My husband made me cry!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

My husband hasn't exactly been behind me 100% in my desire to get my nursing degree (BSN). He has tolerated it mostly, but still griped when I spent too much time on school and complained about the money whenever a book arrived. I'm only on my pre-reqs and I told him that NS is going to take even more of my time and I have to get loans because of the cost. He also irrationally thinks I am going to find a Dr or someone more interesting than him and leave.

However, he came up to me yesterday and told me that he will do everything he can to help me get my degree! He said for the last 12 years I have traveled with him in his job, home schooled our two kids (very well, he added), I have stayed home to take care of him and the kids even when I wanted to work. He said it's now time for me - he is so proud of how I have done so far. He will figure out whatever it takes for loans and work and will help me reach my goal of being an RN! He's got me crying again - LOL.

I know there was a reason I married this man, I love him so much, he is so wonderful and HE LOVES ME!! :redbeathe :redbeathe

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Sounds kind of borderline to me...

I am studying psych, so this could just be where my mind is. I obviously do not know your situation. But reading those two paragraphs, the man you describe sounds like two different people. Who wouldn't love the spouse in the 2nd paragraph. Sounds like the "honeymoon" stage of abuse. Just my thoughts as again I do not know your situation.

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very perceptive MaleRN ... or ...

perhaps he was griping to someone and had a reality check either brought on by his own conscience or someone forced him to see that this is something he needs to support you on. Looking at how you've dedicated all of your time to your family for so long, having your attention directed elsewhere was probably a shock to him and he wasn't adjusting well. He could simply be trying to make amends for how he's treated you and realizes that it's important to the family as a whole for you to have his support.

... I could be romanticizing but it seems to me from what you've written that he's "seen the light." I wish you well and good luck :) And congratulations !!

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Definitely a 'seen the light' type of response. I've heard the very same scenario from the gals I go to NS with.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I want to think that her husband had a change of heart. Good luck.

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Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care, Urgent Care.
Sounds kind of borderline to me...

I am studying psych, so this could just be where my mind is. I obviously do not know your situation. But reading those two paragraphs, the man you describe sounds like two different people. Who wouldn't love the spouse in the 2nd paragraph. Sounds like the "honeymoon" stage of abuse. Just my thoughts as again I do not know your situation.

"Bob...we got another one here...says he read it in a book so it must be what it is." LOL Dude...did you really just reply this???? Too funny....

Mex:smokin:

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I hear ya, Sand Dollar! I have been taking my pre-reqs one at a time since last spring and now I am waiting to hear if I've been accepted into the Fall Semester (which I should know TOMORROW). About 3 weeks ago I had a mini-meltdown and had talked myself into waiting until Spring semester to start. When I told my husband the decision I had made, he told me I was crazy to put this off any longer and "there will never be a perfect time to quit your job and go to school, so you might as well do it now." Is it going to be easy? No, but it is only two years and I might as well get started now! I know I count my blessings that I have a supportive husband!!

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Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.

i do think, sometimes even the people who are closest to us can be discouraging at times, it seems as though, he's worried about loosing you and i even sense some jealousy, i don't know the state of your relationship or even how it was and is but i will say that it was honest of him to finally accept your decision to go to nursing school, but watch his actions and make sure what he saying aligns with what he's doing, just my two cents.. bestest of luck!!

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Specializes in Hospice & Palliative Care, Oncology, M/S.

Awwwwwww........

In my relationship, we've had rough times due to my stressing over classes (finishing up pre-reqs right now). School has taken a ton of my time, and he has often expressed that he's worried that I'll find someone else who is going along the same lines as my career choice. I tell him that won't happen, that he's the one I love.

He's incredibly supportive of me now, and offering to help me if I need to study :) He has expressed too that he would really love to be able to support me as I go through nursing school finance-wise and is trying really hard to make that happen.

I'm so happy for you that hubby has come around - I'm sure it makes everything easier on you to know that you will be supported through the next step of your adventure. :heartbeat

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

MaleRNin2010, I had to laugh at your response, because you're so off. Its easy to make a comment like that if you only see part of the puzzle. To fill some more of that puzzle in for you, my husband runs HUGE projects (600-1000 ppl working for him at once) worth multi millions of dollars, his current project has lasted 2 years. Stress has been high lately and he has needed my support when he gets home. Yes, the attention has been on him and he needed it more than me because of his job, but now the end of the job is in sight and he knows we are going back to a normal routine. The stress is lessening for him and he sees that it will be my time for the attention. Not abuse, but a marriage of give and take. As well, we have 1 teenager already in college, 1 starting this fall and another next fall... plus me, so hence the $ concerns.

It was an AHA! moment for him and I am very thankful for that. He has been working very hard and I have supported him 100%, but I will need that support soon and he is willing to give it. We are both very lucky to have each other, and we know it. :)

mwski - your hubby is right, you have done a lot already to get to this point, don't put it off. This is your time now - go girl!! lol BTW - please let us know if you got in, I can't even apply until July for a January start, ugh. Good luck!!!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

gt4everrpn - yes, there is some jealousy there but that's a deep thing in him (he was betrayed). He knows it's irrational and he has been working through that for years, he just thinks less of himself than he deserves. Poor guy. I just have to reassure him that he has my entire heart, which he does. :) I hope you are right that he will help me when push comes to shove, but I'm sure if I remind him of his promise, it won't be a problem.

Coriander - I think i will try and involve him how I can and let him know how much it means to me. We all like to be appreciated, and if I turn it into 'us' time it might become something he looks forward to - I can hope can't I? LOL

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Sand Dollar, Like I attempted to disclaim. I do not know your situation. Obviously you are more in tune to your life and surroundings. I was merely responding to the subjective data that you provided. I would advise anyone reading this to reread the first post and notice the difference in the paragraphs. Of course I wish you the best, and validate all of your frustration as I am experiencing the same frustrations that you, and the thousands of nursing students who have gone down these roads before us have. And I even laughed to myself while typing my response knowing full well that I am so psych oriented right now. Please have mercy on me for I am also in a whirlwind of nursing diagnoses, interventions, and theories as well. :)

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