My patient committed suicide last night

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

Hey everyone.

I work in outpatient psych at a case management agency. I'm a nurse there but do case management stuff in an office setting with some home and community visits - just for background. We have about four hundred patients who receive service from our office - about one hundred on my personal team.

Last night my boss received a call from the police that one of our patients had been found dead - manner of death suicide.

This is the fourth patient in a week from our office who has died. (The others weren't my patients but still).

I don't even know why I'm posting. I just need to talk about it, I guess.

I didn't even LIKE this patient. He was inappropriate and rude. I think that's part of the reason why I'm so upset.

My boss is really torn up - he actually went out looking for the patient yesterday into the evening. He knew his kids...in fact his (my boss's) cell phone number was scrawled on the patient's arm according to the cops. We made him go home this morning.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Suicide is a difficult thing to process for everyone. There are some that no matter how much intervention they receive still will act on their desire to die.

I have had a total of 5 people in my life who have died of suicide. I went through the "what did I miss" stuff. I had a hard time processing, as I also did a great deal of hospice, where the only desire was to live. It was a trying time to process to say the least.

From the sounds of this particular patient, manipulation was a huge factor. The whole scrawling the phone number on his arm, from your bosses attempts to find him.....

Repeat after me. We can not save them all. Especially ones who have the burning desire to die at any cost.

[Farawyn]

My friend. Hugs to you. I'm so sorry for the heaviness I know you are feeling inside.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

From the sounds of this particular patient, manipulation was a huge factor. The whole scrawling the phone number on his arm, from your bosses attempts to find him.....

Repeat after me. We can not save them all. Especially ones who have the burning desire to die at any cost.

He was VERY manipulative. And he "cried wolf" quite frequently.

I mostly feel for his children.

Thanks.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

My friend. Hugs to you. I'm so sorry for the heaviness I know you are feeling inside.

Thanks so much. I really appreciate it!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I'm so sorry about this loss (((((hugs))))). Give yourself time to process the shock associated with such a tragic event. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[mrsjonesRN]

The human mind can be such a dark place. I am always sad to see patients who have attempted, or successfully, ended their own lives. It makes me wonder why and I always feel such sympathy for the families too.

As nurses, it is normal for us to feel bad when a patient dies, even if their character wasn't exactly the best. It is because life is so precious and those who want to live so badly don't, those who are "healthy", end their lives.

We will never understand why

[Farawyn]

Times like this, I really wish there was no screen, ya know?

[OCNRN63, RN]

He was VERY manipulative. And he "cried wolf" quite frequently.

I mostly feel for his children.

Thanks.

My first nursing job was in an inpatient psych unit. I still remember one patient who committed suicide on the unit.

Suicides for psych nurses are the same as codes that go badly for ICU nurses, IMO. Both nurses try to keep their patients safe, but ultimately, bad things can happen that are out of our control.

I'm so sorry.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

My first nursing job was in an inpatient psych unit. I still remember one patient who committed suicide on the unit.

Suicides for psych nurses are the same as codes that go badly for ICU nurses, IMO. Both nurses try to keep their patients safe, but ultimately, bad things can happen that are out of our control.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

The thing is, I *was* an ICU nurse and a self-described "code junkie." I guess most of the codes were somewhat expected so they didn't really bother me and there was that adrenaline rush...not so much when a patient is found alone and dead in the rain, in the woods...

[SmilingBluEyes]

I am so sorry, for you, his loved ones, and all involved.....

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

(((HUGS)))

That's all I have for you.