:crying2:I am so sad, my sister is dying. don't want advice, just needed to tell someone who would understand. I couldn't make myself go, the nurse part of me knows exactly what they are doing. The sister side of me wants to say, noooooooooo. My wonderful, caring, supportive sister. The one I always went to when things didn't make sence. She hasn't spoken a word in 2 weeks. My heart is breaking. I've helped so many people over the years. Why can't I help her. I couldn't bare to be there when they shut off the vent, when they give her the morphine. Why didn't I have the strength to go hold her hand and tell her it's ok to go. I've done it for patients, why couldn't I do it for her? Sorry if I have babled, my heart is breaking. I am sitting here waiting for my brother in law to call and tell me it's over. I've wanted to tell all of you for a while now, but couldn't make myself type the words. I knew what was coming the first night, after they told me she coded and she was without oxygen for over 5 minutes, I knew what had happened. Thanks for reading, I can't see the keys from the tears. God Bless you all:redpinkhe
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to go through. I think it is wonderful that you will remember how your sister was when full of life rather than at the end. I bet she would tell you that would be her wish too.
Just reading your post I can feel that old ball of grief that never leaves me, it settles in my gut and on my shoulders. I am so very sorry for your pain, your sorrow, your loss and your grief. I pray you find strength to get through today and all the following days. I pray that you forgive yourself and remember the beautiful bond you have with your sister. Take care. Peace to you and your family. I'll be thinking and praying for you.
Specializes in PACU,Trauma ICU,CVICU,Med-Surg,EENT.
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I wish I could give you a hug! I can not imagine how hard this must be for you. I hope the warm memories you have of your sister will give you comfort and peace in the days ahead.
Hon, I am so sorry for your loss and experience. Having gone through something similar, I can tell you that it is different when the person dying is a family member. All of a sudden, I was no longer a nurse; I was a daughter, a sister, a niece. Believe me when we all tell you that your sister understood and loves you still. Be gentle to yourself. My thoughts are with you.:redbeathe:redbeathe
nurturing_angel
342 Posts
All I can say is I'm sorry. You are in my thoughts and my prayers.
:redbeathe
Take care, friend!