I work in outpatient psych at a case management agency. I'm a nurse there but do case management stuff in an office setting with some home and community visits - just for background. We have about four hundred patients who receive service from our office - about one hundred on my personal team.
Last night my boss received a call from the police that one of our patients had been found dead - manner of death suicide.
This is the fourth patient in a week from our office who has died. (The others weren't my patients but still).
I don't even know why I'm posting. I just need to talk about it, I guess.
I didn't even LIKE this patient. He was inappropriate and rude. I think that's part of the reason why I'm so upset.
My boss is really torn up - he actually went out looking for the patient yesterday into the evening. He knew his kids...in fact his (my boss's) cell phone number was scrawled on the patient's arm according to the cops. We made him go home this morning.
Specializes in Psychiatric/Mental Health, Hospice/Palliative.
I'm a psychiatric RN and I work in InPt psych. On February 27th of this year one of my patients committed suicide on our unit during shift change. It was my night off but the daytime charge nurse called me earlier in the day asking if I would come in because they were short staffed. I said no because I had plans to meet up with an old friend that night. My patient killed himself while I was having a beer. I have not forgiven myself for not going in ever since. I know it's essentially not my fault but these are the people I care for every day and I abandoned him. He was only 29 years old. I feel like I failed him even though I know deep down it's not my fault. It's incredibly difficult to distance oneself when you work with this population and something bad happens. I just wanted you to know, I understand exactly what you're feeling and I'm here for you.
When I was in nursing school, on the 1st day of my psych course, the professor asked everyone in the class, "who wants to be a psych nurse?". Not a single person raised their hand.
She then asked about several other specialties: ER, peds, L&D, geriatrics, etc. More people raised their hands with each one she asked. When she got done going through all the specialties she could think of, she said, "It doesn't matter what area you go into. Every single one of you will be psych nurses in some form or another".
Specializes in Pediatrics, Community Health, School Health.
I'm so sorry. I think the hardest part about suicide is all the unanswered questions left behind. I had my first personal experience with suicide when I was in 10th grade, and a good friend of mine tried (unsuccessfully thank god) to take her own life. It really shook me up. My most recent experience was a few months ago, when my very dear friend and neighbor's husband died by suicide. He was found in a hotel room about 10 miles from our house after my friend reported him missing. It has been especially awful, as he left behind two young children. He didn't leave a note we have been shell-shocked. He was a wonderful father, a great friend and neighbor, and really just an all-around good guy. For everyone it seems totally out of the blue, but as we know, something terrible must be going on in one's head to get to that point. I think about him constantly and wish he had reached out to someone before it ended the way it did. I know my friend will spend the rest of her life asking herself what she missed and how could she have saved him. Suicide is a terrible thing for everyone, whether it be the loss of a loved-one or a patient. I am so sorry.
Suicides for psych nurses are the same as codes that go badly for ICU nurses, IMO. Both nurses try to keep their patients safe, but ultimately, bad things can happen that are out of our control.
This statement.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am to the OP. Hugs to you.
mariav, BSN, RN
4 Posts
I'm a psychiatric RN and I work in InPt psych. On February 27th of this year one of my patients committed suicide on our unit during shift change. It was my night off but the daytime charge nurse called me earlier in the day asking if I would come in because they were short staffed. I said no because I had plans to meet up with an old friend that night. My patient killed himself while I was having a beer. I have not forgiven myself for not going in ever since. I know it's essentially not my fault but these are the people I care for every day and I abandoned him. He was only 29 years old. I feel like I failed him even though I know deep down it's not my fault. It's incredibly difficult to distance oneself when you work with this population and something bad happens. I just wanted you to know, I understand exactly what you're feeling and I'm here for you.