to me that's not something she needs to deal with. I meant I wanted her to know i understand how scared she is and that I care about her.please just give me a break. I will not be taken off her case. No one else wants to deal with her. I will not forsake this poor child. How I wish Ihad a caring nurse while I was in that bed, the coldness I felt was unbearable and humiliating

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Thanks but unfortunatly I know this isn't anything new. I've lived it. Just the first time I've seen it in another patient. I don't work on a peds floor. Just med/surg. A very small hospital. 100 beds, so this isn't seen here normally. She is our only peds patient on my floor.Just because we are all to well aware of all the evil in this world doesn't mean we can or should we ever get use to it. Sorry not wanting to come off hateful just not dealing well.

I can see where you're coming from. I posted that because a lot of people hear stories like that and think "people these days....." when it's always happened.

Not so many years ago, people would have denied that such a thing COULD happen, or that it only happens to those people, over there.

When I worked in another city, a preschool-aged girl was admitted with some relatively ordinary problem and was discovered to have an STD (I forget exactly what, and it doesn't matter). The Addressograph had the patient's address on it, and someone said, "The ABC Trailer Park. What do you expect?" and I replied, "This is going on in XYZ Wealthy Neighborhood too."

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Specializes in med/surg.
Give her every opportunity to talk about it. Always take time to listen, try to make sure she REALLY believes this was not her fault - she was victimized - I'm guessing by someone she knew - usually that is the case.

I like the journal idea. I also think a rape counselor might be a good idea, your social service department may be able to give you that information. Hugs to you and your innocent patient. God bless you for all you do. May God also give this child some peace.

Blessings

Another update, just got a call from a fellow employee, her dad has been arrested. That SOB, apparently the mom is looking at some charges as well.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.
My God I don't cry and break down in front of her. I leave the room first. I'm doing the best I can.

I didn't think that you did. And I do know that you are doing the best you can.

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Specializes in med/surg.

I've re read all my posts and I am so sorry that it seems i'm making this about me. That's not really the case. I truly feel so sad for HER, yes it's making me think about my own issues but I can't stop that from happening. I won't tell her anything about me. Sorry I'm getting so upset I just don't know...I'm doing the very best I can. We really do not have trauma therapist in our area. pop. less than 3,000. They haven't sent any therapist in to talk to her just the detectives badgering her. I am so put out by my own hospital right now. Again I'm sorry.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

You sound very empathetic and caring. If you experienced something similar it's only natural that you are personalizing this. You are doing fine.

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ssouthernyankee: As I read this post it reminds us that when kids go through these situations it is always by someone that they know. Thanks for taking your time and showing patience and love to her. She will remember you for ever as a comforter. Your'e a:lttang: :bow: Have a merry christmas and continue to share with the little one.

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Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

I have no sympathies for Dad. I hope they throw the book at him, and he spends the rest of his life as Bubba's Piece of arce. Heck, if we're lucky, Bubba and his buddies will do him at the same time - even then he won't know the fear and discrace this poor child feels. The people your suppose to trust the most, Mom and Dad, do this to you, or allow it to be done. All the rapes in the world won't help "Daddy Dearest" to understand what he's done to his child. But, heck, it would make me feel better knowing he's getting what he gave.

I know this sounds redneckish, but it's just the was I feel. I have no mercy for child rapests, none, zip, nada. I wish them only pain and self loathing for all their days. God help me and my soul, but that is what I believe.

We should all say prayers for this child, and for the thousands out there just like her who aren't yet safe.

Blessings

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