:crying2:I am so sad, my sister is dying. don't want advice, just needed to tell someone who would understand. I couldn't make myself go, the nurse part of me knows exactly what they are doing. The sister side of me wants to say, noooooooooo. My wonderful, caring, supportive sister. The one I always went to when things didn't make sence. She hasn't spoken a word in 2 weeks. My heart is breaking. I've helped so many people over the years. Why can't I help her. I couldn't bare to be there when they shut off the vent, when they give her the morphine. Why didn't I have the strength to go hold her hand and tell her it's ok to go. I've done it for patients, why couldn't I do it for her? Sorry if I have babled, my heart is breaking. I am sitting here waiting for my brother in law to call and tell me it's over. I've wanted to tell all of you for a while now, but couldn't make myself type the words. I knew what was coming the first night, after they told me she coded and she was without oxygen for over 5 minutes, I knew what had happened. Thanks for reading, I can't see the keys from the tears. God Bless you all:redpinkhe
:an!:Thank you, Thank you all.:ilyc: You all made me feel so loved. They turned off the vent, she kept breathing. They have been giving her morphine since last night. I have been praying that God, would take her home to be with him. Claudia has always been a fighter. I was so sure she would go last night, or today. My brother in law is with her again tonight. I swear my heart is broken in half. My kids are grown, I have been a nurse since they were 5 and 6, they are 35 and 34 now. Tonight my daughter called me and asked, "Are they giving Aunt Claudia, anything to drink?" I said no sweetie. She said but mom. I don't know how we can all go on much more.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Keep us posted. And, if you wish, share with us the story of your sister. What type of person she is, what she did for a living, the funny things and whatever you wish to reveal (if anything at all).
Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.
I understand how you feel. I couldn't make myself go in to see my father in the CCU before they took him off life support. I just couldn't handle it. Even at the funeral I couldn't look at him.
Later, I told my sister-in-law I didn't want to see him because I'd rather remember him like he was. She told me she wishes she had done the same because the image of him in his casket kept haunting her.
Don't feel bad about how you deal with grief. We all do the best we can when it comes to that.
I can relate. My grandfather looked horrible in his casket; did not look like him at ALL. Really hated seeing him like that.
The bond between sisters is very strong. I have two and we are very close. Your sister knows your heart and I am sure she feels your love. My prayers are with you and your sister's family.
I am so sorry for what you are going thru, my thoughts and prayers are going out to you tonight! Several years ago I lost my grandma and grandpa on the same day. I remember crying for days because I lived out of state and was not there when they passed. I thought by my not being there I was not being a loving granddaughter. Now that I am a nurse and time has passed, I realize how blessed I am that I did not witness my grandmothers suffering and that I only have wonderful cherished memories of who they truly were.
You are truly, in my prayers during this difficult time.
JJG07
68 Posts
I am so sorry to hear that, my prayers to you and your family.